I didn’t sleep well last night.
Mainly because I kept replaying our conversation over and over again. I dissected each word. The way he looked at me. The way his body was so taut. He was nervous, scared. And I understand that, but I ripped myself open, letting him see everything. And it wasn’t enough. I see the conversation between him and Caleb, and the pain is just overwhelming.
Especially since he hasn’t texted me since he left my door.
I thought at the time I was making the right decision. I’m so tired of being second best, of being the afterthought. But now, maybe I’m going about this all wrong. He was visibly upset, and now that I’ve spent most of the night thinking about it, I know he was trying to talk to me. Trying to figure out where to go from where we were. And instead of moving with him, I just shut down. I assumed the worst, with good reason, and called it off.
He needed reassurance, not me freaking the fuck out, but all I saw was him leaving me.
And that can’t happen.
Even though it kind of has.
Will he even talk to me?
I don’t know, but I feel like I’m dying and I haven’t even hurt myself. Nor do I want to. Which is huge for me. What I want is to know the truth, I want to have the facts, and the only way I can have those is by confronting my father, my brothers. I’m not sure what is going to happen and that scares me, but before I even try to apologize to Jace, reassure him that we are good, I need to get home and talk to my family.
But when I get home, no one is there.
“Welcome home, Ms. Haverbrooke,” our butler—if that’s even what they are called now—says.
I roll my eyes, waving Julian off. He’s worked for my family since my dad became the commissioner. It’s a little ostentatious in my opinion, but my dad loves him. So, whatever. “I’ve asked you for years not to call me that. It’s Avery.”
He smiles as he takes my bags. “Nonetheless, welcome home.”
“Where is my mom? Dad?”
He grimaces as I walk beside him through our massive house. I hate this house. It’s too big, too empty, but Dad wanted the best of the best. It’s never felt like a home—hell, the first time I even felt like I was home was when Jace wrapped his arms around me. “They are out to dinner with your brothers.”
“Couldn’t wait for me, I guess,” I mutter and his arm comes over my shoulders as we enter the kitchen. Laying my bag down, he pats my back.
“No worries. I made you your favorite, rice and beans.”
Which is a hell of a lot better than dinner with people who don’t care to wait for me.
As I eat, I try to sound happy, raving about my life in Nashville. But I know it rings a little false. While, yes, things are going great, I miss Jace. I know that Julian notices me checking my phone every second on the second. I just wish Jace would text me, but then, why don’t I text him? I’m the one who lost my shit; I’m the one who needs to apologize.
“Waiting on a call?” Julian asks and I shrug at his grin.
“I wish,” I say, checking it once more. “But I’m not.”
“No special man?” He grins, waggling his big, bushy black eyebrows at me and I shrug because, should I even say I do? Do I? Blah, I need to just text him. I’m worried about him, his knee, and also, I want to know if he’s playing tonight. I need to swallow my pride and text him. I’m going crazy without him. I don’t like how it ended, and I sure as hell can’t shake the look of desperation he gave me.
Before I can answer Julian, though, the back door opens and in spills my family.
“Avery! You’re here!” Mom squeals, coming toward me, wrapping me up in a tight hug. “I thought your plane didn’t get in till late?”
Of course you didn’t, I think. But instead, I say, “No, I got in at five.”
“Oh, how did you get home?”
“I called Reed
.”
“Oh, good. So he won’t get you later,” she giggles, kissing my temple. “You okay? You look a little sick.”
She moves her hand along my cheek, and I shrug. “Yeah, I’m fine.”