She wouldn’t look at me.
“When I told you I was committed to this marriage, I meant it. Just because we aren’t having sex doesn’t mean I’m gonna go looking for it somewhere else. You’re the only woman I want… I wish you understood that. The only reason I’m not screaming at you right now is because I know you’ve been through a lot. But I would never do that, no matter how hard things get. You could never sleep with me again, and I’d still be right here. I’m in this for the long haul. Even if you wanted to divorce me, I wouldn’t let you. It’s you and me…forever. Do you understand that?”
Her breathing picked up noticeably, and she turned her head slightly farther to the right so I couldn’t see her face. She was unresponsive to my declaration, but her heightened breathing relayed its own story.
“Sofia, do you understand that?”
She ignored me.
My voice became sterner. “Look at me. Now.”
She fought me initially, but when her body started to shake, it was obvious she’d lost the battle. She finally turned her face back to me, eyes full of tears and with wet cheeks. Her bottom lip was trembling because she couldn’t keep her emotions stable.
It broke my heart to see her like that, to see such a strong woman feel so insecure. If she only understood the depth of my feelings, she would understand just how perfect she was, regardless of the things that had happened to her. But it also told me she was scared to lose me, that she didn’t want me to be with anyone else, that she wanted me all to herself. She was invested in this marriage, and her guard was down. That meant I could hurt her…and that terrified her.
“Baby, I’m yours.” I moved into her side and wrapped my arms around her. I brought her close and cradled her face against my chest. My fingers slid into the back of her hair, and I held her against me. I listened to my wife cry, listened to her open her heart to me. She underappreciated her value and thought I would do the same thing. “I will never hurt you. I promise.”
Her arm wrapped around my waist, and she cuddled into me. Her tears only lasted a few more minutes before she forced herself to calm down. Once the silence was the only sound between us, she whispered into the darkness, “I don’t want to lose you.”
Those words brought me joy, but they also brought me pain. My chin rested on her head so she couldn’t see my face. She couldn’t see the moisture that built up in my eyes. “You could never lose me.”
Our relationship improved over the week.
She wasn’t as distant with me. She extended affection often, kissing me goodbye when I dropped her off at work and embracing me when I picked her up again. When we went to sleep together, our bodies were always wrapped around each other.
But it never went further than that.
I noticed she still didn’t change in front of me. Her outfit changes always took place in the bathroom. It was strange because I’d never given her the impression that I’d tear her clothes off and bend her over the bed. I was always delicate now, and I would never pressure her unless she explicitly told me that was what she wanted. So changing in the bathroom seemed a little excessive.
But I didn’t dare complain.
I was in my office at the bank when Damien walked inside. Unfortunately, we had to deal with each other often. It was always uncomfortable, always tense. But we usually said whatever needed to be said and went on about our day.
Damien approached my desk, his eyes guarded and his hands in the pockets of his suit. “How’s Sofia?”
I noticed he only asked about her. He hardly asked about me. “Better.”
He gave a slight nod. “Good.”
I was still used to telling him everything, so I wanted to tell him what Sofia had accused me of last week. She actually thought I was sneaking around behind her back. She actually thought I went to a whorehouse or picked up a woman at a bar. It was ludicrous, because I would never find a woman who compared to her.
When we had nothing else to say, Damien spoke. “I got a good list of his distributors. I sent the guys out to take care of it, but it’ll be a while before we get them all.”
“I’m available if we need more hands on deck.”
“I’m already getting my hands dirty. I think you should stay home with Sofia. She needs you right now.”
That was a valid point. When I was gone just one night, she assumed I was having an affair. She probably couldn’t sleep unless I was there. I didn’t know what her sleeping arrangements had been with Maddox, if she had been forced to sleep beside him every night. I suspected that wasn’t the case because Sofia would’ve killed him with her bare hands. “True.”