“First of all, she’s my friend, not my photographer. Secondly, I’m not interested, so excuse me.” I go to move around her but she steps in front of me. She reaches out and drags her fingers down my chest, stopping at the top of my jeans. She keeps her hand there and looks at me with lust clear on her face.
“Oh, I think you are interested. As a matter of fact, I think I know you are. If you weren’t, you wouldn’t allow me to be this close to you, touching you.” She looks behind her before facing me again. “Your friend looks well entertained, why don’t we go entertain each other? You look like you could use a release.” It’s tempting, so fucking tempting. She has a point; if I wanted to get away from her, I easily could. I look over at Kallie and Brody talking and back at this half-dressed woman in front of me. “What do you say, Jax?” She moves her hand the slightest bit down, closer to my cock, and pushes herself up against me again. Fuck, the idea of actually having her legs wrapped around me is becoming more inviting. I look over at Kallie again, and she throws her head back laughing, just like the first time I ever laid eyes on her. What the fuck. I step around this woman, who would be in my bed in a heartbeat, and head back over to the one whom I don’t stand a chance with.
A few hours later when the party has dwindled down, the remainder of us are hanging around the fire pit. I’ve turned down woman after woman tonight. Never have I done that before, and it makes me question exactly what I’m feeling here. I am starting to think it is more than just physical attraction. I haven’t taken my eyes off her all night. She is having a great time, talking with my friends and Brinley, who finally showed up. It has kept a constant smile on my face. I take a sip of my beer, and it hits me, son of a bitch, I think I’m starting to have feelings for her.
“Well look who went to bed alone last night.” I shake my head at Blake as I pour myself a cup of coffee. “Why are you doing this, brother? You are holding on to this fantasy that you are going to be able to get her? She’s made it clear that will never happen.” He hops up on the counter and shoves the rest of his egg sandwich in his mouth.
“Blake, it’s not that simple.” I’m still trying to figure out my feelings myself. I’m not about to tell him. He rides my ass enough as it is.
“Brother, it is that simple. You are attracted to her, but that shit isn’t going to happen. There are a sea of women that are more than willing to spend a night with you. Let it go, be friends if you want, but leave it at that. You don’t need to keep looking like a pussy.” He’s pissing me off more and more with every word.
“You think I don’t know that? You think I haven’t been telling myself the same fucking thing? I have, but damn it, I can’t help myself.” He shakes his head and sips on his coffee. I’m usually the one giving the advice, the levelheaded one. I don’t like when roles are reversed.
“You need to get laid my friend. That is what will help you. If there is one thing I know about, it’s sex. Fuck her out of your thoughts.” It’s fucked up, it’s a horrible idea, but maybe that is exactly what I need to do. Maybe the only way to stop these feelings is to be with a woman, to think about someone else, even if it’s only for a few hours.
“Don’t you fucking dare.” I spin around and see Brody standing there. What the hell? It’s like some stupid ass, low budget movie.
“You stayed last night? What did I miss?” He gets a bottle of water out of the fridge and sits down at the table.
“You didn’t miss anything. I had a few too many beers, so I slept on the couch. I got up this morning and went for a run. I came in on the brilliant advice Blake here is trying to give you.” Blake looks at him with shock on his face.
“Hey, I’m just trying to do what’s right for my friend. She’s leading him on, and that’s fucked up.” Brody finishes off his water and throws the empty bottle at him.
“You’re a fucking idiot. She’s not leading him on. She told him from the get-go that she wasn’t going to be with him. He knew that when he decided to do the friend thing. After talking to her last night, I can tell she’s confused. She didn’t say that, but it was the way she was talking about him. If he fucks another girl to get Kallie out of his system, he’ll never stand a chance with her.” Blake stands up and goes over to Brody.
“I’m not the fucking idiot here. He is letting her string him along. He’s one of the most popular models out there; he can have anyone he wants. Why should he sit around waiting on something that may never happen?”
“SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP!” They both turn and look at me. “You are both talking like I’m not standing right here. I don’t need either of you deciding what is right for me. I’m perfectly capable of doing that myself. You both need to mind your own fucking business.” I throw my cup in the sink and head into the bathroom for a long overdue shower. After I’m done, I get dressed, grab my keys, and go for a drive. I need to clear my head. Both of them are right, and it’s confusing as fuck. I know that if Kallie gave us a chance, she’d see how great it could be, but will that ever happen? Is there even a chance of it happening? I punch the steering wheel a few times before heading to the beach.
I get out and go sit on the rocks. Why the fuck am I being such a damn pussy here? It’s like I’m turning into someone I don’t even know. Never have I chased after a girl, not even in high school. What is it about Kallie that makes her so different? She’s beautiful, smart, funny, talented, and committed to her work. She loves her family and her friends. She understands this world we are both a part of. Plus, she drunk dialed me telling me she was attracted to me. But is that it? Is that why I feel so connected or attracted to her? Or is it the idea of the chase, the challenge?
