As Avery giggles and raves about the appointment to Lucy, I try to concentrate on driving. It isn’t working, though. My mind is flooded with thoughts of her—my daughter and who she will be. Will she like hockey? Or be a princess? Or both? She looks like a good mix of both of us, and I still can’t believe what I saw. What I felt. When the probe revealed my daughter, it took everything for me to find my next breath. It was love at first sight. Just like it was when I saw Avery for the first time and that scares me. If she’s got me this wrapped up and she isn’t even here yet, no telling what will go down when she gets here. Man, I just want to meet her because I love her already.
With my whole heart.
“I know! They can be best friends.”
I smile as I pull on to the road that leads to the Loveless Cafe where we are meeting Avery’s parents.
“I know. He is freaking out, I think. He hasn’t said much.”
“I’m fine. I’m excited,” I say and she flashes me a grin as Lucy and my mom scream on the other end. Apparently, everyone was hoping for a girl.
So was I.
“Cool, yeah, okay. I’ll call you back later. We are almost there. Thanks, I will. Okay, bye.”
Hanging up the phone, she lays it in her lap and she’s just beaming. I’m so thankful too, because for a second there, I was worried. She scared the shit out of me and I didn’t expect that, but that’s how it is with her anxiety. It can come at any moment. But thankfully, I knew right away that something was wrong. Being around her almost all the time now, I’m learning the signs and I’ve figured out how to help. It makes me feel good that I can help her, that I can calm her down because I hate seeing her like that. But it’s fine. I’ve got her, and together, we can beat this.
“Oh my God, are you excited?”
I lace my fingers with hers when she grabs my hand, bouncing in her seat. “Yeah, baby, I am.”
“A little girl. Eek! So cool.”
“For sure,” I agree, squeezing her hands as I try to push the nervousness out of my chest. I don’t want to be nervous to meet her mom and dad, but I’m still worried he could fuck with my career. I haven’t told Avery that, but it’s weighing heavily on me and I really don’t even want to go to dinner.
But I will.
Grinning over at her because I feel her watching me, I say, “So, no Gretzky for a girl, huh?”
She rolls her eyes. “No, but I like your idea from before about something J and A.”
“Okay, cool, so we’ll go with that.”
“Okay,” she says as I pull into the café. “Do you still like Ashlyn?”
I nod. “Yeah, didn’t you pair it with Joy?”
“I did,” she says with a grin. “I love when you listen to me.”
I scoff. “You’re crazy, but I do like Ashlyn Joy.”
She nods, saying the name a few times before grinning up at me. “Did we just name our baby girl?” she gushes and I laugh.
“If Ashlyn Joy Sinclair sounds good to you, I love it.”
“Eek! I do… I think. What if I change my mind?”
Laughing out loud, I shake my head. “Baby, we’ve got plenty of time to decide.”
She nods as she scrolls through her phone. “You’re right. Okay, let’s go in.”
Leaning over, she kisses my cheek. But before pulling away, she eyes me. “You’re nervous to meet my parents, aren’t you?”
I swallow hard. “No.”
“Liar.”
“Just a little bit.”