“Listen,” he said, taking a few steps toward me. “You get on my ass about taking a breather, and it’s a conversation I should have with you too. You’re always off helping someone. You’re there for me whenever I need you, now you’re helping a sub who can’t reach emotional release without pain, you keep taking in rescue dogs, you cover for your brother every time his daughter is sick… I can go on.”
And? My youngest niece was sick a lot. She had a weakened immune system, and Ben was on his own every other week. Thankfully, he was on good terms with his ex; they’d just drifted apart and had different goals for the future. But what was I supposed to do, not take his shifts at work when Sophie was sick?
“What’re you gettin’ at?” I tilted my head.
“I’m wondering who’s there for you, asshole.”
What the fuck? I couldn’t help but chuckle. Sloan was there for me. “Between you, Peyton, Gen, and my mother, I get all the phone therapy I need.” The road was where I did my venting and out-loud thinking. On my way to work, on my way to make deliveries, on my way to any-fucking-where.
“Those aren’t the needs I’m referring to.” He came to a stop right in front of me, a little closer than usual. “I know you can get laid whenever you want. I know you have a line of subs waiting for their turn for casual play—but you’re the least casual man I know, Greer. When was the last time someone tended to your core kinks? When was the last time you had an actual relationship?”
Nah, we weren’t doing this here. That was the one topic I shied away from at all costs.
“Unless you’re developing a kink for domestic servitude and consensual slavery, there isn’t a whole lot you can do.” I plastered a smirk on my face to lighten the tension.
Those were my core kinks, and they were nothing I could indulge in without a proper relationship. I needed an intense mental connection and chemistry, none of which I could find in casual play partners.
Sloan quirked a faint smile at me. He saw straight through my façade of humor, and it was starting to make me uncomfortable. We didn’t discuss my status as the perpetual bachelor. We didn’t go there, because I didn’t like it.
“You left one deep-seated need out,” he murmured. “It’s actually interesting to me that when we meet up these days, it’s either nothing or a quick, one-armed hug. Or that one time you legit bumped my fist like you do with Jason.”
Yup, definitely uncomfortable now. I didn’t know where he was going with this, and the air around us felt stiff and awkward. Or maybe it was me who felt that way, and I didn’t fucking do awkward. Plus, Sloan was only a couple inches shorter than me, so I couldn’t escape. He was right in my goddamn face.
“What am I supposed to do?” I asked impatiently.
“How about hug me properly?”
Warning bells went off at an alarming rate when he closed the distance between us and wrapped his arms around my neck. I didn’t know why either. It was a hug. We’d hugged a million times before—but it’d been a while.
“Hug me back, Shepherd.”
Right. I cleared my throat and hugged his middle, feeling awkward as fuck.
We weren’t exactly alone on the sidewalk. People walked by.
“Affection always reenergized you,” he said quietly. “You need closeness and intimacy in your life.”
He started stroking my upper back in soothing motions, and I didn’t know what to do. I was tense and wondering if I’d lost my marbles.
When had it become easier for me to fuck a stranger than hug my closest friend?
Seconds ticked by, and Sloan kept his arms around me, sometimes a little harder, sometimes a little looser. And it did shit to me. As if thawing me after years of being stuck in a block of ice. We broke past a barrier where we went from hugging to holding, so I held him tighter and felt the awkwardness fade away. I was still clueless about this experiment of his, but I no longer had to worry about crossing a line or what the appropriate length of a hug was, because we were so beyond that.
I dipped my head and rested my forehead on his shoulder.
It felt so fucking good.
He felt good.
I leaned back against the door of my truck and pulled him with me, and I closed my eyes to shut out the world.
Sloan’s response was to kiss my cheek and weave his fingers through my hair.
I shuddered and stroked his back.
“Christ, I could fall asleep right here,” I muttered drowsily. “So much for reenergizing me.”
He chuckled silently. “Sometimes it’s about comfort too. But of course you could fall asleep. How many times have you told me that you’re not a Marine until you can sleep anywhere?”