SUNNY
I reachout for my big body pillow that I always sleep with, not finding it anywhere. Instead I grab a normal one. I’m too comfortable to open my eyes and really search for it. I cuddle it to my chest, the smell of Mack filling my lungs.
My eyes fling open, remembering I’m in his bed. I peek around the room, but I don’t see him, so I bury my face into the pillow again and take another deep breath. There is something about the smell of Mack that always brings me comfort. Today, however, a dull ache forms in my chest.
Something is changing with us. I’m not sure what it is, but he’s different with me. While he’s still sweet and caring, I sense a level of irritation or maybe even anger coming from him lately. It scares me to my core. The thought of losing Mack terrifies me. He’s my family. My best friend. I can’t imagine losing my family all over again. I don’t think my heart could bear it. It was only because of Mack that I was able to put myself back together when my parents died.
Reluctantly, I sit up, thinking maybe if I leave his room, the ache will go away. It’s a stupid thought because I know it’s not going to work, but still I do it, not wanting to get too comfortable in his bedroom. I stop when I see a note on the nightstand next to a bottle of water.
Ran out to grab some things. Be back soon. Keep your ass in bed, Sunshine.
Love you.
I trace the written words love you with my finger. I know it’s only a love you in a friendship kind of way, but it still has my heart doing a little pitter patter. The little note gives me some sort of comfort that maybe I am overreacting a bit. I grab his pillow and the note, and take it back to my bedroom. I place everything on my bed before I slip into the shower to freshen up. I’m actually surprised I’d taken a nap. I’m not big on them, but lately I’ve been more tired than normal.
While I let my conditioner sit in my hair, I wash my body, wincing when I get to my breast. I lift my arm and give my breast a quick check like the doctor taught me to do when I’d gotten my first pap smear as a young girl. Everything feels fine, but they are tender to the touch. Maybe it’s just my hormones, and I’m getting my period.
As soon as the thought of my period enters my mind, my stomach drops. Mentally I try to think of the last time I had one, but I can’t get my mind to slow down enough to figure it out. I rinse the conditioner out of my hair before jumping from the shower to find my phone. I open the calendar app and start to count. It’s stupid because I already know I’m late but I still continue to look.
Everything starts flipping through my mind. How tired and snappy I’ve been. How my stomach has been getting upset after eating certain foods. My breasts suddenly became more tender. Is being extra horny a sign of pregnancy too? I thought I was horny because I keep remembering pieces of that night with Mack, and my body wanted more, which is partly true, but could it be because I’m pregnant too?
Hurriedly I throw on some clothes, grab my purse and cell phone, and head out to the store down the street to buy a test. In no time, I’m back in my bathroom and peeing on the freaking test. I lay it on the sink counter and set a timer.
My heart pounds as the seconds pass by. I’m pretty sure I already know the answer. What is this going to mean? Will this rip Mack and me apart? He’s never talked about having kids before. Hell, he’s never talked about wanting to get married. I’m not sure why.
Mack’s parents have the sweetest marriage. My parents did too before they passed away. They had been madly in love. It’s always made me long to have the same thing. To have a house full of children. My mom was only ever able to have me. The doctors told her she would never be able to get pregnant. But she hadn’t given up. It was her dream to have a family with my dad.
When she finally did get pregnant with me, it had been a rough pregnancy. She’d spent most of it on bedrest. She was in a constant state of worry. She always called me her little miracle baby. She told me when I was finally born a healthy baby, it was like the sun had come out again. That's why they named me Sunny.
“Sunshine!” Mack's voice bellows through the house. I sweep the test and the box into a cabinet drawer and slam it closed. “I told your little ass to stay in bed.” He comes around the corner into my bedroom. He stops when he sees me standing inside my bathroom with the door open. “Are you throwing up again?” I shake my head no. “Why are you dressed?” His eyes run up and down me. I’d thrown on an oversized sweater and yoga pants, but I also have my sneakers on. “You go somewhere?”
“I feel fine,” I say to avoid his question, not wanting to lie to him. “That nap did the trick.” I force a smile.
“You sure?”
“Yep, all better.”
“Good, you can go to dinner with me. Mom says I haven't been coming around enough.” Shit.
“I should probably check my emails, and I passed out before I graded the tests from the other day. I need to get that done.”
“I already did them for you. Even entered them into the system.”
“Oh, you’re too good to me.”
“Then come to dinner. You love Mom’s cooking.” I open my mouth to give another lame excuse, but he beats me. “Please.”
“Okay, let me change.”
“You’re fine. You always look hot.” My heart gives a flutter. He thinks I’m hot? My alarm on my phone starts to go off, jerking me back to reality. I grab it, turning it off.
“Got an appointment?”
“No, just a reminder. Give me five and I’ll be ready.”
“All right.” His eyes search my face for a long moment before he finally steps back and leaves the bedroom. The second he’s gone, I spin around and jerk the drawer open. The test stares up at me. There is one word on the tiny screen.
Pregnant.