“You’re crushing me,” I cried, avoiding his eyes. He was a married man, and he was unbearably heavy, pinning me, his mistress, to the mattress. And he wasn’t just someone else’s husband. He was Tiffany’s. “Get off. I can’t breathe.”

He rose onto his arms, and I ducked out from underneath him. I pulled the top sheet off the bed, crossing the room as I wrapped myself in it. Maybe it was subconscious guilt, but on my way to the door, my eyes landed on the tiny wooden box on my dresser. The gift Tiffany had given me as her maid of honor. Val had stood in this same spot last night and reminded me of the truth.

He chose your sister, Lake. He married her.

Val would be so disappointed by what I’d done. Once again, I’d ignored the consequences like Manning had said I would. I hadn’t even cared enough about my own sister, my own future, to protect myself. Manning knew I couldn’t say no to him.

Look what you’ve done, Lake.

Tiffany’s accusation the day Manning was arrested was never far from my mind, and this time, there was no doubt it was true. I’d done something awful, and like Val had said, I had nobody to blame but myself. I was an adult now, and using a condom was as much my responsibility as Manning’s.

“Lake, come back here.” I turned to Manning, who sat on the edge of the bed with his elbows on his knees. “I see your mind spinning.”

“We barely even talked about her,” I said. “We didn’t even . . . we just . . .”

“I know what we did.” He stood and turned away to search the floor. The sight of his naked, tight behind nearly made my heart give out. He was as fit as he’d been that day on the construction site, every muscle visible just beneath the surface. And there, staring back at me, was his subtle, almost invisible tattoo. The thin, black, uneven triangle on the back of his shoulder both warmed and taunted me. I’d always be there, inked onto his skin, but so was that third point. Was it her?

He bent to pick up his boxer-briefs, then pulled them on. “Let’s make something to eat, and then we can figure this out.”

I couldn’t believe I was standing here thinking about his ass after what I’d done. What kind of a person—what kind of a sister—did that make me? Tiffany was no angel, but this was another level of betrayal. “Eat?” I asked. “We just had sex. How can you think about food now?”

“Well . . .” He turned, a corner of his mouth cocked. “I know it was your first time, but typically—”

“I’m serious, Manning,” I said, closing the sheet more tightly around myself. He had a life with her. I knew nothing about it, except I could picture them holding hands, kissing, sleeping in the same bed, because it’d all played out in front of me. Every time they’d come up in conversation with my mom, I’d gotten off the phone. I couldn’t handle it then, and I certainly couldn’t now, naked with Manning’s cum dripping down the inside of my thigh. “We shouldn’t have done this,” I said.

“No?” he asked, wiping the crooked smile off his face. “You look me in the eye and say that, because I’m thinking the exact opposite. That I’ve been a fucking fool for letting so much time pass without you underneath me.”

“You don’t even care that you’ve hurt her,” I accused.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” he asked. “Just because I’m not hysterical doesn’t mean I don’t care. I was trying to shield you from some of the pain, but if you want to have a chat about Tiffany, let’s talk.” He cracked his knuckles. “You want me to say I feel like shit for hurting the woman who’s stood by my side the past four years, then—”

“Stop,” I said, covering my ears as I dropped into a squat. “Please stop.”

He got down in front of me, taking my elbow. “Lake, calm down. Come sit and we’ll talk through this.”

“We didn’t use protection,” I choked out. My stomach churned, and for a moment I worried I’d vomit. I wrenched my arm out of his hand. “What were we thinking? You should’ve said something. You should’ve insisted.”

“Don’t pull away,” he said. “I’ve spent a lifetime trying to stay away from you while you did nothing but make it hard for me. Do not pull away now that I can touch you.”

“But it only makes things worse.”

He ran his tongue over his bottom teeth, raising two angry eyebrows. “Worse?”

I hadn’t meant it that way, but the truth was, I’d never been able to think straight or make the right decisions while Manning was around. I was blind around him and always had been. Consequences never mattered until it was too late. I stood and dropped a hand to my side, clutching the sheet closed with the other. “Maybe it’s best we take some time to think. Separately.”

Tags: Jessica Hawkins Something in the Way Romance
Source: readsnovelonline.net