Gemma
The forest wasquiet as Sloane, Mercedes, and I descended down the hillside with the fire disappearing behind us. The bushes rustled with the wind, and for the first time, I didn’t feel the inkling of panic poking from behind. I was safe. I knew I was safe. I wasn’t running for my life from Richard, and I wasn’t allowing myself to cave in to the past that I pushed away.
I felt it brimming the surface. I recognized it prickling the sides of my brain, but instead of pushing it away and pretending it didn’t exist, I allowed myself to see it, feel it, and dismiss it. All because I knew I was safe. I was with Sloane and Mercedes, two girls that welcomed me into St. Mary’s and hadn’t judged me once. The two girls that had made me feel better when I was hurt over Isaiah’s actions, even if they didn’t know all the details. They were my friends, and they cared for me, just like I cared for them.
Isaiah was giving me something tonight, and maybe he didn’t even mean to, but he was gifting me a normalcy I so desperately craved. It was a nice pause on everything else, and I was enjoying it. I was enjoying him. Us. I was enjoying the laughter and the easy conversation without fear, regret, or dread lingering, and it made me feel strong. It was like he knew I needed this moment to heal what had been broken last week.
“Let’s go this way,” Sloane whispered, veering us off the worn, dirt path and into an area that was crowded with bushes and trees.
Mercedes and I followed closely behind, and once we were tucked underneath a tall pine tree, we placed our backs against the large stump and watched through the spaced out branches for the guys to finally wander through. If they wandered through. How they’d find us in this large forest was beyond me, but I knew eventually they’d show up.
“I cannot believe what Shiner said to me.” Mercedes sighed agitatedly and pulled her knees up to her chest. “What a dick.”
Sloane laughed. “He just wants in your pants.”
“Maybe because there isn’t anyone else to feed his ego. He has never even spoken to me in class. It’s like I’m invisible to most of the guys in this school.”
I peeked forward. “Did you bend down in front of him like he said? To grab your pencil?”
Her lips pursed together as she nodded. “I didn’t even think about it.”
“Then you’re not invisible. He probably hasn’t pursued you because he knows you’re not like the other girls here.”
Her eyes dropped. “What do you mean?”
I smiled. “You’re nice, Mercedes. You’re kind and pretty.” I shrugged, calling it how it was. “He probably feels intimidated by a girl like you. You’re not the type to pull your skirt up for a little bit of attention from a guy like him. You have depth. Anyone can see that.”
Sloane nodded. “It’s true. He knows you’re too good for him.” She paused before adding, “And you are.”
I laughed. “And the same goes to you, Sloane.”
She shook her head. “That’s not true. I’m not nice. I think most boys are afraid of me because I don’t put up with their shit. Not even the Rebels.”
We all laughed and discussed how different we all were. It was true. We were all so different, yet we somehow fit together perfectly. They were both really good friends, and I knew my heart would form a tiny gap in it when I left them behind without even a note.
“I’m going to miss you two.” I froze the second the words left my mouth. Wait. Shit.
“What?” Sloane asked, glancing over at me. Her hair was pushed behind her ear, and she gave me a skeptical look. “You mean, like, when we graduate?”
I nodded quickly, glancing away. Maybe tonight relaxed me a little too much. “Yeah, that’s what I meant. You and Mercedes are planning on going to an Ivy League, right? Didn’t you two already apply?” To be honest, I hadn’t really been keeping up with everyone and their college plans. It was never an option for me, so when it was brought up, I usually shut down and detached.
Mercedes blew breath out of her mouth. “Yeah, but that does not mean we will get in.”
“Sure you will,” I answered. I had faith that they both had exciting new adventures waiting for them after high school. Me on the other hand... I couldn’t even see past next week.
“What are your plans?” she asked me as Sloane stayed quiet, seemingly lost in her thoughts. “Art school? Didn’t you say that Mrs. Fitz talked to you about putting together a portfolio for one of the schools she was connected with?”
She did, and the entire time we were talking, I felt my heart sinking to the floor.
“Yeah, we’re working on it,” I lied.
“That would be amazing, Gemma. You’d do so good. It’s, like, all she talks about during art class. You’re not even in my class, and she pulls out your work as an example nearly every day.”
My cheeks heated, and pride went through me. Mrs. Fitz was constantly pushing me to do more and to create things for my portfolio. I was certain she thought that was what I was doing when she’d given me permission to use the art room any time I wanted—within normal curfew times, of course. Except, it wasn’t. Not really, anyway. I didn’t plan on showing anyone what I’d drawn. Ever.
“Shh,” Sloane shushed us, and my thoughts scattered. Excitement bubbled in my belly at the thought of Isaiah’s hands wrapping around my waist again. Last night had been on my mind the entire day, and I wanted to ask him more about what went on through his head last night as he ran his mouth and hands over parts of my body that were only ever touched once before, but he had a way of distracting me, and I did exactly as he wanted. I pushed the tough stuff away and focused only on the present moment.
And it felt good to do that. It felt good to be in the moment with him. It always had.
