I’m not Dom. With him, the club is his whole life. Everything else has taken a back seat. I love being part of the club. I love the legacy that I’m involved with because my father and my uncles created it. I love being on my bike and the way we live. I need more, though. I want a home. I want the love I see between my parents.
I always have—even though I’ve never told anyone that. Well, that’s not true. I did tell Lyla that once when we were talking about what we wanted out of life. That’s different, though. It was a general conversation between friends because that’s all we were back then.
I should have never crossed that line…
“T?” Dad prompts, and I turn to look at him.
“I royally fucked up, D-dad.”
“Yeah, you did,” he says, slapping me on the back.
“I don’t know how to make it right,” I murmur, as he stands close to me, and we look out the window together.
“There’s a chance you can’t, son,” Dad says, sounding resigned. He walks away and I turn to watch as he sits on the bed. I can see the stress on his face, and I know I put it there.
“I can’t let the c-club go to war over this shit,” I mutter.
“If we go to war, we go to war. It will have more to do with the fact Ford is an asshole than the fact you can’t keep your dick under control,” Dad says, and that doesn’t exactly make me feel better.
“I’ll find a way to make sure Lyla agrees to m-m-marry me and that will stop this shit. Even Ford won’t be stupid enough to start a war when his daughter is b-b-bound to a member of the Savage MC.”
“I wouldn’t be too sure of that and Jesus, you stuck your dick in this chick. That shouldn’t be a reason to marry her—although, fuck, boy, I gave you that talk about wrapping your damn dick up.”
“M-m-m…” I stop, frustrated that I can’t even get the damn word out. I take a breath and start again. “Marriage is the only thing that might bridge the clubs,” I mumble.
“Bullshit. If you think marriage is going to heal the rift between the clubs, you’re full of crap, T.”
“It’s w-worth a shot,” I insist.
“It’s a shit reason to tie yourself to a piece of pussy, T.”
“She’s not that, Dad. She’s a g-good woman.”
“You have feelings for her?” Dad asks, and I can tell he’s studying me.
“Not like that. We were friends.”
“Boy, I have a lot of friends. I never wanted to sink my dick inside of any of them,” he laughs, and I shake my head.
“You don’t have f-f-female friends,” I point out, the tight knot inside of me loosening some.
Dad is a hard ass and a man you don’t want to cross, but he’s been a damn good father. He can be hard as nails, but he’s never intentionally made me feel less because of my stutter. He’s never made a difference between me and Dom, when I know Dom is more of the kind son he wanted to follow in his footsteps. He’s never said that, but it has to be true. Dom is just like my dad.
“Your mother would kill me,” he jokes—or maybe he’s not. Mom does have a temper. “This Lyla,” he starts, and my body tightens when Dad uses her name. I know he’s going to ask questions I’m not comfortable with. Still, I man up. I got myself in this mess, I can’t run away now.
“Yea-yeah?”
“Does she really look like Gabby?”
“Yeah, I guess. I mean I’d be ly-lying if-if I said that wasn’t what made me n-notice her,” I admit, sounding like an ass, because I guess that’s what I am.
“Damn, son.”
“I know.” I take a deep breath. “She’s n-n-n-not Gabby, though.”
“And that’s the problem? Jesus, I never understood yours or Dom’s fascination with that girl,” Dad growls, and when I turn to look at him, he rubs his hand over his head. He does that often, and usually when he’s frustrated or upset. I’m surprised he isn’t bald because Dad’s not always a calm guy.
“You d-d-don’t like her?”
“She’s self-centered. I haven’t seen a bit of fire in her. Skull spoiled the hell out of her. Don’t get me wrong, I did the same with Kayden. She’s a girl and you need to nurture the soft in them, but you make sure you feed that fire, too. Women lead with their hearts, which makes the world a better fucking place, T.”
“I know,” I mumble, because this is a speech that Dad has given a hundred times to both me and Dom.
“But they need that fire inside of them to survive, to stand strong when life gives you shit. Because if there’s one thing you can count on—”