‘Of course. It would be poor form to turn down a lunch invitation from the woman I’m to marry.’

I move quickly, so the fork to my left clatters to the ground. I wince apologetically and dip down to retrieve it. Per my request, he and I are alone on the balcony, just the two of us—no staff to overhear this very private conversation and, more importantly, no chance of a photographer capturing this moment.

‘That’s what I wished to speak to you about.’

‘The wedding?’ He nods. ‘I suppose it’s time. Your coronation is set for three months?’

I toy with the stem of my wine glass. ‘Yes.’

‘And three months later, we’ll tie the knot?’

A lump forms in my throat. ‘I didn’t know about our engagement until after they’d died.’ I fix my gaze on the view beyond him. The city sprawls beneath us, elegant and ancient.

He shifts his head to the side. ‘My parents told me when I was a teenager. I had been dating a girl, and they felt it fair to prepare me for my future.’

I bite down on my lower lip. ‘I wish my parents had told me in person, but I suppose they thought there wasn’t a need. I would have liked a chance to discuss this with them.’

‘Understandably.’

He’s so nice, so patient. I wish more than anything that I cared for him, but I don’t. At least, not enough. ‘After they died, I became fixated on doing absolutely everything I could just as they would have wished. I imagined them beside me often––heard their praise, feared their disappointment and drew comfort from any opportunity that showed me clearly how they’d wish me to behave.’

My eyes bore into his. ‘Marrying you is something I’ve never questioned, because I know how happy it would have made them. I think that in marrying you it would be a like bringing them back, in some way.’ I shake my head. ‘It’s very hard to explain.’

‘I understand,’ he agrees gently.

And I really think he does. ‘I want them to be proud of me, but lately I’ve come to realise that I can’t ignore my own instincts completely.’

He sips his water, waiting for me to continue.

‘Marrying you because our parents wished it doesn’t make sense. Not any more.’ Santiago’s eyes fill my mind, giving me courage, even when I know the future I’m carving out for myself doesn’t involve him.

‘I’ve always wanted to live my life following the blueprint my parents laid out for me, but I’ve come to understand that doesn’t entail doing everything just as they might have wished. It’s about living with decency and honour, about loving this kingdom and country so much that I always work to make it better and safer, more prosperous, for our people. A blueprint isn’t necessarily about ticking items off a list, but being true to a set of core values, values they drove into me since birth. But it’s also about balance.’

I fold my hands in my lap. ‘I’m not just a princess. I’m a person too. And while my country deserves my best it doesn’t deserve all of me. I can’t marry a man I don’t love, Heydar. No matter how much my parents wished it. I’m sorry.’

His eyes probe mine and I hold my breath, worried he’ll be angry, worried he’ll try to convince me. But after a moment he smiles. ‘Perhaps you’ll fall in love with me over time?’

But he’s joking, or at least not serious.

‘I won’t,’ I respond firmly. ‘I wish I could,’ I add after a moment. ‘But, as it turns out, it’s not possible.’

‘No?’

I shake my head, refusing to be drawn on the matter of Santiago, yet I suspect he understands what I’m not saying.

‘In trying to live my life as my parents would have wished, I think I’ve been ignoring one of their most important lessons—to be true to myself. I can’t go through with it. I’m sorry.’

‘Don’t apologise.’ He stands and moves to the railing, looking down over the view I love so much. ‘I’m surprised, of course. I fully intended our wedding to go ahead. But I respect your decision.’ He turns to face me. ‘I adored your parents, you know.’

My heart skips a beat.

‘Your father was a frequent visitor at our palace. He was a funny, kind man.’

My smile is immediate. ‘Yes, he was.’

‘And I believe you’re right. He would wish you to follow your heart, Freja, and it clearly isn’t leading you to me.’

I shake my head silently.

Tags: Clare Connelly Billionaire Romance
Source: readsnovelonline.net