CHAPTER 36
Chandra stared at the man appearing as if out of the blue before her. The man who managed to make her feel both this unbearable pain as well as this wonderful delight within her being. The man who made her see the brighter side of life, the one who gave her hope that she was much more than she perceived herself to be, that she deserved someone to love and being loved wholeheartedly and unconditionally in return. But that was all a lie, wasn’t it? It was all in her imagination. Now he was here to clarify that.
She backed away and rushed to stand behind her desk, putting some space between them.
“What are you doing here?” she asked, her voice shaking with emotion.
Sam wouldn’t let her escape him. He followed and stood right in front of her with only the desk separating them. “I’m here to see you.”
Chan glanced away because the intensity of his eyes made her nervous. “Why?”
Sam moved around the desk, caught her arm, and pulled her against him. Chan struggled in his embrace and demanded to be released.
“What are you doing? Let me go, Sam,” she snapped. “I said let me go.”
Sam wouldn’t and scooped her up.
Chan gasped out in shocked surprise. “What are you doing? Put me down, Sam. Put me down now.”
Sam headed across the room and out the door. Chan was still struggling in his arms when he walked past the living room. Dara, Soriya, and Lilly watched the scene before them in disbelief.
“Sam, what are you doing to my sister?” Dara asked, her face pale.
“Chan, are you okay?” Soriya asked with worry.
Chan calmed down when she heard her sisters’ voice. She turned her teary eyes to Soriya, then to Dara, and finally to Lilly.
“Chan, why are you crying?” Lilly asked.
Chan felt a lump in her throat, and her body began to shake uncontrollably.
Sam said, “Can you both babysit Lilly for me this evening?”
The sisters blinked. Then Dara said, puzzled, “Sure. But what are you doing to my sister?”
“We’re going to have a private talk,” he replied. He chuckled when he saw how worried the sisters looked. “Don’t worry. I’m not going to hurt Chandra.”
Dara nodded while Soriya sighed in relief.
Sam turned to Lilly and said, “Sweetheart, you’ll be all right, won’t you?”
Slowly, Lilly nodded.
Sam smiled. “Be a good girl and don’t cause too much trouble for Dara and Soriya, all right.”
Again, Lilly nodded.
He chuckled despite the woman in his arms being in such a panic-stricken state. “Daddy’s going to do to Chan what you suggested to me the other day.”
At that statement, Lilly brightened with delight. “Really?” she asked. When Sam nodded, she jumped with joy. “Yay! Go, Daddy!”
Sam laughed, thanked the sisters again for babysitting Lilly on such short notice, and headed to the door. Chan, teary eyed and in his arms, watched her sisters, at a loss as to what to do.
Lilly grabbed both Dara’s and Soriya’s hand and said, “Let’s have some cake.”
Dara asked, “Where’s your dad taking Chan?”
Lilly happily replied, “To show her how much he likes her.”
Dara and Soriya looked at each other, confused.
* * * * *
In the elevator, Sam finally put Chan down. The moment her bare feet touched the cold floor, Chan made a dash for it. Sam caught her in time, though, and cornered her against the wall to prevent her from escaping.
The door shut, and Sam hastily pushed the ground floor button.
Chan watched him, feeling trapped standing here in the corner of the elevator, him before her, his arms flanked on either side of her, trapping her there.
She licked her lips and asked, “Where are you taking me?”
Sam moved to kiss her forehead. Chan gasped in surprise.
“Somewhere to talk privately,” he explained. His tone was final and demanded no argument.
Chan wasn’t about to argue. More specifically, she couldn’t. She felt so exhausted all of a sudden. After all, she’d been crying her heart out since she got home hours ago, after she’d discovered Sam and Nina together. Once she’d locked herself in her studio, she descended into a state of self-pity and hatred. The fear and loneliness once again enveloped her, confirming her previous belief she was nothing but a little piece of shit people used and trashed, just as Dave had used and trashed her, just as Lisa and Amie had trashed her.
When the door of the elevator dinged open, drawing Chan’s attention back to the present, Sam grabbed her hand. His fingers intertwined with hers tight as he led her toward the exit.
“Put on your seat belt,” he ordered a few moments later when they were in the car. Chan did and then turned her attention to look out the window as the vehicle moved out of the parking lot.
They were silent during the twenty-minute drive. It was only when Sam pulled into an underground parking area that Chan realized they were at The Harrington.
She was about to ask why they were here of all places, but she decided to hush her mouth.
Once again, Sam took her hand and led her to the elevator. There she noted they were going up to the fortieth floor. She wondered if he was taking her to his office. Were they going to talk about their feelings like a business contract? Of course, that was stupid, and she knew it.
The door dinged open, and Chan dreaded what was to come. They were going to have a serious talk after all. She, however, didn’t know what else there was to talk about. He could have just told her, yes, their relationship during the previous few weeks was merely a fling and it was now over and he’d be going into a serious relationship with Nina.
Chan blinked in confusion when they walked past the door to Sam’s office. She was about to tell him so when they came to another, the one next to his office. There Sam swiped his key card and opened the door.
He led her in, and Chan was surprised indeed to find the place was actually a hotel bedroom. No, more like a penthouse.
Conscious that now was the time to get everything over and done with, Chan moved to pull her hand from Sam’s, intending to free herself. He, however, wouldn’t let her go.
