I hear movement downstairs and I know it is time to get up. This is the best part of my day. I wake up knowing I am going to get to see my Pequeña. My girl. My woman. My future. It is what glues me together for the rest of the day until I have to walk away from her and then the tatters come back.
Dressed and ready to go, I walk down the stairs hoping to grab an OJ and a banana. I see my father is in the kitchen by the coffee pot. He turns as I make it to the bottom step. “Buenos Dias, hijo. Come sit with me.” He takes a chair and motions for me to sit across from him.
“Good morning Papi. Como estas?” I grew up speaking both languages. It was important to my parents that we were bilingual, however, my father only reverts to his native tongue when he is concerned about something.
“How is school going, son?”
“So far so good.” I tell him. It is true for the most part. I mind my business and they mind theirs. I have always been ahead in all of my classes and nothing has changed.
“That's it? Nothing going on? No issues or problems?” I am wondering if someone called him about the altercation with bitchboy in the hallway. A normal parent would confront their child, reprimand, demand answers and punish. My parents are not like that. They give us a chance to come to them, otherwise they choose to believe whatever happened was justified due to how we have been raised.
“Yes, that is it.” I feel this uncanny need to tell him everything, but until I can get a handle on it, I choose not to.
“Alex, you are my youngest. My baby boy and oftentimes I feel like we neglected you somehow. Your mother thinks it is silly, but I recognize the storm inside of you my son. I used to have it too. I just want to be sure you know I love you; I have your back no matter what and if you need anything, you can come to me.” He pulls me from my chair and wraps his arms around me.
I stand in the middle of the kitchen and allow my father to embrace me because not only does he need it apparently, but so do I. I know my parents love me and I love them. The ‘storm’ he mentioned though is real and it doesn’t just come and go or ebb and flow. No. It is something dark inside of me. Like something was in place when I was born and has continued to be empty, leaving a hole where light and happiness cannot go.
I have always felt lost but when I sat beside Imogen something in me not only stirred but it clicked. I could feel puzzle pieces being put together in my mind and body. The black hole was being filled in with something other than cement. Something flowery and translucent. Something I still don’t recognize more than knowing it is all from her.
I hug my father for a few more seconds before I pull back and look him in his eyes. “Papi, I know. I never doubted any of that and even though I am working through something, I want you both to know that as soon as I have the answer, so will you.”
“Very well. Te amo, hijo.”
“Te amo, Papi.” He pats me on the face and walks out of the kitchen. I see the clock says I have twenty minutes to get to school.
I walk upstairs and see MJ and his girl, Adriel, coming down. I still can’t place where I know her from but the familiarity I feel when she is around won’t go away. I don’t realize I am staring until my brother growls. “Quit fucking staring at my wife, runt.”
I hold hands up and back up. “Damn Manny, relax.” I try to hide my smirk but fail. She giggles when she sees my grin but MJ doesn’t smile and I don’t blame him. This is how I feel about my Pequeña. I just can’t show it to everyone. “I am sorry brother.” I say to him being honest. He pulls her further into him and kisses the side of her head.
“Excuse your brother. He seems to have lost his manners and mind.” She says, patting his chest. She looks at him like he is crazy. MJ shrugs.
“As far as I am concerned it is just a formality that is going to be taken care of just as soon as my ring is on your finger.” She blushes and ducks her head. Holy fuck. My brother is serious.
“Well shit MJ. Good luck and welcome to the family.” I say to my new sister before grabbing my keys and backpack from my room. Down the stairs in a flash, I push the garage button and I hear the start of her father’s car across the street and I know I am right on time.