I sit fo
r hours just watching the waves crash onto the shore, no closer to figuring out what the hell I’m doing. I pull out my cell phone and text Blake. I ask him if he wants to go grab a drink, and he’s more than willing. I’m done trying to figure shit out, so I’ll go get drunk.
I AM SO DAMN EXCITED for my shoot today. I’m finally doing one with Jax. It took a while for our schedules to allow it, but today is the day. It’s been two weeks since the party at his place, and we’ve hung out a few times. Jax seemed a bit different the first time I talked to him after the party, and when I asked him what was up, he just told me it was nothing. I wanted to push, but he changed the subject and seemed perfectly fine after that, so I didn’t see the point. Things between us have been fun and relaxed, and that’s exactly how I want it.
I finished setting up for the shoot, and I’m on pins and needles waiting for him to get here. The photos from the beach shoot have been a huge success. I have sold several of them, and of course, people are asking for more of Jax, so this will be a great thing for both of us. I am sitting on the couch playing on Facebook when there is a knock at the door. My stomach drops, and I shake my head, thinking how ridiculous I am. I open the door, and there he is, looking so incredibly hot. “Hey. Come in.” He gives me that grin and walks in. I close the door, and he follows me to the couch. “Are you ready for this? Normally, I just get right to it, but I wanted to make sure you are ready.” He rests his foot on his knee and looks at me with a serious expression.
“Why wouldn’t I be ready?” I feel my face flame with embarrassment. He’s right, why wouldn’t he be ready. I feel like a fool if I say that it’s because he is attracted to me.
“Umm, because we’ve never shot one-on-one before. I just want to make sure you are comfortable.” He stands up, pulls his shirt over his head, and throws it on the couch. Oh fuck, this is going to be harder than I thought. I already feel my pussy getting wet.
“I think I’m good. Come on, let’s do this.” I don’t even say anything. I just nod my head. We get into the studio, and I feel at home. My nervousness disappears and I feel relaxed.
“Alright, let’s start with some shots by the backdrop. A few with your shirt on . . .” I look at him, and he laughs as he pulls it over his head. “And then we will do some without a shirt, then without pants. Sound good?” He makes his way over to the black backdrop and stands in front of it.
“Yep, sounds good.” For the next half hour, I take several different shots of him with and without his shirt. He’s such a natural. I don’t need to give much instruction at all for what I want. The next part will be a little harder for me I think.
“Jax, I want you to undo your jeans and let them hang open for a few shots before you take them off.” He winks at me and slowly unbuttons them before pulling down the zipper even more slowly. At least it all seems to be in slow motion to me, but shit, maybe I’m wrong. I hold up my camera and begin shooting. He gives the perfect expressions with every shot, and I’m excited to move on. “Alright, pants off.” He laughs as he slides them off.
“Not the way I pictured you asking me to take my pants off, Kallie.” As much as I want to smack him for taking it there, I can’t help but laugh.
“You wish. Ready?” He nods and gets right back into the serious model he is.
I have him move over to the bed and do a ton of shots on it. I’m standing over him snapping away while his hands are dangerously close to his cock. A cock I can tell just from seeing him in his tight, gray underwear is huge. I shake my head slightly and focus on the shoot. I climb off the bed and have him put his arms under his head and turn slightly to me. The seductive look on his face will be melting the panties off every woman who sees this. Shit, it has mine pretty wet. This never, ever, happens to me, and I’m not sure it’s a good thing. I don’t like the idea of being turned on while doing a shoot. It feels wrong. What makes it worse is that I am going to have him completely naked in just a few minutes to finish the shoot. I need to get myself under control here. After taking a few more shots like this of him, I know I need to do it. I clear my throat and smile at him. “Now I’m going to ask you to remove your underwear. We will do this several different ways. I want a few on the bed first, and then we will finish up in the bathroom for some shower shots and tub shots. I’ll go grab you a towel while you remove them.” I quickly go into the bathroom and get a big white towel for him to use when moving to the bathroom. I take a few deep breaths before heading back out. When I get there, he is lying completely naked in the bed, and my eyes go right to the most amazing cock I have ever seen. I knew he was going to be big, but holy fuck. He’s completely shaven, making it that much more inviting. What the fuck? I need to focus here. “So let’s start with you lying on your back and the sheet draped over your . . . ummm . . .” Holy fuck, I can’t speak. I’m just staring like a fool. Say something, you twit, why can’t I say cock, or dick, or shit, manhood.
“My cock?” I snap my head to his, and he is smiling with absolute delight. Asshole.