I wanted to take it, and I could see how things were different now, but how could I not be afraid? I couldn’t fight my urge to cry anymore. I let the pain and fear and heartache of the past leak onto my cheeks.

“I know it’s a lot to take in,” Manning said quietly. “I don’t want to scare you off, but I can’t let you leave without knowing how I feel. Give me one thing tonight. Believe in me long enough to see the house I built on faith, for a family I might never have.”

I covered my mouth and sobbed into my hand. Manning might’ve broken my heart and made mistakes, but he was too good of a man not to be a father and husband. “Don’t say that.”

“I might not get those things, Lake.” He backed away from me. “There’s only one person I’m meant to have a family with. If I can’t, I won’t.”

He deserved a family more than anyone I knew, so I let that tether between us pull me along with him. As he left the kitchen, I followed—past empty bedrooms, through the darkened house, until we were at the end of a hallway.

He opened a door for me, and I looked up at him as I walked into a room with walls painted midnight blue—or maybe it was the color of the ocean floor, or a starless New York night. By the enormous, honeyed-wood bedframe with matching nightstands, I could tell Manning had put thought into the master bedroom, just as he had the kitchen.

I walked closer to the footboard, which had been carved with a large bear on all fours in a forest, looking over his shoulder at the trees. My great bear. I didn’t see much more than that because my vision blurred with more tears. If I could go back to that night where he’d shown me the constellations and then told me no when I’d tried to kiss him, would I change any of it? Would I have left it at that? I wasn’t sure. There’d been so much heartbreak and only just enough love to keep me going. Could I do it all again? Was he asking me to?

I turned back to him. “It’s been so long,” I said, and I wasn’t sure if I meant his absence or the time that’d passed since this had all started. “Things are different for each of us. Do we even know each other anymore?”

He came to me and wrapped an arm around my middle. My body locked up as he pulled me against him, but as I looked into his familiar, warm brown eyes, I thawed. It was like snapping together with my matching puzzle piece.

“Do we?” he asked as he cupped my jaw. “Does this part feel different?”

Ever since I’d left Manning’s hotel room in New York, nothing had been quite right. I’d accomplished a great deal since then, and there was more on my horizon, but still, Manning’s absence persisted in me. Even being here with him tonight had been so confusing—until now. I was no longer out of place. I was no longer just me. I was Manning’s. His arms around me brought everything into focus. This was still, after all these years, all that mattered. I wondered if he’d known that since he’d seen me on the studio lot, and that was why he seemed so calm tonight.

“It’s the same, isn’t it?” he asked, running his hand up my back.

“Yes, but is that a good thing?”

“This was never the problem. It was that we had to grow up. You were right. I’m not the same person I was, and neither are you. I’m a better man. And you . . .” He dropped his forehead against mine, inhaling deeply. “I can make you happy. It kills me to hear that you think letting me go is the only way, but it isn’t. I promise you. I can be the support you need to soar.” He squeezed me closer. “Trust in this. I know you, I always have. That part remains the same—how much I love you. How you deserve that love. How I deserve you. How I’m . . .” He paused, sounding strangled. “Good enough to accept it. At least, I will fight to be, every day.”

I reached up and traced my fingertip over the scar on his lip. So much hurt, so many wounds and bandages. In his own way, Manning had been looking out for me through all of it. “You’ve always been good in my eyes. I’ve waited so long for you to see it, too.”

“I see it. My love for you is strong enough to make me good enough.” As he said it, his lips got closer and closer, as if he couldn’t help himself. It wasn’t like Manning to be so vulnerable. He moved my hand over his heart. “I told you I can’t go on without this. Since the day you left, I’ve been nothing but lonely.”

Tags: Jessica Hawkins Something in the Way Romance
Source: readsnovelonline.net