I went to find our seats in the orchestra section. The tickets had undoubtedly cost my mom some money and a good deal of planning. For those reasons, I was glad I’d come tonight. My relationship with my mom had suffered because of my dad, and this must’ve been important to her. But I couldn’t ignore the weight on my shoulders. Manning had shown up on my doorstep that morning, and now we were playing nice. It wasn’t fair that he should get what he wanted, always. I’d skip dinner, I decided, and that would be it. I didn’t owe him any of this, and he could still tell my mom we’d been to the show. There wasn’t much left of my dignity, or my determination, but some could still be salvaged.

Manning sat heavily beside me, way too much man for the creaky seats. “I don’t like when you walk away from me,” he said.

“What you’re not understanding is that it doesn’t matter what you like, Manning. You have no say over what I do.”

He stared forward, gripping the armrest. Eventually the curtain lifted, but I couldn’t concentrate on the performance. I felt like a fool for agreeing to this. If I was honest with myself, it was only partly because of my mom. I’d really wanted an excuse to be here with Manning, but what had I expected to get out of tonight? Nothing, and yet I’d still given in to him. Just to be close to him again, to feel the warmth of his attention after years of winter’s indifference. It was as Val had said—Manning could undo me in less than one night, destabilizing a life I’d worked hard to build without him.

I turned to him. “Why aren’t you wearing your ring?”

“What?” he whispered.

“Your wedding ring. Are you and Tiffany separated?”

“I don’t . . .” He frowned. “I’ve never really worn one since I work with my hands a lot. But—”

“So you’re still with her.” Disappointment seared though me. What an idiot I’d been, secretly wondering if there might be more to this night than what it was. “You still love her.”

Manning looked from me to the stage. “You really want to talk about this here?”

I didn’t let him off the hook. “Do you love her?”

He ran his hand down his face, sighing. “Don’t make me answer that, Lake.”

I got up, and he reached for my hand. I pulled back just in time, squeezing through the row to get out. I hurried through the lobby to the coat check, but Manning had our claim tickets. Pushing out of the lobby into the chilly night, I tried to simultaneously calm my breathing and warm my shoulders. A line of cabs sat out front, but I waited, knowing Manning would come.

Moments later, my coat fell over my shoulders, and I grabbed the lapels, pulling it close. “You shouldn’t be here, in New York,” I said.

“Neither should you.”

Where would I be now, if not for this city? Maybe things weren’t perfect, and maybe I’d done a decent job of convincing myself this was where I had to be, but I couldn’t imagine I’d be okay anywhere in the world without Manning. I faced him. “I thought I could do this, but I can’t. Even just seeing a show together feels wrong.”

“That’s because it’s not just a show,” he said, coming closer. I got the sense by the way he flexed and clenched his hand that he wanted to touch me. He rubbed his temples instead. “Would you have given me anything I’d asked for?”

I wrinkled my nose, trying vainly to close the gap in our conversation. “What?”

“Earlier in the taxi, when I said you were young and infatuated and I put distance between us because you would’ve given me anything I’d asked for—was I right?”

I looked at him. It was out of character for him to push like this when he’d withheld, and forced me to withhold, for so long. “Yes,” I said, hoping to shock him back.

“What about now?”

“No.”

“Good.” When he exhaled, the air between us fogged. “Then I won’t feel bad asking.”

I breathed a little harder, not sure I understood. Not sure I wanted to understand. “Asking for what?”

“Fuck.” He shoved a hand through his black hair, pulling it so it stuck up a little. “Do you know why we’ve never kissed?”

Was he serious? We’d been over and over it. “Because I was too young.”

“Try again.”

I nearly scoffed at him. He was going to make me say it out loud? I took a step back, thinking of leaving, but he took two steps forward. “What are you trying to prove?” I asked.

“What’s the reason? Why haven’t we kissed?”

“You were with my sister,” I forced out.

He shook his head. “Those are the reasons we couldn’t be together. They were why nobody could know what we had. But you know as well as I do, there were more than a few times I could’ve had my way with you.”

Tags: Jessica Hawkins Something in the Way Romance
Source: readsnovelonline.net