She had, as a result of one reckless moment, become no one.
“Of course I was hoping for a good husband for you, and for your sisters to be settled as well.” Father shook his head, again bringing the bottle to his lips. “If your mother had been here, she never would have allowed any of this to happen.”
Emma did not disagree with his assessment; Mother had been the keystone of their family. She had doted on her daughters and had loved Father fiercely. She had been protective of her family. She had been kind and good and loving, and then, one day she had suffered a sudden illness, and she had been taken from them far too soon.
“We all miss her,” Emma said, knowing Father’s grief, like her own, must seem as if it would consume him some days.
Had that been the reason for the weeping she had heard from the other side of the door? Had he been sitting alone in the semi-darkness, thinking of Mother and allowing his sorrows to claim him?
“No one misses her more than I do.” Father’s voice was ragged. He shook his head slowly, as if attempting to clear it of a fog. “I pray she can forgive me for what I’ve done, and for what I must do.”
Perhaps not, then.
A new, troubling sense of apprehension curdled in her belly.
“What is it that you have done, Father?” she asked quietly. “Will you tell me?”
“I cannot bring myself to admit it. I have committed the ultimate sin against my family.”
“Please,” she implored, her worry growing. “When I went past the study door, I heard you weeping.”
He inhaled slowly, then exhaled. “I… I have lost everything.”
“Not everything,” she reassured him, the same words she had spoken many times in the year since her mother’s sudden death had rocked their family. “You still have your daughters.”
“Of course, and you are my treasures.” Leaving his handkerchief in his lap, he lowered his head to rest it in his hand, his torment visceral. “The only value I have left. I’ve lost everything else. Squandered it like a fool, thinking I could regain it if I only tried again…until it was too late.”
There was something in his voice that made a chill trickle through her. “What do you mean, Father? Pray, tell me so that I may understand.”
He lifted his head, meeting her gaze, his expression pained. “I haven’t a shilling left. I’ve lost it all, and then some. I’ve borrowed from creditors so that I would have enough to return to the hazard table, hoping my luck would return, and I lost that as well.”
Good heavens.Their circumstances were not just desperately reduced. They were dire.
“Everything?” she repeated, struggling to comprehend the magnitude of his revelation.
“Everything.”
Her mind whirled. “I have some gowns I could sell. Abigail and Cassandra have some jewelry that would fetch a fine price.”
She had hoped they would not be so lowered that her sisters would need to part with the few pieces their mother had left for them. But if it was a matter of putting food on the table and seeing them through, it would have to be done.
“The debt owed is far more than gowns or trinkets.” Her father sighed heavily. “But that is not the worst of it, not by far. You see, my debts have been bought up. Every last one of them. And now, the man who owns them has chosen to call them in. If I haven’t the funds within a week’s time, he will see us destroyed. We will lose everything but Ralston Abbey, and neither of your sisters will ever be able to secure a decent husband. Your mother would hate to see the disgrace and ruin I have brought upon us all.”
A sob wracked his frame, and he took another drink from his bottle of port.
Guilt knotted in her stomach, joining the trepidation. “I have brought ruin upon us first. If I had been more careful, and if I had not been so easily distracted by a handsome rogue’s charm, I would have found a husband by now. My sisters would not have to fear for their futures, and neither would you. I wish there was some way I could atone for my sins and make it right for you all.”
When lacking a fortune to suitably recommend one on the marriage mart, possessing beauty was an acceptable substitute. Even a lady without a dowry whose hand was sought after could command, if not a lord, then at the very least a wealthy merchant. Someone—anyone—to save her family from the penury facing them.
“There is a way,” her father said, interrupting Emma’s thoughts. “But it is one I refuse to consider.”
“Tell me,” she begged, deciding that whatever it was, she would aid her father and her sisters however she must. Regardless of what the deed entailed. “Tell me, and it shall be done.”