gret,” she said, putting a hand on my arm. It was clear she’d been ready to give me all levels of shit, but when she saw how torn up I was, she backed off.
I couldn’t hold it in any longer and exploded into sobs. “I…I…it’s…so…messed…up.”
Shelle led me to a bench and sat me down, her arm around my shoulders.
“C’mon,” she said. “Let it out.”
I buried my face in her shoulder, covering her fleece with my snot and tears. But she wouldn’t care. She was on my side, no matter what I did.
I pulled myself up and blew my nose on the tissue she’d handed me.
“You could come with me, you know,” I told her.
Yeah, right. Fat chance. No one in San Francisco would move to Chicago unless they absolutely had to.
She looked down. “I don’t know, Jayma. I don’t think I could. I mean, Chicago’s so cold…”
“I know,” I said, catching my breath and nodding. ““I feel bad. The guys are working so hard on the house. They’ve been so good to me.”
“And you’re leaving town…why?”
“Well, one, for the job, but mainly because I can’t choose among the guys. I like them all, Shelle. Wyatt, the quieter one with that crazy man bun, takes such good care of his dad. I love that about him. Then there’s Tanner from work, with his Mad Men glasses. He’s helped me so much with my career by mentoring me. Dig, Mr. Italian Stallion, wants to sell my house for me before the bank takes it, and his best friend Carter, my blue eyed guy, is leading the charge to renovate the place.”
It was true. I could never choose, because there was something about each of them that was just incredible. I wanted them all. Like that was a possibility. Maybe in another universe.
“Who’s better in bed?” Leave it to Shelle to ask that.
But to be honest, I’d asked myself that, too.
And I couldn’t answer it.
“They’re all great. Each one in his own way. I can honestly say that I’ve never had sex before like I have had with those guys. Each one is different. And each one’s amazing.”
“When are you leaving?” she asked.
“I’m supposed to be there within the month.” I turned to her. “I don’t feel like I should stay at the house with the guys any more. Can I come stay with you?”
“Of course you can, sweetie. You can stay as long as you like. I’ll send the dogs to my parents’ house. You can bring your cat.” She held my hand.
“Thanks, Shelle. I knew I could count on you.”
“Of course, sweetie. Always.” She pulled me into an embrace. I didn’t know what I was going to do without her.
As muddled as my head was, it actually felt good to get to work. I was dying for something to occupy my brain.
But when I got there, I realized that was not to be.
My desk was covered in four giant vases of flowers.
Shit.
And, the tears were back.
I plopped down at my desk in reception, wishing I didn’t have to sit in such a public place when I felt so shitty.
Mr. Renner passed through on the way to his office. “Well, look at all the flowers you’ve got. You have some very nice friends, helping you celebrate your new job this way.”
He was right. I did.