“Listen to them,” Sloane whispered above a soft laugh as we listened to the guys arguing about which way to go.
Mercedes bent her head to ours. “We should split up, confuse the hell out of them, and then sneak up when they least expect it.”
“Yes! Let’s do it. Girl power, baby.”
I silently laughed at Sloane, and then the three of us crept out from underneath the tree with the smell of pine flowing through my nose and into my lungs. Sloane went straight, Mercedes went to the left, and I slowly trotted to the right. I had no idea where I was going, and I really didn’t want to venture off too far because, now that I was alone, I was afraid things would start surfacing that I didn’t want. Although I felt lighter now than I had in weeks, there was still an edge of caution always present.
I tip-toed toward a large tree in the middle of a large opening and paused, looking up to the sky. A tiny smile stretched on my lips when I realized where I was.
I turned slowly, my hands coming down by my sides that were completely swallowed by Isaiah’s large jacket. It smelled like him, and I breathed in the clean scent of his body wash and cologne. It reminded me of safety and something wildly tempting.
I knew exactly where I was in the forest.
I was in the same spot he had brought me to the night of the pep rally bonfire, when he’d told me about his little brother, Jack. It was the first time I saw Isaiah as vulnerable, and it was then that I realized he was just as human as I was.
Closing my eyes, I inhaled his scent, tipping my head up to the stars. Leaving him was going to be hard. Necessary. But hard. So hard. I didn’t want to leave, and that hurt even worse. It wasn't supposed to be like this. I was supposed to be running from Richard and healing myself in the process from everything that I’d seen and been through, but instead of healing myself, I was leaving with an even bigger broken heart.
“You were supposed to stay with Mercedes and Sloane. It’s a good thing I found you.”
I shrieked, snapping my head back down as my entire body tensed.
I tipped back, glancing into Isaiah’s dark eyes before moving down to his mouth. My heart came to life, and the thoughts of a broken heart left. I knew, without a doubt, that I’d never feel this way again. There was no way something like this ever came twice. The feeling he inflicted in me when our eyes connected wasn’t even a word in the dictionary. We were connected, bound by something neither he nor I could ever name. The two of us were thrown together by fate only to be pulled apart in the end by things that were out of our control.
I spun around in Isaiah’s grasp and wrapped my hands around his strong neck, pushing my fingers into his hair and bringing our faces closer. He kissed the tip of my nose gently, and I shut my eyes, feeling him everywhere.
“Even when you’re far away from here, I’ll never stop looking for you.” His lips moved over my mouth. “I will find you, Gem.”
I didn’t wait for him to kiss me. Instead, I kissed him. I kissed him hard, like it was the last time I’d ever kiss him. His grip on my body grew tighter as I slipped my tongue into his mouth, exploring and tasting, trying to memorize everything about this moment. I quickly pulled back and grabbed onto his hand, pulling him farther into the forest with his hooded gaze questioning me from behind.
“What are you doing?
I smirked, feeling bolder than ever. “Do you remember the last time we were in this part of the forest?”
Desire swam inside my veins, and I felt drowned by the need to feel his hands on me. Maybe it was the small amount of vodka that was making me so adventurous, or maybe it was the fact that I knew my time with him was coming to an end. Don’t think, Gemma. Just do.
Isaiah’s tongue darted out as he planted his feet, pulling me into him instead of the other way around. “I remember every moment with you.”
A giddiness had me jumping up into his arms, and he quickly caught me, wrapping my legs around his middle. I felt so light in his grip, and with the way his mouth curved into a devious grin, I knew he enjoyed having me there just as much as I did.
He pushed himself into my middle, and my eyes widened. “Tell me what you want, Gemma. What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours? I’d love to get in there and see everything you’re thinking. You have been a mystery since day one.”
His eyes bounced back and forth between mine as he continued moving through the wooded area, surely coming up to the same tree that he had me up against the first time we’d come down here. In fact, I didn’t care what tree it was. He could have me anywhere.
“Do you want me to make you come again?” His hoarse whisper was like the tree bark rubbing against my skin. “Is that what you want? To feel what you felt last night?”
I thought for a moment, taking in his blunt question before answering. “Yes,” I rushed out, feeling the sturdy tree behind me.
A coy smile worked itself over his face, and I bowed my back, pushing my chest against his. Why did I get this way with him? I was an entirely different person when he and I were alone. Like my body did the speaking for me. It craved him. His lips on mine. The way he got lost in me. The way I got lost in him. I loved it. Everything else just disappeared, and that was enticing as hell.
“Say it,” he demanded, inches away from my mouth. “Say it so I can hold onto this memory and play it over and over again to get me through everything to come. Let me have this.”
I needed it too.
My heart thumped hard as I gazed up at him. Things suddenly turned dark, and the trees were swaying as my head spun. My lips tipped with a grin, and I’d never felt so bold in my entire life, but seeing Isaiah’s reaction to me and knowing that he was seconds from kissing me again, I looked him in the eye and said, “Make me come, Isaiah.”