Perfect Tenn

“Right. Tomorrow you are going out with Ted, great guy. So, I thought we’d go over some things. Remember how I told you to look for all the signs a guy gives off when the date is going nowhere?” I nod. “Good, well now I figured we can go over things you can do to help that not to happen.”

I turn my body toward him, paying attention. “Okay, like what?”

“Well first of all, don’t bring up the future. It scares us. We have a hard time figuring out what we want for dinner, never mind where we will be thirty years from now. Also, don’t say shit like, my mom would love you or my friends have to meet you. We don’t care about your mom or friends yet. We want to get to know you, not your family. Now, it’s different if he asks about your parents’; you can obviously talk about them, but don’t say they want him over for dinner or some shit.”

He shoots me a pointed look then leans into the couch and props his ankle up over his knee. “No need to tell him your life goals, your dream home, or how many kids you want. Not unless you want to see a hole in the wall the shape of his body. Do not ask about past relationships. Way too early to ask when the last time they had sex was or how did their last relationship end. Keep it general—your favorite movie, you’re a cat person, Christmas is your favorite holiday. Shit like that,” he tells me.

I let it all sink in for a minute before closing my book. “You know for a guy who doesn’t date, you have a lot of great advice.”

He laughs and gets up. “I may not date, but I know what I want.”

“Hey, wait a minute,” I say, stopping him from racing off. He turns on his heel and lifts his eyebrow in response. “Why haven’t you brought anyone home?”

Shoving his hands in his jean pockets he shrugs. “No reason. I’m heading to bed. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Night,” he dismisses and goes off to his room.

I’d like to try to figure him out, but instead I pick up my book and continue living in a world of fantasy.

**

“Holly, please just call me and make sure the date is going good. I can’t deal with one like last time,” I plead with her over the phone.

She lets out a sigh like I’ve asked her to drive states away through a hail storm, up to the top of a mountain to rescue me. It’s a damn phone call from her couch. “Fine,” she breathes out annoyingly.

“Don’t be such a bitch, I’d totally do it for you,” I say, stepping into my red heels.

“I know, I guess I’m just jealous,” she admits.

Sitting down in front of my mirror, I apply my red lipstick, tucking my straight hair behind my ear. “What the hell could you possibly be jealous of? My lack of a sex life? The non-existent social life I have, meaning the four-year-olds in our class have more fun on the weekends. Or hey wait, is it the constant sex talks from my parents’?”

“Oh please. You live with probably the sexiest man to walk the earth. You could have him in your bed with the snap of your fingers. I take offense to you saying you have no social life. We just went out last weekend. As for your parents’, they are fucking awesome. I wish my parents’ were like them,” she comes back with.

She’s right about one thing, Tenn is probably one of the sexiest men I’ve ever seen. If we weren’t best friends, I would have tried hooking up with him years ago. A knock on my bedroom door pulls my thoughts out of the gutter, and I look to the noise on instinct.

“Alright, I need to go. Please just call me in an hour,” I say and hang up.

“Come in.” I stand up and shove my phone into my purse, making sure the volume is all the way up.

“You ready yet, Regan.” Tenn walks over to me and moves my hair out from behind my ear, before looking down at my black and white dress. He taps his finger on his chin raking his eyes over my entire body. “You need to change.”

I dip my brows in confusion and look down at myself before looking up at him. “What? Why?”

He’s already walking toward my closet and opens the door. “Trust me.” He shuffles the racks around, plundering through my wardrobe.

“Come on, Tenn, I like this dress. It’s fun and flowy.” I twist, displaying my dress with a smile on my lips.

Walking out of my closet, he tosses a pair of jeans and a tank top on the bed. “Put that on,” he instructs.

“You can’t be serious? You want me to change out of this beautiful dress and put on something I go food shopping in? Why?” I ask, annoyed.

He looks at his watch and back up at me. “Because Ted will be in a t-shirt and jeans. If you wear that getup, you will look ridiculous.”

Pissed off, I grab the clothes off the bed and go stand in the closet to change. I reach behind me to unzip the dress, and of course, it’s stuck. Why wouldn’t it be? I pull and yank, then try twisting it around so I can see what I’m doing, but I’m just tangling it around me. Ugh, what the fuck! “Tenn,” I whine.

He comes over to the closet and laughs when he sees me twisting in a circle like a fucking dog chasing its tail. “What the hell are you doing?”

I stop spinning and pout my lip out. “I’m stuck in this thing. Can you please try to unzip it for me?”

“Turn around,” he says, putting his hands on my shoulders. He works at the zipper and finally gets it free, pulling it all the way down to my ass. Slowly he runs his hands from the soft skin of my inner wrists to my shoulders, sending goose bumps all over my body. “You can take it off now,” he breathes in my ear.