16. TYLER
It didn’t make any sense. The longer I thought about it, the less sense any of it made. I tried my best to wrack my brain and think about people who could’ve possible seen us together. I’d barely been to the Manor, it was impossible someone could’ve connected the two of us together. Unless he was trying to get out of sleeping with me again, which I didn’t mind, but I would’ve appreciated the honesty about it.
I called up Gabriel.
“Are you going to the Manor tonight?” I asked, knowing Asher would be there, and also knowing he wouldn’t want to see me, but it was probably the only place we could talk.
“Taylor. I can’t take you again.”
“What?”
“I saw you,” he said.
“Sorry. What?”
“Taylor. I saw you and that kitten. You took him home. It’s against the rules. I could get banned from that place, and all the other places I like to visit.”
“Wait—wait.” My brain zapped around inside my head, lightbulb moments sparking up all over. “What are you telling me?”
“If I didn’t tell them, I’d have been thrown out.”
My momentary suspicions were confirmed. “You’re the reason Asher’s job was threatened.”
Gabriel sighed down the phone at me. “I was protecting myself. You have to build a reputation with these places. If it wasn’t me, it would’ve been against me. And I love you, bro, but I couldn’t take an L with this one.”
It was crushing to feel, to know, to even think about. I walked through the apartment to see the pile of folded clothes Asher had placed on the dresser. He’d been here this morning, and yet so much had changed. I wanted him to come back, but there was no way I’d be able to do that.
I hung up the phone on Gabriel.
I knew what I needed to know now. What had happened between me and my kitten was gone. It burned bright, it burned fast, but then at the end, it was gone, and there was nothing left we both had to move on and do what we both needed to do to get on with the rest of our lives.
Swiping a hand and throwing all the items I’d bought for Asher into the top drawer, I closed it shut.
It was the end of something I didn’t want to end, and now that it had, there was something stale in the air.
I cleaned the entire apartment until I collapsed in front of the TV with a microwave meal for one from the depths of my freezer. The light freezer burned texture across the top of it added a little extra crunch to the burned meal. And as I slurped down the mashed potatoes and gravy, and tore through the tough meat, I resigned myself to realize this was how my life was going to be. I was a teacher, I wasn’t supposed to get my heart rate over a certain limit, I was sure of it, and Asher was someone who’d been pushing my heart rate higher, both from stress but also excitement.
For the rest of the week, I didn’t see him at all. He wasn’t in any of my classes, and he didn’t walk by trying to catch my eye. He was truly avoiding me. I didn’t like to think he was, but I knew that was the truth. I tried my hardest not to think about him, but seeing the empty seat in the classroom where he’d been was a reminder of it. If it had happened earlier, I would’ve been thankful he wasn’t in the class disturbing everyone, but now, I couldn’t think of anything more than wanting to see him.
I stayed in my classroom, longer and longer each evening. I was waiting for him to show up. I knew it was unlikely. It was a long shot to even think he would appear and tell me that he didn’t care about the job, and how he just wanted to be with me. I was long past the age of believing in fairytales.
A knock came at the door before it opened.
“Hi,” I said.
“I’m Santiago,” he said, walking in. He wore next to nothing in his booty shorts and extremely thin and loose vest. “I wasn’t even going to come in here, but you’ve got to deal with Asher.”
“Asher.” My back straightened. “He’s my student. What’s happened?”
Santiago rolled his eyes. He walked back to close the door. “No, you know what I mean,” he said. “He’s been an absolute mess recently. You know, at the Manor.”
“Oh.” I didn’t know if I wanted to hear any of this, but he was telling me anyway. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
“I know you and him had a little thing,” he said, quieter in his approach. He pulled out a chair and sat opposite my desk. “You’re gonna have to talk to him. He’s been drinking.”
I wasn’t his caretaker. It wasn’t my problem Unless it was something to do with his college work, I wasn’t allowed to care for it. I shook my head and shrugged. “You could always go to his fraternity. I’m sure they’ll have something they might be able to do.”
“He hasn’t left the Manor,” he said. “In almost a week. For starters, he can’t leave. He’s always drinking, so he can’t drive his bike back. And anytime someone offers to drive him home, he refuses.”
I continued to shake my head. I didn’t want to hear it. “If you know anything, you’ll know that he can make his own choices.”