MASON LOOKED DOWN ATthe list he’d been working with Harper on. It was such a relief to have everything mapped out for him. He was usually comfortable being in charge, but this time, he was so far out of his element that he hadn’t even known where the starting line was. Dresser, books, booster seat...the list was clear and concise and Harper had even helped him know why the equipment was necessary. Geez, kids are expensive. It was a good thing he didn’t live a lavish lifestyle or this would have put him into debt.
He glanced at Harper, who was playing with Layla. She had slid from the couch to the floor and together the females were building with wooden blocks that Harper had brought over. Layla was enjoying pushing them over, giggling at the destruction.
One side of Mason’s mouth pulled up into a grin. His niece was more enjoyable than he thought she would be. Her eyes lit up when she smiled and sometimes, when he wasn’t paying attention, Mason could see stark reminders of Aimee in the child’s behavior. Harper’s idea to give Layla a choice in getting dressed had been brilliant.
Just like his younger sister, Layla didn’t like being told what to do. Having options helped make her much more cooperative. And will hopefully waylay any tantrums, Mason prayed. Harper had assured him they would still happen, but Mason decided he’d keep hoping for a miracle.
“Are we keeping you from your work?” Mason asked, the thought bringing with it a slew of worry. “It just occurred to me that while you’re here, you’re not painting.”
Harper shrugged, looking slightly uncomfortable. “I do have a project I’m working on...but I’ve kind of been stumped with it anyway. Helping a friend has been a nice break.”
Friend.More and more, that was starting to become a curse word in Mason’s vocabulary. He didn’t want Harper to just be his friend. Even during the last few days, his attraction to her had shifted from she’s really nice and pretty and would make a great girlfriend to I’m not sure what I’m going to do when she’s not in my life anymore.
You’re still adjusting,he reminded himself, using Harper’s words. Once you get settled into a good routine with Layla, life will be easier, and then it won’t matter that Harper’s not here.
The words made his stomach churn. Mason wasn’t fooling himself at all. He didn’t want to do this alone, but he couldn’t imagine trying to navigate a new relationship with two girls at once. No woman should have to play second fiddle and that’s exactly what Harper would be. Their time together would revolve around a child and Mason’s attention would be split and their alone time almost nonexistent. He was still trying to get to know Layla, let alone how to handle being a father.
And maybe that was part of the problem. Mason hadn’t known that Layla existed. He didn’t see her as a newborn. He didn’t hold her and hear from Aimee about her likes and dislikes. He was starting completely from ground zero...on everything.
And Harper deserves to be treated like the only woman in the room. Not the one I turn to when I have a couple of minutes during naptime.
Mason sighed and slumped a little deeper into his seat. His life was such a mess.
“I think maybe it’s time for lunch and a nap,” Harper announced, climbing to her feet.
Mason blinked and looked at his phone. He’d obviously been lost in his thoughts for a while. “Wow. Time flies.”
Harper smirked. “Especially when you’re napping.” She picked up Layla.
“I wasn’t sleeping.”
She chuckled. “You were snoring, Mason.”
He rubbed his forehead. “Really? I thought I was just lost in thought.”
Harper shook her head. “Nope. But that’s alright. It gave Layla and me a chance to get to know each other a bit.” She looked down at the little girl on her hip. “Who wants peanut butter and jelly?”
Layla scrunched her nose.
“She obviously understands us,” Mason said.
Harper looked thoughtful. “She does, but I haven’t figured out yet why she’s not repeating everything she hears.” Harper turned to Layla and rubbed noses with her. “Can you say lunch?”
Layla laughed and the sound did odd things to Mason’s stomach. Slowly, but surely, he was positive the little stinker was worming her way into his heart. Mason had taken her on out of a sense of duty and to fulfill his sister’s dying wish, but somehow, the organ in the middle of his chest was starting to get involved.
He had to be getting soft because he felt as if it were the same struggles he was having with Harper. His heart wanted her, but his brain said to handle things more rationally. Layla needed Mason to be a protector and guardian, not a softie who let his overactive feelings run the show.
Logic had gotten him far in life and Mason knew he couldn't abandon it if he wanted to be able to handle the many years of parenthood ahead of him.
