I knew that.
And I had known the moment he read my text, he was going to react this way.
If I were a parent, I was positive I’d do the same.
But the amount of vulnerability in his voice was making my heart ache. I couldn’t imagine what it would feel like to have half my soul in a different state and know she was sick.
I couldn’t fix this.
But I could try to make him feel a little better.
“I’m going to call you on FaceTime, so you can see her.”
I hit the button to FaceTime him, and as soon as the video connected, the scenery behind his head told me he was outside, that he’d left the restaurant to talk to me. Even with little backlight, as I stared at him, something was still so apparent.
And each time he’d FaceTimed with Everly since he’d left LA, I’d seen the same look on him.
He appeared beat, agitated.
Completely drained.
But this was the first time Everly wasn’t in the room.
The first time we’d been alone and I could bring it up.
“Ford, you look so tired.”
“I am.”
Something was bothering him that went beyond his concern for Everly.
“Are you all right?”
He ran his hand through his hair, glancing away from the phone. “It’s been a long … day.”
“Are you sure that’s it?”
I’d seen his long days. The moment he walked through the door and set his eyes on Everly, the stress would evaporate. But none of those days had ever looked like this.
This was different.
This was deeper.
He didn’t respond to my question, so I got more specific and asked, “Is it your clients? The traveling? Something else?”
He continued to stay silent.
“Ford, tell me how I can help.”
He finally looked at the screen again, his gaze covering my entire face while he said absolutely nothing. “Sydney …” He shook his head, like the words were on the verge of coming out but he just wasn’t ready to voice them.
Was this about us?
What had happened that night?
Was it eating at him? Causing more guilt? Triggering something else?
I watched him take several deep breaths, the angst in his expression building until I heard, “I just need to see her.”
I was wrong.
This was all about Everly.
Before the disappointment came crashing into me, I held my finger to my lips. “Okay, but shh. I don’t want to wake her.”
As I walked into her bedroom, I flipped the camera around, so he could view her. She was in the same position as when I’d left—sleeping on her side, the blanket pulled up to her neck, her little wisps covering her cheek. The cutest sounds still coming through her parted lips.
I kept the phone pointed at her for several seconds, giving him plenty of time to see her, and then I turned it back toward me, and I returned to the hallway.
“See? She’s all cozy and comfortable. There’s nothing to worry about.” I could tell he wasn’t convinced. “I will call you the second something changes even if that means I have to stay up all night.”
“I don’t want you to stay up all night, Sydney.”
“But I will.”
He sighed. “I know.”