Jackson and I were supposed to be a little fun.

Nothing more.

Sex—the casual kind with no strings involved.

That’s worked great for a while, but he only knows a portion of my situation. I have no room in my life right now for the added commitment. None of that will come as a surprise to him. I’ve never portrayed myself to be any different. But no one could have predicted Jackson and I would hook up. Least of all, the two of us. We’ve always been more different than alike in our views on life. From art to movies, food to cocktails, how we like to spend our time to how we spend our money, Jackson St. James couldn’t be a worse match for me.

“I don’t know. What are you doing?”

I peek back into the bedroom, where Jackson sleeps so peacefully. The moonlight glides over the cut of his muscles and the sharp corner of his jaw. Crossing the living room so I don’t wake him, I say, “I should leave, but my gut tells me to stay.”

“Then you should stay.”

“I can’t do this, though.”

An impatient sigh, which is uncharacteristic for my friend, is heard. “Marlow?”

“Yeah?”

She gulps and then says, “You’ve been doing this with Jackson for some time now. Hold on . . . Let me get out of bed so I don’t wake Rad.” I hang on the line, listening to the soft shuffling from her end of the call. “Okay, we can talk now. Tell me, Marlow, what’s so different about tonight than the other nights you two have been together?”

“We kissed. He kissed me, and I kissed him.”

“I know.” A light giggle permeates the line. “We were all there.”

Sitting on the windowsill, I say, “It—”

She gasps. “Wait. I may be a little slow at this hour, but I just realized what you meant. You and Jackson don’t kiss?”

“We kiss in . . . hrm . . . How do I put this? We kiss in certain ways, but we don’t kiss like we did tonight.”

“I had no idea.” Her voice is clearer, the fog of sleep stripped away. “I thought—”

“I know.”

“So . . . ” She pauses again. I can tell by her humming that she’s hesitant to speak her mind.

“It’s okay. You know I’ll tell you anything.”

Lowering her voice, she says, “How was it?”

“It was amazing.” Just like him. I keep that part to myself, though. Generally, I’m an open book, but sometimes, I keep my cards close to my chest. Jackson is one of those cards. My finances are another.

But I smile, thinking of how he makes me laugh when he gives me a hard time about pretty much everything. But then he looks at me like I’m more than he could ask for. The man is gorgeous with his GQ face and a body that is hard everywhere except when it comes to his heart.

I’m dramatic and over the top, and sometimes self-absorbed. So I’ve been told. Though I can admit to the tendencies and see the worst of my parents in me, Jackson seems to have a soft spot for me.

Go figure.

Tealey asks, “Amazing is amazing, so why are you calling me when you could be with him right now?”

“I . . .” I stand back up and pace in front of the windows, staring out into the darkness of the night. Lights dot the cityscape like stars in the sky. “What if I mess it up?” That would be so like me. I not only have a knack for falling into traps but I’ve caused a few catastrophes as well and never portrayed myself any different.

It’s just safer to be alone.

“You won’t,” she says. “Jackson knows who you are, and that’s who he wants.”

“I don’t want him to hurt me.” I clear my throat softly to clear the emotions threatening to clog. “Every man I’ve ever trusted has hurt me in one way or another. Cheating boyfriends in high school or guys who dumped me in college to the ultimate betrayal of my dad. Always traveling to a new movie set, he left the house manager to raise me. And let me tell you, she wasn’t paid enough for that job. I may have felt abandoned by my parents physically, but I knew I would always have a safety net financially. I never thought my dad was capable of doing what he did.” I tear up. “The lies. I can’t get past the lies he told me.”

“You don’t need to forget or forgive right now. That can come in time if you so wish, but those situations are better handled after sunrise. As for Jackson, he’s not like your dad or any of those loser boyfriends.”

I stop and cross my arm over my chest, holding my hand on my other bicep. “I’m messed up, Tealey. I don’t want to hurt him either.”

Tags: S.L. Scott Erotic
Source: readsnovelonline.net