An hour later, they were cleaning up peanut butter sandwiches, which Harper had somehow convinced Layla to eat, and suddenly it was nap time.
“So...I just put her down?” Mason whispered, Layla tucked tightly into his chest. “I’ve been trying, but she cries and doesn’t sleep well.”
“You don’t have to whisper,” Harper said, but nodded. “Yeah. Just like the other night. Let her know it’s naptime, put her down, tuck her in. You can sing her a little song, or read a book, you know...create a pattern.”
Mason felt the blood drain from his head. “I have to sing to her?” he asked hoarsely. He hadn’t considered that. He’d been doing his best to follow the schedule she had given him, but naptime was still a fight. Harper showing up to help today was an answer to prayer.
Harper’s twitching lips told him just how much she was enjoying his discomfort. “You don’t have to sing. But kids enjoy it.” She leaned in. “And Layla won’t care what your voice is like or how off key you are. They just like music.”
Mason swallowed hard and nodded. He was a grown man. He could handle this. He marched down the hallway, knowing he probably looked like he was going to the guillotine, but unable to help it. “Okay, Layla. It’s naptime.” He stopped at the edge of the crib when she started to squirm. “Naptime? You ready for naptime?”
Layla shook her head and Mason looked for Harper.
“Give her her blanket,” she said softly. “Like you did before.”
Mason grabbed the soft piece of fabric and tucked it over Layla’s shoulder, then laid her down. Layla immediately jumped to her feet and held up her arms, starting to cry.
The tears bit at Mason’s resolve. He hated it when she cried. She was so tiny. They had to be doing it wrong. He started to reach for her, but Harper hissed at him and Mason pulled his arms back, feeling like a little boy caught at the cookie jar. “She’s crying,” he said, as if it wasn’t obvious.
“She’s going to cry,” Harper explained. “You just need to stay in charge. If you give in every time she cries, you’ll be back to chaos in no time.” Harper raised an eyebrow. “A two year old isn’t a good boss.”
Mason scrubbed his face, trying to ignore the sounds coming from the little girl. “Then what do I do?”
“Read or sing,” Harper pressed. “Give her clear boundaries. Then tuck her in and leave.”
Mason groaned. He didn’t have any books yet. He’d have to sing instead. Crap. Closing his eyes, he tried to remember one of the little ditties most kids knew from their childhood, but he wasn’t feeling very confident “The Itsy Bitsy Spider” was going to help him out. Singing it twice, he put Layla down again and tucked in her blanket, then walked toward the door.
He closed his eyes once in the hall, hearing her sniffle and whine. He hated it. How did parents do it? How could he handle this day in and day out? Warm fingers touched his cheek, and Mason’s eyes snapped open.
Harper was there, looking at him with sympathy. “That was great. Give her a few minutes and she’ll quiet down. The first few times will be rough, but sticking to your guns will give you both some sanity.”
Mason nodded, and his eyes dropped to her lips. She was so close. So...close... He could smell the fruity scent of her shampoo and the warmth of her body was starting to permeate his shirt.
As if realizing she was in his bubble, Harper pulled back, ducking her head and putting space between them.
Mason wasn’t sure what came over him, but he couldn’t let her create that space. Reaching out, his hands grabbed her hips, stopping her. Harper’s beautiful eyes widened and she looked up at him...questioning...begging...
Mason was positive he hadn’t made the conscious choice to kiss her until after his lips brushed hers. But the jolt of the touch brought every nerve ending to full alert, causing him not to care how it began. All he knew was he wanted more. One little peck wasn’t enough. Harper’s breathing was shallow and erratic, but she didn’t pull away and Mason decided that was as good as any “yes”. He slowly lowered his head, bringing their mouths together for longer.
Heaven help me...
Harper was an angel. She fit perfectly into his arms and their mouths fit perfectly together. Why, oh why did life have to be so cruel as to not only take Mason’s sister, but to take away his chances for having this woman in his life?
He should have let her go. Should have stepped back instead of continuing something that couldn’t last, but instead he found himself tightening his hold. If he couldn’t have her for a lifetime, at least he could have her for a moment. And despite how much it would hurt later, it would have to be enough.