I shake my head, not understanding. He has to be kidding right now. His body is like a masterpiece. He holds up his injured arm and then points to the side of his body. It's only then that I notice the wounds that are freshly healed.
Instinctively, I sit down on the bed next to him and put my finger on one piece of marred skin. Easily, I caress his skin, moving from one injury to the next. Sadness fills me as I look at him, thinking about everything that he went through and everything he's overcome. When my hand trails down the side of his chest down to his rib cage, he groans, and I pull back suddenly. "I'm sorry. Did I hurt you?"
He’s staring straight into my eyes. "It’s not that kind of hurt.”
I tilt my head to the side, not understanding, and he grabs on to my hand, putting it back on his skin. "You want to know something about me, Ella?"
My hands curl into the soft patch of hair on his chest, loving the feel of it on my fingers. "Yes," I whisper, wondering what he's about to tell me.
He leans toward me, and I can smell the alcohol on his breath. "I haven't even told a therapist about this."
My curiosity is piqued, and I look at him questioningly.
He blinks his eyes, and his cheeks turn red. "The month that I've been in the hospital, I haven't been able to—you know."
I try to think what he means, but I don't get it. "You haven't been able to what?"
He covers my hand with his and presses it against his chest, holding me to him. "I thought my manhood wasn't working."
I lick my lips and bite on to my lower lip. "And tonight at the bar, you figured out different?" If you could hear a heart breaking in two, you would probably hear mine right now. The thought of him with somebody else is killing me. I’ve told myself over and over that I need to keep my distance, but I haven’t been able to.
He shakes his head. "No."
"Oh?" I ask. "I don't understand then."
He looks as if he's debating with himself before he finally blurts it out. "I figured it out three nights ago when I woke up from my nightmare and had shoved you off the bed. Do you remember when I lifted your shirt and touched your back?" Then I feel his hand on my back, rubbing back and forth. "Like that," he says.
I swallow deeply. "Yeah, I remember."
He nods his head. " That's when I realized that my manhood was working."
I know that my eyes are probably about to bulge out of my head in surprise. "With me?"
He chuckles softly and leans in, pressing his lips to my cheek before putting his mouth to my ear. "With you."
He pulls back and looks me straight in the eye. His words are nothing like what I would expect him to say. "I want you, Ella."
I put both hands on his chest to hold him there. It wouldn’t take much for him to convince me, but I’m not going to take advantage of the state he’s in. "You're drunk."
He’s staring at my lips, shaking his head side to side. "No, I'm not. We were gone over five hours, and I had four beers. I'm not drunk."
I start to stutter. "Well, you're not thinking right then." Then it suddenly hits me, and I smack him lightly on the chest. "You feel like you owe me something, Logan, for staying here this week. You don’t owe me anything. What is it? Do you feel it's your duty to give me an orgasm? Is that what this is about?"
His hands slide to each side of my neck, and he leans in toward me. His lips are almost touching mine. "I want to give you an orgasm, but that's not why I'm doing this. I want you, Ella."
I wish I could be completely confident, but that's not who I am. I start to stutter. "Logan, I'm not anything like—" but before I can say Harper's name, he puts his lips to mine. He kisses me thoroughly, molding our lips together. When his tongue invades my mouth and sweeps along mine, I moan, and he draws back.
"I'm not even thinking about her. I'm not thinking about any of the girls that were at the bar tonight. The only one I've been thinking about is the curvy brown-eyed girl that has been waiting for me at home."
I have an internal debate with myself inside my head. Yes, I could say no and get up and walk out of here. It wouldn’t be easy, but I could do it. But that's not what I want, and I know I would regret it for the rest of my life if I did. For the first time in my life, I'm going to throw caution to the wind. "I want you too, Logan."