Now, it seemed, he had been mistaken in that belief. He was not correct. He was wrong. Entirely so. There was nothing but suffering waiting for him—although part of him now believed that this suffering was well deserved. He knew very well he had done wrong, that he had not acted with honor but yet he had been glad to have escaped it all.
“I am no longer my own.”
The words he spoke aloud wrapped around his heart, leaving him shuddering with a deepening sense of foreboding as he walked back along the pavement, glancing over his shoulder as though the fellow he had been speaking to was lingering there, finally ready to step out into the light. But there was nothing and no-one, leaving him to turn back to his path without any satisfaction. Questions poured into his mind, leaving him all of a tremble as he tried to make his way forward with as much confidence as he had done before. What was it he would be asked to do? What would happen if he obeyed? And just what difficulties might he find himself in thereafter?
You could tell someone.
Shaking his head to himself, he turned his eyes towards the door that he had thought would lead him to a good deal of merriment and contentment, even though he knew now that he would feel no sense of joy or happiness but rather fear and anxiety over what he might be asked to do at any given moment. Sighing, he pulled his hat from his head and climbed the steps into Whites, feeling a sense of relief wash over him as he walked into the warmth of the rooms. At least here, he would not have to face a disembodied voice speaking out towards him from the shadows, would not have to fear the wrath that might thunder down around his shoulders without explanation. Handing his hat and gloves to a waiting footman, he set his shoulders, drew in a long breath and walked a little further into the room. Perhaps all that he feared would come to naught. Perhaps there might be nothing worrisome at all. Perhaps all he had to worry about was the mere threat of what had been said. Perhaps this Season would continue on without anything more coming of it.
Or perhaps everything was just about to come crashing down over him, burying him beneath the weight of his guilt.
All he could do was wait.
Chapter One
“I hear congratulations are to be offered to you!” Robert beamed at his friend, who had gone a gentle shade of pink. “Twins!” he continued, slapping Lord Monteforte hard on the arm, as the man nodded. “And both healthy lads from what I hear.”
“You hear correctly,” Lord Monteforte replied, with a smile. “My lovely wife has done very well.”
“That, she has,” Robert agreed, a touch more solemnly now, aware of the deaths that could come to both mother and child when there were such births. “You must be very proud of her.”
Lord Monteforte’s smile broadened. “I am indeed,” he answered, quietly. “She is quite wonderful and to have blessed me with such a gift is all the more delightful. I confess that I did not want to come to London and would have stayed with her and my sons at my estate, but….” He trailed off, smiling somewhat ruefully now at Robert, “but my dear lady is also a trifle stubborn and insisted that I did not neglect my duties.”
“And for that, I am sure we are all very grateful,” Robert answered, with a chuckle. “I am sure you will be able to return to them soon. How old are they now?”
Lord Monteforte’s expression grew somewhat wistful. “They are but three months of age,” he said, sighing heavily. “When I return, they will be almost six months old!”
“I am sure that you will be able to return to them sooner than that,” Robert said firmly, seeing the wistfulness and realizing just how much Lord Monteforte wanted to go back to his wife and sons. “I know that The King’s League must always continue our work with diligence but that does not mean that you cannot step aside for a short time, especially when you did so much last Season.”
Lord Monteforte chuckled. “That was a very trying time, I admit,” he answered, as Robert grinned. “But I was blessed with a wife of my own and a love between us that has made almost everything else fade to dross.” Sighing, he arched one eyebrow at Robert. “And you yourself, Lord Franks? Have you no eagerness for such a state?”
“A state of matrimony, you mean?” Robert replied, with a wave of his hand. “No, indeed, I do not!” He chuckled, finding himself recoiling at the idea. “To have to take a wife is something that is a requirement, yes, but one that I, at present, shy away from.” As much as he saw the happiness that swirled about his friend and as much as he was glad for his joy and for the blessing of his two sons, there was no eagerness in his own heart to find the same thing. Not after what had happened earlier that year. “I find that I am quite contented to be on my own at present.”
Wanting now to change the subject onto something entirely different, Robert began to speak of some interesting information that had been uncovered of late. During the little Season, there had been three men found to be working together in an attempt to bring shame upon the monarchy in one way or another. However, their plans had been poorly executed and had very little consideration and thus, they had been very easy to bring to a swift conclusion. There had also been the matter of one of the merchant ships going between England and France, where the captain had been discovered to have more loyalty to one side than the other. That too had also been swiftly dealt with, although Robert was not quite certain that the matter was entirely resolved, for some of the ship’s hands had disappeared before they had been able to speak to them about what had been going on.
“Then you have been busy with the League?” Lord Monteforte asked, tilting his head. “I heard that, only last month, you brought a fellow of great importance to justice.”
Robert shrugged. “I had a few men with me,” he said, humbly. “We discovered that a baronet was receiving a great deal of money in exchange for passing on as much information as he could about those he was acquainted with.” He gave Lord Monteforte a grim smile. “Including the nephew of the King.”
Lord Monteforte lifted his eyebrows. “Indeed,” he said, looking a little surprised. “Was there an intention for this nephew?”
“Ransom, mayhap,” Robert replied, remembering how relieved he and the other gentlemen had been when the baronet had been caught knee-deep in his illegal affairs. “All in all, a very satisfactory summer in that regard.”
“Whereas I have had very little to report,” Lord Monteforte said, somewhat heavily. “The estate has required my attention and I have had very little opportunity to –”
“You are a newly married gentleman!” Robert interrupted, not wanting his friend to feel any sort of guilt. “You must not give even a momentary consideration to such things. You have been doing right in giving your attention to your estate and to Lady Monteforte, especially when she was in such a delicate state with her pregnancy. Now you are returned and I am sure that there will be a good many things for us all to consider and examine.” He lifted his brows. “And let us hope that we are successful, for the sake of the Crown.”
The meeting had not yet begun but already Robert was tired. He had spoken to his friends and felt his heart content in the joy of seeing them all again, but there was still a sorrow there that bit hard at him. A sorrow of what had occurred within his own life and his own heart over the last few months, which he had not spoken of to anyone. That was why he knew he could not consider matrimony, not when he had been so close to something, so near to a state of contentment that he had been certain would have brought him a good deal of happiness.
But no, he thought to himself, meandering towards the window and letting his gaze rest on the shadows that flickered this way and that in the dull light. No, he would not pe
rmit himself to be so caught up in his melancholy that he forgot his current responsibilities. He was a part of The King’s League and as such, his duty was to seek out those who sought to harm the Crown, who whispered secrets back to those who wanted nothing more than to conquer England in any way they could. That was all he needed to think on over the next few weeks and months. Mayhap it would take his thoughts away from what had occurred in the past. It might allow his heart to rip free of the confusion and doubt that had plagued him.
And then, his eyes caught something and all thoughts left his head at once. Leaning a little closer, he narrowed his gaze and looked harder out into the gloom, wondering what it was he had seen and why his heart was already slamming out a warning.
“Something wrong, old boy?”
Lord Watt wandered towards him, but Robert did not lift his eyes from the view. “You appear to be –”