I blow out a breath and rub my hands softly on her back. “I know it wasn’t. I’m sorry. Listen to me, and I mean, really listen. I know you don’t want to talk about your past. Why? I have no idea. I don’t know how to keep it from haunting you if I don’t know what it is. All I can promise you is that I will never ever let anything happen to you. If your world starts to fall apart, I’ll be right there to pick it up. I will hold onto you while it crumbles around us before I let anything happen to you. You have my word. I’m not going anywhere, not when things are great, and especially not when things are bad. You’re scared your world will come crashing around you, but London, you are my world. I lose you, I lose everything.” For the first time ever, I feel her body shake, and she grabs me tighter. She’s crying.
“There is just so much and now the thing that scares me most is losing you.”
I push her back a bit so she can see me. I reach up with one hand and wipe her tears away before kissing her softly. “What did I just say to you? I just said I’m not going anywhere. You are my world, my whole world, London. Don’t you understand that? Don’t you understand that I’ve never in my life felt the way I feel with you? That you are the only person that has ever made me understand what it was like to love someone other than myself.” She sucks in a breath and stares at me with wide eyes. I smile and kiss the tears running down her cheeks. “London Tweed, I love you.” She starts crying harder, and I hope it’s happy tears this time. I’m a little out of my comfort zone right now, so I have no idea.
“Oh my God, Blake, I love you too.” I have never felt what I feel right now. This feeling of love, compassion, and even acceptance is unreal. I slam my mouth to hers, and we both moan when our tongues meet. This girl has turned my world upside down and inside out, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. This is the happiest I’ve been in my life, and I’ll be damned if anyone is going to take that away from me.
We break the kiss and stare at each other. She laughs lightly when I wipe her tears again and I kiss her soft lips. She grins at me, but the excitement of just declaring our love to each other is gone, replaced by fear. “Blake, what if I tell you everything and it changes things? What if you don’t want me anymore?”
“London, there have been three people in my life that I ever said I love you to. My parents and Jax. My parents may not be the greatest, but they are my parents and I will always love them. Jax, I love him like any brother loves their brother. I’ve only said I love you to them and now you. When I love someone, it isn’t just for now, it’s forever. I don’t care if you told me you killed someone, I’ll still love you.” She pushes up on her toes and kisses me with the most incredibly sweet kiss we’ve ever shared. She’s thanking me without saying it. When we pull apart, I move her wet hair off her face. “Are you better now?”
She smiles at me and kisses my chest. “Yes. I feel like screaming to the world that you love me.” She laughs, but shit, I’m going to do just that. I’m ripping a page right out of Jax’s book, but I’ll tell her about it first. “I love how you can make my shit mood change so drastically,” she says and I smile, so fucking glad I told her, but also so happy that she’s not sad anymore.
“You ready to eat breakfast now? We still have a lot to do and I need to shower.” She shakes her head and we walk to the door. I glance down at her and smile. “Hey, you didn’t really kill someone, did you?” She bursts out laughing, yelling no. Thank God.
After we eat breakfast, I take a shower while London does her hair and makeup. When I get out, she’s standing at my bedroom mirror blow-drying her hair. It’s flying all over the place, kind of like my feelings. I’m stuck on what happened to her in college. I know if she doesn’t tell me, it’s going to eat me alive. I just don’t know how to get her to talk about it without her either flipping shit or crying. I shake my head before I reach around her to get my clothes out of the drawer. She smiles at me through the mirror and I smack her ass. She laughs and I drop my towel to pull my boxers on. She keeps her eyes focused on my cock until it is covered. She turns off the blow dryer and puts it down on the dresser.
We keep eye contact through the mirror as I make my way to her. I wrap my arms around her from behind and rub my thumbs on her stomach. “See something you like?” She bites her cheek and nods her head. “Well, we need to get going soon, but I promise you, tonight after everyone leaves, I’ll show you just how much I love you.” She drops her head back on my chest and closes her eyes. Damn, I want to taste her right now, but I know if I start, we will never get out of here, and it’s now already noon. “Tonight, baby.” I run my hands up her body and turn her head back to me. I kiss her, letting the promise of tonight stay on her lips.
