“I’m okay,” she says, sensing my energy. Not that I’m trying to hide it. As I pass her and enter the bathroom to turn on the shower, I can’t speak. She watches me, her eyes calm as if she has made peace with her destiny.
I, on the hand, have not. But getting her out of those clothes, and burning her bloodstained tennis shoes, are a step in the right direction.
One step at a time, my mind chants. Reaching for her, I pull her to me and remove her top.
Trust, she trusts me. No matter what, her loyalty and love surround me, nearly bringing me to my knees.
I’ve never had this, felt this. She loves me, yet all of this is my fault.
Damage. It’s what I cause, what I bring. Strong and powerful, it will encase the few I love and take over. I dip my head to rest it on her forehead, breathing in her scent, trying to hold back my emotions.
But they are coming, like a storm that you were told will pass, yet it pounds you with stinging rain.
“Ryder.” She grabs my face. “I. Am. Okay.” Her sweet breath kisses my lips. Her face, which is ever present in my mind, swims before me.
“I’m not.” I reach for the back of her neck and claim her with my mouth, my tongue demanding, as I take and take. Moaning, she moves closer.
And I am undone.
I jerk her leggings down and she kicks off her bloodstained shoes. Our breathing is harsh as we undress each other.
Lifting her, I carry her into the shower, letting the hot water sting and burn my back while I suck on her neck. With my hands on her tits, I push her back against the tiled wall.
Raising my head, I look at her. Her lips are red and swollen, her face flushed, but it’s her eyes… they show me everything.
Love.
It’s there, all there, seeping out of her and into me. And suddenly I feel almost dizzy, as if this weight I’ve been carrying my whole life has been cleansed from me, the sick poison sucked out and spilling down the drain.
An epiphany?
Maybe. Because everything is clear.
She’s real and alive. My missing piece that I’ve been searching for is finally in place. My eyes caress her exquisite face. She feels it, knows it. Fuck, she’s known it all along; she just wasn’t afraid of it.
And I held back because I was. I’ve spent my whole life running from it. Confronting it with my physical strength to avoid my mental pain. I believed that loving Julianna was a weakness.
I was wrong.
Loving her is what gives me strength. I’m not cursed. I’m not the devil. I’m a man, and I can finally accept that. I take a breath and rub her lips back and forth. She looks deep into my eyes.
This woman is mine. Julianna’s not going to bring me down. She is my force, the reason I was put on this earth.
She touches my cheek and feels it, my pain, my agony, and she takes it all. Flashes of our past and our future swirl together, almost like I’m dreaming. Her hair gleaming in the sun, her laughter—always her laughter—healing me, allowing me to step out of the darkness and into the light.
I lower myself to my knees to worship her, acknowledging what I’ve always known: our souls are entwined for eternity.
I lay my head on her flat stomach. She laces her hands through my hair and I let myself love her.
Love.
This emotion I have for her is greater than a word. It’s spiritual, powerful. It’s the truth that my life is nothing without her. It’s being complete.
But to her… that word is everything.
“I love you.” I look up at her and our universe stops. The world could end, and it wouldn’t matter because this is our moment.
Three little words that seem to have changed everything for her. Three words I thought I’d never say easily flow from my mouth and I’m not destroyed.
I’m fucking stronger than ever.
She brings her hand down to trace my lips as if she can coax the words out of them again. Grasping her leg, I lift it over my shoulder so I can suck on her honey cunt.
Her head falls back against the tile while I lick her swollen nub. Looking up, I watch in fascination as her gorgeous nipples turn red and hard. I let go of her wrist so I can insert two fingers deep, watching her.
“Ryder.” Her voice is breathy as her head rolls back and forth. “Ryder?” It’s a plea, a beg.
I don’t answer her. All I want is to watch her go over, splinter into a million pieces.
“I’m going to…” Her greedy pussy contracts, tightening on my fingers.
“That’s it, beautiful,” I praise her. Not letting her recover, I lift her up. Her legs instinctively wrap around my waist while I thrust into her slick walls.