That gave Dahlia pause. What, had he just thrown on one of his sexy leather outfits and gone in search of a properly trained pleasure sub? Had he already chalked Dahlia up to just another failed experiment?
But, no, that wasn’t fair. Jess had said he was “pretty down.” Presumably because of the way things had ended the day before. And seeing Jess might be just what Dahlia needed. If nothing else, she would be a great sounding board. Someone who wouldn’t judge or reproach, someone who really did get it.
Thanks. That sounds awesome. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing, to tell you the truth.
Par for the course at this stage. Hang in there. See you soon!
Encouraged, Dahlia threw back the covers. As she entered her tiny bathroom, she noticed the collar, which she’d left lying on the floor. Bending down, she picked it up. As she ran her fingers over the smooth leather and hooked a finger through the O-ring, the events of the weekend tumbled through her mind.
It had been the most amazing experience of her life.
Until it wasn’t.
With a sigh, she set the collar on the sink ledge, and climbed into the shower.
When Dahlia got to the bagel shop where they’d agreed to meet, she was assailed by the delicious aromas of baking bread and fresh coffee. She looked around the space for Jess. Every table in the tiny storefront was occupied, but Jess wasn’t at any of them. There was a standing-only bar at the front window that had space. Worse came to worse, they could eat there.
Dahlia got in line. There was a chalk-written menu on the blackboard tacked to the back wall. She scanned it as she waited her turn, trying to decide.
She looked over as the bell above the door tinkled. Jess appeared in a down jacket, a pair of elegant boots on her feet. She had a burgundy cashmere scarf wound around her throat, her coppery curls falling prettily around her face. Catching Dahlia’s eye, she smiled brightly and approached.
“Hi. Good to see you again,” she said, taking her place beside Dahlia in line.
“You, too,” Dahlia replied sincerely. “This was a great idea. Thank you.”
It was their turn to order. They both ordered coffee. Jess asked for a cinnamon raisin bagel, toasted, with butter. Dahlia chose a pumpernickel bagel with lox, cream cheese, tomato and onion. After all, it wasn’t like she was going to be kissing anyone that morning.
“Oh, look,” Jess said, pointing. “A table just freed up.”
“You go,” Dahlia said. “I’ll wait for the food.”
Jess reached for her purse, but Dahlia stopped her. “No. My treat.” She flashed a smile.
“Thanks. I’ll grab the table.”
They ate their delicious bagels and sipped hot coffee as they made small talk. Dahlia wanted to bring up what was troubling her, but couldn’t quite find the nerve. It was embarrassing to admit just how far over her head she’d gotten herself.
To her relief, Jess took the lead. “So. Tell me what happened. Reading between the lines of what Hayden said last night, I’m guessing he went too far, too fast, and it freaked you out.”
“That’s one way of putting it,” Dahlia said sadly. “I’ve been thinking about it a lot. Obsessing over it is more accurate,” she added with a snort. “I keep trying to figure out the exact moment when it went from totally awesome to ‘stop this train, I need to get off.’”
Jess chuckled.
Dahlia managed a weak smile. “I used to think by the time I hit thirty I’d have all this relationship stuff figured out. I would be all mature when it came to dealing with bumps in the road. But instead of staying and talking things through, as Hayden wanted me to do, I just…took off. Ran away.”
“You did what you felt you had to do at the time. And, just for the record, D/s relationships are different from vanilla ones in some fundamental ways. By definition, the sub in the relationship, whether they be male or female, abdicates control. But, by the same token, the Dom assumes a big responsibility. From the little he said last night, what went down is on him. Not you. Hayden’s an experienced player, and he’s the one who dropped the ball, at least from where I see it.”
Dahlia forced back the blush that threatened to bloom on her face as she thought about Jess and Cameron knowing the details of what had happened. “He told you?”
Jess shrugged. “In so many words, yeah. Which, I agree, is not typical guy behavior. But he was really hurting, and knew he was among trusted friends.”
That made Dahlia feel a little better—not that he was hurting, but that he’d had someone to talk to. “The thing is,” she admitted, “I’m the one who pushed for this whole thing. I’m the one who eavesdropped on his conversation, wrangled my way into that Masters Club party, and thought I was ready to make that thrilling move from fantasy to reality. He warned me more than once that I was biting off more than I could chew, but I shrugged it off. I was determined to prove that I had what it took to be a submissive, even though I didn’t really know what the hell I was talking about.”