***
I don’t know who she thinks is coming over, but the amount of food she bought at the grocery store will feed people for a week. I wanted to pay for it, but she kicked me, yep, kicked me, so to avoid further humiliation, I put my wallet away. After that, we went to her place because she said she needed to clean and get the food going. I told her I would mow the lawn, so that’s what I’m doing now. Sweating my ass off, mowing the lawn. Her backyard is really great. It’s fairly large with a patio, table and chairs, and a big lawn. A big lawn that is taking forever to mow. I found the perfect spot for the fire pit, right in front of the patio. I should have thought to grab chairs to put around it, but I’ll have Jax bring a few.
When I’m finally done, I put the lawnmower back in the garage and grab the fire pit out of my truck. I open it out front so she doesn’t see me and throw the box into the garage before closing it. I lift it up, surprised how heavy it is, and carry it around back. I set it up and run back to my truck to grab the few bundles of wood I brought. I put a few pieces in and grin at how it looks. I go inside, thankful for the cool air of the house, to get London.
She’s vacuuming and I shake my head. Her house is always clean, so I don’t know why she’s going to all this trouble. I go over to the outlet and pull the plug. “Hey, what the hell?” She turns around to see what happened, and I hold up the plug. “Blake, I need to finish this so I can start my salads. Please plug it back in.”
I smile and drop the plug to the floor. “First come with me.” She raises her eyebrows and I laugh. “It’s not sex. I told you that’s tonight. Just come with me for a minute.” She pushes the vacuum upright and comes toward me. I take hold of her hand and lead her outside. She stops dead in her tracks when she sees the fire pit and looks up at me.
“You got me a fire pit?”
I kiss her lips and lead her closer. “Yes, I got you a fire pit. You said you were worried there was nothing fun for anyone, so I thought this would make you feel better.” She totally surprises me when she jumps up and wraps her arms around my neck and presses her lips to mine. I hold her up with my hands on her ass and kiss the hell out of her.
She finally pulls back, smiling. “Thank you so much. It was so sweet of you.”
I kiss her quickly and put her on her feet. “Anything to make you smile, baby.”
***
After a long day of getting ready for tonight, it is finally here. Jax and Kallie are here and so are Shannon and Brody. We’re waiting for Brinley, Max, and Braden. London has had a constant smile on her face, enjoying every second. I’m at the grill, putting on the steaks, and everyone else is inside. I put the last steak on and close the grill.
Jax comes out and hands me a beer. “Thanks, brother.” He motions with his head for me to follow him over to the table and we sit down. “What’s up?”
“Nothing. I’m checking on you. We haven’t had much time to talk, just the two of us.”
I sip my beer and grin at him. “We a bunch of chicks now?” He rolls his eyes, shaking his head. “I’m kidding. Things are good…great, actually. I, umm, I told her I love her.”
He gets the biggest smile on his face and taps my beer. “I’m happy for you
, brother, I really am. You deserve to have love in your life.”
Jax knows just how shitty it was for me, because it was the same for him. We both have experimented with drugs and got in with the wrong crowd, and had it not been for Brody, we’d both be in jail. Jax was better than I was, though. I was selling drugs and stealing. It was only a matter of time before I was caught. I didn’t even see anything wrong with what I was doing, because everyone we hung out with did the same shit. I liked having money and not working for it. Being able to get anything I wanted, be with anyone I wanted. I was sucked into the lifestyle. I made sure Jax was right there with me, even when he didn’t want to be. We both were arrested when I dragged him along on one of my deals, and Brody bailed us both out. He told us if we didn’t get our shit together, he’d leave us next time, and I knew he would. When the judge only gave us community service and probation because it was our first offense, Brody said he’d let us work for him, but he made the probation officer give us random drug tests. He knew if we failed, we’d go back to jail. We’ve both been straight since, and I’ve apologized a million times to Jax for dragging him along that night. I tried to call my parents that night, but they hung up on me. They didn’t even have money for the collect call. I’ve only spoken to them a handful of times since. Brody and Jax are my family and now London. So Jax is right, I do deserve love.
I glance behind me at the door to make sure no one is coming out and look back at Jax. “Honestly, I get pissed when she won’t tell me about college. She circles around it and it makes me so angry. I don’t understand what is so bad that she won’t tell me.”
He slaps my arm and smiles. “Women are hard to understand. I still don’t understand why Kallie doesn’t want to live together, but sometimes it’s better to just leave it alone. The more we push, the more they pull away. I’d rather have her close to me.”
Damn, he has a good point. “When the fuck did you get so smart?” We both laugh and he lights a cigarette.