I Never Let You Go (I Never 3)

He nods.

“Okay, well, why don’t you pull a book from the shelf and read at your desk till the rest of the class finishes.”

“Sure.” I watch Grant run to the book corner and search the books before finally deciding on one and quietly making his way back to his desk.

I take a deep breath.

In and out.

In and out.

Inhale and exhale.

I prop my elbows on the desk and run my fingers through my hair. I’m doing this; we’re doing this. I reach into my desk and pull out my phone. I begin to type a message to him, telling him that we need to talk, but no, this is something that I need to do face-to-face. I put my phone away just as the timer goes off.

“Okay, guys, put your pencils down and bring your test on up.” There are a few groans throughout the classroom, and I can’t hide my smile. Once all tests are gathered, I sit on my desk and cross my legs as we continue our lesson identifying living and nonliving animals until the final bell rings.

Usually, I would stick around grading papers or tests or preparing for next week’s lesson plan, but today I have a mission. I grab my bag, leaving the thoughts of Lauren Lawson, elementary school teacher, behind and focus on Lauren Lawson, ready to call Finn mine again.

The drive from school to Finn’s office went quicker than I thought it would, especially being a Friday afternoon.

“Hi, I’m here to see Finn Reynolds,” I tell the receptionist sitting at the front counter. It’s been forever since I’ve been to this office, but looking around, it seems as if nothing has changed. I can’t help but smile as I recall coming here with Finn when we were younger, stopping by to visit his dad. I imagine visiting him now, bringing him lunch, maybe an office quickie. My cheeks flush as I try to compose myself.

“I’m not sure if he is still here, but if you head right down there, you will find his secretary, and she should be able to assist you.” She points me down the long hallway to where his office is. My sweaty palms twist back and forth as my nerves gather the closer I get to the office.

I can’t wait to see the smile on his face when I tell him I want there to be an us again. Maybe he can leave a little early and we can go celebrate properly.

I notice that his door is open, but the light is off. Has he already left for the day? Maybe I should have called him to let him know I was coming by. But I see a petite redhead sitting at a desk in front of it.

She looks up, bearing her perfect white smile. “Hi, can I help you?” This is Finn’s secretary? Her breasts are spilling out of her top. Definitely not office-appropriate attire in my mind. I glance down at the difference in our outfits.

“Yeah, hi. Umm, I’m here to see Finn Reynolds.”

Her eyes browse me up and down, and I feel a tad uncomfortable as if she is sizing me up. Her smile disappears for a moment until her mouth curls into a sneer. There is something about her that I don’t like. Does she flirt with Finn? Does she dress like that for him?

She props her elbow up on her desk, resting her chin on top of her fist, her boobs now pushed up even farther. “I’m sorry, but Mr. Reynolds left to go back to Seattle.”

He what? He left? She may have continued speaking, but I need to get out of here. The walls of this office are closing in on me.

He left me—again.

He lied—again.

Guess the joke’s on me. I open my mouth, and somehow words are softly whispered. “Thank you.”

I turn on my heels and run down the hallway.

On the way out, a shadow in an open doorway catches my attention, but I keep going.

“Lauren?” a familiar Reynolds voice shouts. Kelsey. I tilt my head to the side, ignoring her, to keep her from seeing me crying, but the tears are blurring my vision, and I’m forced to wipe them away. “Lauren? What’s wrong?” Her voice is quiet with the distance growing between us.

I refuse to stop because she will want to talk, and I need to get out of here. Will she feel sorry for me? He left? He went back to Seattle.

I round the corner to the elevators, thankful the front desk is empty. I press the button over and over as if it’ll make the elevator arrive faster. I guess I’ve been through enough today, and for once, the gods are on my side. Now safely in the elevator, I press the lobby button quickly, hoping that Kelsey didn’t follow me. As it descends, I rest my head back against the wall.

How could I have been so stupid to allow him back into my life? He said once before, telling me that it would always be me, that he would never need anyone else. Lie. Why did I believe anything else out that came out of his mouth after that? He clearly had no intention of sticking around. Messing with my feelings must have been a joke. Was this all payback for saying no?

He said that night at my house that he needed to go back to tell her that he loved her, and I guess I just got caught up in the moment to believe that it had been me, but he went back to Seattle without telling me. I think I was wrong. I hope he is happy.