Barred Desires (The Deepest Desires 1)

Branson

Christmas vacation startedoff with a bang.

It was such a turn-on to see Luca wild with hunger for me. I could tell he was getting turned on during the flight, but I never expected him to take me right there in the bathroom.

There is something to be said about someone who owns their sexuality and their wants. I know people who have known they were bi or gay for years, who don’t embrace it the way Luca does.

It makes me insanely proud, and definitely a little hornier.

My poor mom was waiting for us when we finally got to baggage claim, but we were only about fifteen minutes late. I don’t think she thought anything was up. Let’s hope not...

We’re back at home now, and Andrew just got here. Mom wants us all to go out for pizza tonight, so Luca and I are watching a movie while she gets ready to leave. We’re sitting right next to each other on the couch, and I want to reach out and take his hand in mine. Doing that on the plane was way more enjoyable than it should have been.

I can’t seem to get enough of him, and it’s clear he feels the same. Part of me wants to tell our parents, our friends, but the other part is anxious. What we’re doing is taboo, frowned upon. I don’t want anyone to damper the way either of us is feeling right now with their negative opinions. I’d rather it be just the two of us in on this secret for a little while longer.

Placing my hand down on the couch, I graze the side of Luca’s hand. It’s such a simple gesture, but I can see his lips turn up in my peripheral vision. Wrapping my pinkie around his, it reminds me of the first night we slept in bed together, how we fell asleep holding pinkies.

Andrew walks into the living room, so we move our hands quickly. He doesn’t seem to notice, but he does look at us both for a second longer. “How’s school going, boys?”

Luca answers first. “It’s going well. I like my classes and the professors are nice too. One of my favorites is Professor Philips; he’s super down to earth and his teaching style is great. Hopefully, I’ll get to take more of his classes in the future.”

“That’s great, Son. What class does he teach of yours?”

“English 101. He teaches a lot of English and writing classes, at all levels.”

“What about you, Branson? How’s your second year treating you?”

“Pretty good. I agree with Luca about Professor Philips. I took him for creative writing this semester, and he’s super chill.”

“That’s wonderful. I’m happy to hear things are going well for both of you. Your mother and I are so proud of you two.”

We all sit in comfortable silence after that while we wait for Mom.

* * *

We decideon La Fiamma Wood Fire Pizza, here in town, and thankfully it isn’t too busy, so we get a table right away. Luca and I decide to share a meat lovers pizza, while Mom and Andrew order Hawaiian.

“Luca, how's Courtney? Are we going to see her while you’re here?”

He stiffens beside me. We haven’t talked too much about Courtney and what exactly I walked in on. I’m respecting his privacy, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t curious about what truly happened to make them finally break up. I know after he ended it, she was blowing up his phone constantly. But since she walked in on us, she’s gone radio silent, finally taking the fucking hint.

“Oh, uh…” He takes a large gulp of his water, and I definitely sneak a peek at his throat swallowing, remembering that same throat swallowing my cock hours ago.

Focus, Bran.

“Uh, we broke up. Last week, actually, so you won’t be seeing her.”

“Oh, honey, I’m sorry to hear that. What happened?”

She always adored Courtney. No fucking clue why.

“It just didn’t work out. Our lives are different this year, and we outgrew one another.”

“Well, how are you handling it? You two were together for quite some time. Must be hard?”

I love my mom, but she needs to learn to read the room sometimes. One look at Luca, and it’s clear as day he’s uncomfortable—he’s looking everywhere but at her, picking the skin on his thumb, and starting to sweat—it’s practically radiating off him. Courtney obviously triggers something with him; I’ve seen the way he reacts around her. I want to get to the bottom of that, eventually.

“It’s okay, really. It was a long time coming. I’m not upset about it. We ended on good terms.”

That’s a lie.

The pizzas arrive, saving the day, and we’re able to end the conversation.

This is one of my favorite places to eat when I’m home. The food is so good, and it has that smalltown feel to it. It’s owned by a local family, and in high school, this was the hot after school spot.

We’re about halfway through eating when we hear someone call Andrew’s name from across the restaurant. We all look up and see a man, his wife, and a guy, who I assume is their son, heading our way. I’ve never seen these people in my life and Mom looks just as confused. I look over to Luca to see if he can fill me in, but he’s sitting there, sheet white, not moving a muscle.

What the heck?

“Andrew Adler,” the man drawls, taking Andrew in for a hug. “How the heck are you? We haven’t seen you in what? Nine or ten years?”

Andrew seems happy to see whoever this family is. “Wow! Mike, Robin, it has been so long. I’ve been great. How are you two? Did you move out of Bellingham?”

The woman, Robin, speaks this time. “It’s so great to see you. We are good, too. We did move out of Bellingham years ago to Camano Island, but we come back every so often to meet my folks.”

She’s mousey.

Glancing at Luca out of the corner of my eye, he’s still stuck in place. I don’t even know if he’s breathing at all.

What is going on with him?

“Conner,” Andrew chimes in this time, “you’ve grown up so much! Do you remember my son, Luca?”

All attention turns to Luca, who looks like he’s seen a ghost.

The man, Mike, moves toward Luca to give him a hug like he gave Andrew, but when Luca sits back down, he’s shaking. He still hasn’t spoken a single word, nor has the color returned to his face.

Something is wrong.

“Uh, I’m not feeling so well all of the sudden,” I interrupt, looking toward my mom. “Would it be okay if Luca and I took an Uber home? You guys can stay and visit.”

“Oh no, sweetie, are you okay?” I normally would feel bad for lying to my mom, but there’s something going on with Luca, and whatever it is, has something to do with this family.

“I’m sure I’ll be fine. I just want to get home and rest.”

Mom looks between Luca and me, her eyebrows drawn together and head tilted to the side. “Well, alright, then. We’ll meet you at home in a bit. Feel better, honey.”

With that, we are up and out of the restaurant. Looking back at Luca, the color is already starting to return to his face. “What was that about back there?” I doubt he’s going to tell me right now, but I have to ask.

“Not now, please. We can talk at home, I promise.

The Uber ride home is tense and silent. He’s staring out the window the entire time, arms hugging his body. It’s only about a ten-minute drive, then we’re walking in the front door. Luca’s shoulders visibly relax once the door is shut. Whatever this is, it’s big. I’m nervous to figure it out, so much so that my insides are trembling from just looking at him.

“Should I get us some drinks?” I offer. Maybe some liquid courage will help him speak about what’s bothering him.

“Uh, yeah, please.”

“Okay, go up to my room, babe. I’ll meet you there in a couple of minutes.”