Always look for the humor in life.
“Bye, Tenn. Give me a call sometime,” the blonde bimbo coos, shoving her number in his pocket, or what I hope is her number. I roll my eyes, seeing her leaving in the slut dress from last night. Her high-pitched voice makes my ears bleed as she tries to be sexy with her makeup running down her face.
“You got it,” Tenn says, giving his fake ass smile. What a fucking player. I could recite everything he says, I’ve heard it so many times before.
It’s always the same thing with him. He meets a chick, bangs her, and moves on. I don’t even think he would know what to do with a woman out of the bedroom. Unfortunately, we share a bedroom wall so I know all too well he knows what he’s doing in there. I sleep with fucking earmuffs on most of the time.
“Nice meeting you,” squeaky girl directs toward me.
I don’t even bother to say anything, just give her a quick wave as I sip my coffee. Tenn gives his final line of ‘I’ll be out of town for work for a while, but I’ll be in touch when I can’ and she leaves. He plops down on the couch next to me and wraps his arms around my shoulder.
“You’re full of sunshine and roses this morning,” he says, knocking his shoulder against mine.
“You’re full of shit this morning.” I turn my head, raising an eyebrow.
He laughs, shaking his head and causing his messy brown hair to fall in his eyes. “Regan Banks, are you jealous?”
This time I toss my head back laughing. “Tennyson Stephens, not if you were the last man on earth.”
Smiling, he gets up to grab himself a cup of coffee, while I pull my legs up under me and flip the TV on. Just as I find a rerun of Friends, Tenn sits in the chair and grabs the remote and changes it.
“Come on, asshole, I’m watching that.”
“How many times have you seen that episode?” he questions with a smirk on his dumb ass face.
“I’ve never seen that one,” I lie.
He sips his coffee around the grin on his face. “You’re full of shit. Anyway, what are your plans today?”
“Having lunch with Holly, and then tonight a few of us are hitting a few bars.” I finish off my coffee and look over at him. “What about you?”
I don’t know why I bother to ask. Tenn and I grew up together in the bustling city of Los Angeles. We lived next to each other since we were eight-years-old and quickly became best friends. We’ve done everything together, some things I wish I could erase from my memory. Like when we were thirteen and I walked in on him jerking off, Christ my mom had to hide the bleach because I wanted to dump it in my eyes. Or like the time he begged me to be the third wheel on his first date and I reluctantly agreed. I regretted it twenty minutes into the movie when he had his tongue down her throat and she was moaning his name. That wasn’t so bad, but when I looked over and saw him feeling her up, I almost puked. The best would have to be when we first moved into this little house. He went out with the guys, and I was so excited to have the place to myself. We’d finally gotten out from under our parents’ roof, and I intended to make the most of my night. I watched a sexy movie, alright it was porn, and I was so turned on. Of course, I was spread eagle on the couch, and Tenn walked in. People say they have died of embarrassment, I believe that. I still think I died for at least five seconds that night. I shudder with those memories and remember what I was thinking to begin with. Tonight, Tenn is going to go out with the guys, have a few drinks and bring home yet another blonde.
“Regan, seriously when was the last time you had sex?” he blurts out, staring me down with his green eyes.
Tucking my red hair behind my ears, I hold his stare. “What the fuck does that have to do with anything?”
He jumps over to the couch and faces me. “It has everything to do with everything.”
“Seriously, Tenn, that makes no fucking sense. Having sex has nothing to do with going out tonight,” I say, trying to push down the embarrassment I feel.
“That’s the problem. You should be going out and looking for someone, but you aren’t. You go out, get drunk, and come home alone. Have I taught you nothing?” he says, grinning.
Folding my arms across my chest, I take a deep breath. “First of all, I don’t want a one-night stand, you fucking man whore. Therefore, there is nothing you could teach me. Secondly, most of the men I meet are losers, and I don’t have time for that crap. So, thanks for your concern, but I’m all good.”
He stands up and flexes his muscular, tattooed arms, smiling at me. “You see these guns? This is what women want.”
Holding back a laugh at how damn ridiculous he looks, I nod my head. “Oh, no shit. I had no idea I should be looking for the gun show.”
“You’re missing the point,” he says, annoyed.
This time I do laugh, pulling my hair into a ponytail. “What is the point exactly?”
“You aren’t looking because if you were, you’d notice.”
“Tenn, I’m losing what little patience I have. What the fuck are you trying to say?”
He sits back down, annoyance clear on his face. “Regan, you aren’t looking for the right guy. You go after these losers and nothing happens.”