“Ew, don’t get mushy.”
I laugh. “Shut up. I am, though. I remember when you were just fucking and leaving. I never saw you getting with one woman like this.”
“I didn’t either, especially someone I grew up with. But Shelli, she’s everything for me.”
“Good,” I say happily. My brother was a little bit wild for a long time. He had no desire to settle down; he was scared of love, thanks to our parents and their whirlwind love story. The thing is, Shelli Adler is someone you can’t ignore. He was done for once she decided he was hers. He almost fucked it up with his insecurities and aloof attitude, but in the end, they were predestined. At the end of the summer, they’ll be married in some over-the-top circus of a wedding, and while I’m dreading the theatrics, I’m excited to see them become one.
What can I say? I’m a hopeless romantic.
“Though, I am surprised I’ll be married before you.”
“Right?” I agree. “I fucked up wasting years on Jasmine.”
“Yup,” he says. “It’s cool, though, just means you can go sow your wild oats.”
I snort. “No sowing for me. I like to get to know who I’m sleeping with.”
He laughs. “As long as you have a condom, you’re good. Go get you some. Enjoy it.”
I shake my head. “Actually, there is a girl who is totally wanting to get down.”
“Awesome. Get it done, bro.”
“But I told her I wanted to know her better first.”
“Jesus, Lord almighty. Come on, Ash. Don’t be a pussy.”
“Hey, that’s rude,” I scold, and he laughs. “I don’t want to sleep around. It’s not my jam.”
“You remember when you said Mom and Dad fucked me up?”
I groan. “Here we go.”
“You may have been right, but Mom fucked you up, too. You were there when she was preaching to the girls about knowing their worth, and now you’re scared to disrespect that. I promise you, if you ask Mom if she wants you to fuck around or settle down, she’ll tell you to fuck around.”
I laugh hard. “You’re insane. She would not! She doesn’t want to be a grandma.”
“Hello. Condoms, dumbass.”
“Hello. Only a 98.9 percent chance of protection, dumbass.”
He pauses. “Eh, those odds never stopped me. Enjoy being a young, newly single dude. Go fuck around.”
I make a face. “I really don’t want this advice. I just want your condo.”
He laughs. “For what? Peace and quiet? Because we both know you aren’t bringing ladies home.”
“So? I deserve it after spending days with Emery and Stella.”
“You’re not wrong,” he agrees with a chuckle. “Listen, my mortgage is paid up until the end of May, and so you’ll be rent-free until then. If you want to stay, though, you’ll need to buy it off me and have a job since I live that posh life.”
I snort. “You mean, you blow money?” He laughs. “Yeah, sounds good. We’ll see if I like it. And I should have a job soon. I’ve got that interview with Elli, and I actually just got an email from the athletic director at Bellevue. They need someone on the jumbotron. So, I may have two jobs.”
“Overachiever. But for real, I know the one in the rink at Bellevue needs you. It’s shit.”
“Well, then they definitely need me because the one in the volleyball gym is disgusting too.”
“Why were you…? Oh yeah, Ally. Duh. How’s she doing? I haven’t seen her in a while.”