While I said goodbye to the folks who were already heading out, I couldn’t help but think of the car accident that changed my life and took my sister from me. The guilt and shame that flooded over me was nearly as strong as the day it happened, and it was all I could do to keep from losing my shit in front of the guests I was bidding a good night to.
And like Lisette’s accident, I felt partially responsible for Smith’s.
Yeah, I knew he was basically the office clown, and that the guys had questionable respect for him, but he had to be only in his thirties. And he’d been at a party at my gallery and had left for the evening without saying goodbye to anyone. A lump lodged in my throat as I smiled brightly at the departing guests, squeezing their hands and patting their arms. My voice no longer worked.
When the last guest had gone, I wandered around the gallery, now being quickly transformed from a night as a sex club back to its normal state. It had been a good evening by most measures, with our usual full house. Some of the artwork had even sold, which Blu had taken care of.
“Hey,” I said weakly when I found Blu, his eyes red and bloodshot.
“I can’t fucking believe this,” he said. “I mean, we all went to college together.”
“I’m sorry Blu. I’m sorry you lost a friend. Sorry all you guys lost a friend.”
My shoulders trembled and then began to heave. I buried my face in Blu’s chest, and my quiet tears fell. I knew he’d joined me when I heard him sniffling.
I lifted my head.
“Blu, I can’t have any more parties here in the gallery.”
“Well, I can understand that. But sweetie, Smith’s accident had nothing to do with you, or the gallery. It could have happened on his way home from anything.”
“I don’t know, Blu. It just wouldn’t feel right. I never should have had parties here to begin with. This is an art gallery, not a night club.”
“Okay. I get it. I respect your decision, and I know the guys will, too.”
I gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Thanks.”
“For what?” he asked.
I shrugged. Where to begin? The list was long. “For…just being you. And being there for me.”
He held my hand. “’Course, baby. You’re my bestie.”
“And thank you for introducing me to the guys.”
A wicked look crossed his face. “You sure seem to like them.”
Frowning, I nodded. “Yeah, of course. What’s not to like?”
Blu nodded. “I know. I’ve been friends with them for years, and I wouldn’t have let a single one of them near you if they weren’t the high-quality men I know you deserve. Unlike that douche-y ex of yours.”
“Soon-to-be-ex. Actually, not soon enough.”
“What are you going to do about the guys?”
I looked around to make sure no one was within earshot. “I’m not sure. Sumner is so smart and serious, and he looks out for everyone. Chase is just a pile of mush. He’s so in love with his baby. Gio is about the most charming man I’ve ever met, with his European style and manners. And Ash is my wild, exotic animal—a bit unpredictable. And they’re all so goddamn sexy.”
“Sounds like you hit the guy lottery, my friend. Or should I say the harem lottery?” He laughed.
My stomach knotted, just as it had every time I tried to figure out how to handle my predicament. “Well, I won something, that’s for sure. I’m just don’t know what yet. I mean, at some point, I have to choose one of them. If they even want me. I don’t know how I’ll do that when the time comes.”
“You’ll figure it out, sweetie. And I’ll be there right by your side.” He glanced at his watch. “But tonight, I am leaving you in the capable hands of Ash and Gio, if that’s okay.”
Ah. It was Blu’s turn to have fun, away from the heterosexual world he’d been immersed in all night.
“Yeah. Go. Do you have one of your hook ups?” I asked.
He stood and pulled me to my feet. “You know it. Actually, this guy I’ve seen a couple times now. How ‘bout the three of us have brunch, some time?”