Bard told me about that. Grandma wanted to keep me in the dark about being a proxy for as long as possible, so I’d be free of worry and enjoy what I could of my life. Unfortunately, he never anticipated that she’d die without telling me. His hands were completely tied. “So Alwar said no to the diamond because he thought Bard would end up breaking his vow to her?”
“He found it difficult to refuse you once. Why not again?”
“So Alwar said no and then?”
“Bardolf crossed over to make his case with Alwar. Alwar finally conceded—for you. But then Bardolf insisted on returning to River Wall to watch over you. He felt obligated after your grandmother’s death.”
“He crossed the bridge and broke the vow,” I mutter. The War People swore not to cross into our world as long as the wall stands, and they protect it. There is no back-and-forth visa.
I cover my face and groan. “He didn’t have to do that.”
“We each make our choices, Lake. Bard made his. Rain made hers. Alwar is no different, and neither are you.”
“But if my grandmother just told me the truth, none of this would’ve happened.”
“Thus the reason Alwar and Rain did not get along. Rain blamed him for evoking the Blood Battle challenge that cost your mother her life. He blamed Rain for being careless and leaving the door to the master bedroom unlocked, thereby allowing your father to follow Storm through the window. Alwar believes Storm would have won the challenge if it were not for your father showing up and distracting her. It cost Alwar his chance to regain the throne.”
Oh my God. This…this is such a fucking cluster. Agendas. Blame. Rules that serve no one. What we really need is an end to all of this. No more Proxy Vow. No more monster wars. They need to figure out how to live without all this death and destruction.
Of course, that’s the human in me speaking. We always think our way is the best way. All I know for certain is that there must be a better way.
“Lake?” Tiago says.
“What?”
“I asked you a favor. Will you grant it?”
My mind reels. “You mean you want me to meet with Bard?”
He nods. “He deserves peace, Lake. We all do. But Bardolf more than others.”
Tiago doesn’t have to explain. Bard was a good, good man. “I’ll meet with him. Of course I will.”
“I would thank you, because I know it is customary in your world, and it will make you feel good, but you are our queen now, so I will simply say good.”
“Yep. Good.”
“And one more thing,” he adds. “You must go to him with an offering, or he will not hear you. The No One part of him is dominant now, and they are a very hungry people.”
I kinda noticed when Bard pulled Dave’s face off. “What sort of offering?”
“A small piece of your body.”
I shudder and jerk back my head. “How small?”
“Blood or a slice of skin.”
“Isn’t there something else I can offer? A toenail clipping? Some spit?”
“You must make an offering of living flesh to quell the beast’s hunger so that Bard may hear you.”
“Bard would never ask me to cut myself for him.”
“What is a tiny bit of skin to give him eternal peace?”
Goddammit. Why is he doing this to me? “How much are we actually talking about?”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
The team of giants rise with the red sun and scrape me reluctantly from the most restful sleep I’ve had in days. Maybe I was tired. Maybe it was knowing a one-ton giant had my back all night. I’m not sure, but I almost feel ready for the day ahead.
Almost.
While the War People eat leftover charred nightmare meat and drink that tuber juice, I swallow a mouthful of protein bar for energy and take in the purple mountains off in the distance. The plants around us look like desert cactus—nopales, agaves, and those spindly chollas you see in old Western movies—but the colors are bright pink and turquoise. They’re stunning. Huge vines with flowers the size of dinner plates wrap around the branches of a wiry lime-green tree to my side. I’m pretty sure that parts of Monsterland came directly from the universe’s dreams. It’s just missing the sparkly unicorns. Utterly surreal.
Tiago rises with a grunt, clearly not a morning person—giant—whatever. He scratches his cropped black hair, rubs a little dirt under his pits, and then whips out his enormous penis and takes a piss right in front of me on a bush that lights up yellow when his urine stream hits it.
Super. I can’t ever unsee that.
Not that I have anything against the male form. I find it extremely attractive. But when a penis is that large (the size and length of a long punching bag), it’s a monster all its own.