“Sam,” she begged.
He wasn’t listening to her. Without a word, he led her through the luxurious living area to the bedroom beyond.
When he shut the door and finally let go of her hand, Chan stared wide-eyed at the place. It was exquisite and full of luxury, a large king-size bed, soft, classic furnishings, sofas and armchairs, plush Persian carpet, marble wall columns, and expensive paintings and art wares. It also had a breathtaking view of the city beyond. It was getting dark now, and the city lights had just begun to flicker on.
When she returned her attention to Sam again, she noticed he’d loosened his tie, and his eyes were dark.
Suddenly, her stomach fluttered and her heart raced. She licked her lips, and before she could utter a word, Sam had her in his arms and his lips against hers. His hand held her tight at the back of her head as his lips hungrily ravished hers.
“Mmm…” Chan groaned as she felt her body warm and melt onto him.
When Sam pulled back, his eyes were even darker, and he had a luscious smile on his face. “I love you, Chan, and I’m going to show you just how much.”
Chan felt her whole body quiver in both shock and delight. She licked her lips. “But—”
He cut her short by kissing her again. His lips were firm and hot. When he managed to tease her lips to open for him, he plunged in his tongue and wildly and passionately explored her.
“Mmm…” Chan groaned. She was so weak and hot, but she felt wonderful.
Still kissing her, Sam bent, picked her up, and carried her to the king-size bed. There, he laid her gently onto the softness of the mattress and kissed her even more passionately.
Chan felt like her world were bursting with this wonderful sensation. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, moaning and groaning, her body writhing beneath his.
When Sam terminated the kiss, moved back, and stared down at her, he noted she was flushing. And damn, she was exquisitely beautiful.
“I love you, Chan,” he said, cupping her face. “What you saw earlier between Nina and me was a misunderstanding. I have no feelings for her. Never have and never will. Ever since Sarah’s death, I’ve never fallen in love with any woman, no one like I’ve fallen for you.” He chuckled as Chan stared up at him, tears in her eyes.
“I think I fell in love with you that first time I saw you at the Thursday Market. I’ve never stopped thinking about you since that day, wondering how the hell I’d ever find you. When I saw you in the club, I knew I was given a chance, and I wasn’t going to let it go to waste.” He rested his forehead on hers and chuckled softly. “Oh, Chan. I want you to know I love you. I want you to know how it hurt right here.” He grabbed her hand and placed it against his chest where his heart was.
Chan spread her palm flat on his muscular chest, feeling the thumping of his heart. She gazed up at him, tears blinding her eyes as she tried to control her emotions.
Sam continued. “It bloody hurt here when I couldn’t see your face. Hell, it feels so wonderful here, too.” He pressed her palm against his heart, his hand warm over hers. “When I see your face… when I see your smile… when I hear your voice… you make me the happiest man alive.”
Chan licked her lips again. “I… I didn’t know.”
Sam chuckled at her blunt statement. “Well, now you know.” He kissed her hard on the lips, telling her just how much he loved her, just how much she meant to him.
When he moved back, he said, “I want you, Chan. Please have a serious relationship with me. You and me together. A couple.”
Chan blinked, and tears rolled down her cheeks. She couldn’t believe it. She just couldn’t. Sam was asking her to be his girlfriend. To be in a serious relationship with him.
“I…” She began. “I might disappoint you.”
Sam shook his head. “You’ll never disappoint me. You’re already wonderful as you are now.”
Chan closed her eyes for a moment. “That’s not it. I… I’m afraid, Sam. I… I have a past. You don’t understand.”
“I don’t care about your past. I love you and I want you. That’s all I care about.”
“What if I’m not pure? What if I’m a freak?”
Sam shook his head. “I’ll take everything: you, your past, your insecurity, and your freakiness.” He chuckled, his eyes twinkling.
Chan felt hope, her heart bursting with wonderful delight.
“I love you, too, Sam.” She confessed. “Since that day at the market. I don’t know why or how. I didn’t even get to see your face properly… I don’t know. I just know I’ve fallen for you. Please, Sam, be patient with me. I’m… I’m so afraid of this.” She kissed him gently on the lips. When she pulled back, her eyes begged him to understand. “I’m so afraid of our passion, of…”
“Sex?”
She nodded. “And love and my past and everything…”
Sam kissed her forehead gently in return. When he was done, he said, “I’m a patient man, Chan. I’m here for you. I want you to trust me.”
Chan stared at him long and hard. She saw
the unconditional love and compassion in his eyes, and her heart swelled with wonder. The feeling of belonging and being loved overwhelmed her so much as she gasped out and buried her face against the crook of his neck.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I’m being silly. I don’t know why I behave like a child.”
Sam cupped her head there against him, a smile on his face. He knew, deep down, this woman he loved was still a child, frightened of something he had yet to find out and craving love. She thirsted for love, and Sam was only too happy and willing to give it to her.
When Chan moved back, Sam said, “I love you, Chan, and I will never hurt you. Trust me.”
Chan nodded. “I trust you.”
It was permission; Sam knew and didn’t hesitate to grab it with both hands.
He kissed her, his lips pressed hard, his tongue wild and passionate exploring in her mouth, showing her just how much he loved her.
Chan groaned, her mind going numb with this exquisite feeling as she let herself go, let herself be made love to by the man she’d been craving since the first day she’d met him.
* * * * *