The way I look is utterly unhinged. Madness possesses me, the kind only a scientist might discover after mixing the wrong combination of elements. It’s venomous how I feel, my pride stabbed so critically that I’m not sure if I can ever recover.
Not if I lose Alex.
Because then I think I’d lose myself.
When I return to the bar, Soren has poured me a new drink—in a brand-new glass—and is proposing a toast. I miss his heartfelt words, too absorbed by the problem at hand. I have to speak to Alex about this virginity nonsense. And I need to do it before someone else gets to her first.
The night air is brisk when I make my way back to the Pershing mansion. Although the boys are right behind me, I feel isolated by my duty. I’m not an idiot. I know they’ve all been doing their own thing to earn their favor with Alex.
And what the hell have I done? Tortured her? Humiliated her? She’s not going to choose me based on our recent encounters. It’s hard to be nice to her, but even harder to admit that I want to be nice to her. To me, she should be nothing but another open pathway. But she’s so much more than that.
Especially when she looks at me.
Her brown eyes widen as I approach and extend my hand to help her off the ground. Tomas collects his yawning little sister and carries her princess-style into the hallway. Soren and Lev retreat to the drink table, where they share a bottle of whiskey.
Alex blinks at my hand. “What’s this?”
“Uh…Do you need to stand up?”
“Yeah, I guess.”
She tentatively slips her fingers into my palm and squeaks when I hoist her off the ground. I don’t let go of her hand—and she doesn’t rush to release mine. Our palms touch for what feels like several minutes, sweat slicking our flesh the longer they’re pressed together.
In a hushed voice, I demand, “Alex, you need to choose which one of us is going to take your virginity.”
“I take it the voting went well.”
“This isn’t funny. We’re all walking a tight fucking rope here.”
A shuddering sigh escapes her as she looks into my eyes. Brown irises glow with curiosity and then fade into a cold stare, her mouth drawing tight as she plays with the hair hanging over her shoulder. “I can’t choose, Parker.”
“Why the hell not?”
“Because every single one of you has treated me like shit.”
It’s weird hearing the honesty in her voice, the conviction with which she states the words.
And it fucking stings.
“Yeah,” I snort. “Guess nobody has earned brownie points here.”
“I’ve been nothing but a pawn in the game our families are playing.” She shakes her head, but still makes no move to retract her hand. “Even with all the risks weighed, this feels like a wild card.”
I nod. “That’s what makes it the best decision. Your mother and my father won’t see it coming. Ophelia thinks you’re too snotty to give it up willingly.”
“Really?”
“That’s what I would think if I was her.”
She purses her lips thoughtfully. “That makes sense.”
“How can we help you choose?”
“I can’t believe you’re asking for my opinion.”
It takes all my power not to snarl at her. “Dammit, Alex. Would you just answer the fucking question?”
The hint of amusement in her eyes solicits a growl—and an aroused groan. She confuses the fuck out of me, and yet I can’t help how much I like it right now. How can one look from her be so goddamn powerful?