The only way I could see that light was to look at our Harlow. Our little miracle. And now she was lying back there on some goddamn hospital bed with tubes in her, barely hanging on to life.
All I could think about on the flight to Rosemary Beach was how I was going to wrap my hands around Grant Carter’s neck for doing this to her. He hadn’t thought about her safety; he had thought with his f**king dick. And my sweet Harlow loved the man. She wanted his kid. And he let her go through with it.
Now I was in the waiting room with everyone else. Rush tried to talk to me and calm me down. He didn’t want me agitated when Grant came back from seeing the baby that might have just killed my baby. He said Grant was a wreck. That he had been standing there like a man possessed, watching the door for a sign of Harlow. For any word.
He was scared. Good. Motherf**king good! He should be. Maybe death was too good for him. A life like mine was hell on earth. That was what he deserved. Death would be too easy for him.
I glanced back at Dean, who was sitting with Blaire, then saw that the rest of the band had found places to sit. When I’d gotten the call, they had all shown up at the airport with me. They loved my girl, too. She was their family. There was a good chance they’d kill Grant.
“Kiro,” Grant said, and I jerked my head back around to see the man responsible for this. He was wearing a pair of blue scrubs, and there were dark circles under his eyes. The pale color of his face didn’t make me feel any better.
“You killed my baby,” I snarled, unable not to take out my pain on someone.
Grant tensed, and Rush was there between us immediately. He looked fierce and ready to take me on.
“She’s alive. She’s fighting, because that’s what she does. I don’t give a damn who you are, I will have your ass removed from this hospital if you can’t keep it together. I’m sorry you’re hurting. I know you’ve got to be scared as shit. But so is he,” Rush said, pointing at Grant. “He’s f**king terrified. Losing her would destroy him. He’s already breaking apart. So don’t come in here throwing shit around and accusing him of anything. He stood by the woman he loves when she was determined to have this baby. He couldn’t force her to do something she’d never get over.”
Dean came up beside his son and put a hand on Rush’s shoulder as if to make sure I knew I wasn’t going to be able to attack Rush, either. “The boy looks like he’s been through hell. Harlow wouldn’t want this. She would want you to be here for each other. You know that, Kiro,” Dean said in a stern tone.
They were all on the boy’s side. He could have stopped this. My baby had wanted to give him a baby. She loved that baby because it was his. So hell, yes, I blamed him.
“He didn’t protect her. He could have saved us all this with something as simple as a damn condom.”
Grant closed his eyes, and I saw him tremble. Apparently, he knew that, too. He was taking the blame. Good. He needed to know that if we lost her, he was the one who killed her. Him.
“He didn’t know about her heart until the day she left him. She was pregnant before she left. She just didn’t know it,” Rush explained.
I already knew that. I didn’t care. He still should have used a condom. Respect a girl like Harlow, and protect her from your dick. It’s f**king courtesy.
“Where the f**k is Mase? His ass should be here,” I said, angry that the brother she adored wasn’t here, waiting.
“I’m right here, ass**le.”
Mase
“You did not just call him an ass**le,” Major whispered beside me.
“Watch your mouth,” my mother scolded. Although she knew he was an ass**le.
“He is an ass**le,” I replied as I glared at the man who had a part in bringing me into this world. I wouldn’t consider him a father. He was Harlow’s father, not mine. And definitely not Nan’s. He hadn’t even claimed her until she was an adult, and only after Blaire’s father shared that info with the world.
“He’s Kiro. You can’t call him an ass**le,” Major said.
Major hadn’t grown up around that part of my life. His father was my stepdad’s brother. I was kept away from Kiro’s life as much as possible. Major had traveled the world as an army brat and only knew of Kiro Manning the rock god. He didn’t know what a sucky excuse for a father he was.
“Your sister is in there dying, and the brother she f**king worships can’t find it in his cowboy schedule to get his sorry ass over here fast enough. So who’s the ass**le?” Kiro spat back at me.
My mother tensed beside me and started off after him, but I grabbed her arm. She and Kiro didn’t get along. He had been a very bad mistake during a rebellious time in her life. I still can’t figure out how she had gone that far off the deep end. But whenever I asked her about it, she would tell me it was Kiro Manning, and she had been a young girl. It was as simple as that. Then she’d remind me that she had me, which made it all worth it.
“I don’t own my own f**king jet. I had to fly commercial. I got here as fast as I could. Look at me. I’m covered in dirt, sweat, and cow shit. I didn’t even stop in the house to change. I ran for the motherf**king airport.”
My mother didn’t even try to correct my language this time.
Kiro looked somewhat appeased. He swung his gaze to Major and frowned. “Who the f**k is he?” he asked. He still hadn’t acknowledged my mother. Asshole.
“Major Colt. My cousin. Major, this is Kiro Manning.” I didn’t add that he was my father. Major knew it, and I didn’t like to remind myself or claim him as such. I put up with him because of Harlow. She was the only Manning I cared to have anything to do with. She was my little sister, and if Grant Carter didn’t look completely f**ked up right now, I’d beat the shit out of him. I needed to hit someone, and he was the only one I could think of to blame.
“You don’t have any cousins. Your last name isn’t Colt,” Kiro said in that haughty tone of his that I hated. The rock star didn’t affect me. That persona got to most people. But not his offspring. We knew better.
“Should have been,” my mother snapped, and Kiro shifted his angry glare to her. I wouldn’t let him speak down to her. I’d knock his old ass out if I had to.
“My last name is Colt-Manning. The man who raised me is a Colt,” I informed him. Kiro knew good and well that I was more a Colt than a Manning. A father was the man who was there for you, not the man who donated his sperm for the cause.
Kiro rolled his eyes and then stretched his neck by moving it from side to side. He was scared, and he was being a jerk in order not to beat the shit out of Grant. I could read him well enough to know why he was showing his worst side.
“I’m going to have a seat,” my mother said, wanting to put distance between herself and Kiro.
I nodded and watched her walk over, take a seat, and pull out her phone to call home.
“It’s a family gathering, I see,” a female voice said, one I had hoped I’d never have to hear again.
I turned toward Nan. Why was she even here? She didn’t care about Harlow. If she wasn’t a damn female, I’d punch her to get some release—and pay her back for all the hurt she’d caused Harlow.
“Didn’t expect you to be here,” I said, not even trying to hide the distaste in my tone.
She shrugged and flipped her long red hair back over her shoulder. “We all share the same daddy,” she said in a saccharine-sweet voice.
“Didn’t f**king mean anything to you before. If you’re here to move in on Grant, you can hang that idea up. In case you haven’t noticed, he’s falling apart. You’re not even on his radar.”
Nan flinched but only barely. I would have missed it had I not been watching her.
“Ease off,” Rush warned. “She stepped in and volunteered to give blood when Harlow needed a transfusion. She doesn’t deserve this from you.”
Nan had given Harlow blood? For f**king real?
“What? Are you shitting me?” I asked, looking from Rush to Kiro, who looked equally shocked.
“Don’t,” Nan told Rush. “I didn’t do it for his acceptance,” she said, then spun around and stalked off.
Rush watched the sister we shared walk off with concern on his face. He had grown up with Nan. They’d been raised by the same selfish, shitty mom. Rush was the only person who loved Nan, and I respected that, but he overlooked a lot from her.
“Since she was ten years old, I haven’t seen her do anything for anyone but herself. I haven’t seen her show compassion or concern for anyone. I haven’t seen her attempt to show others that she has a heart under all that bitterness. Until today. She didn’t even hesitate. The doctor said they needed Harlow’s blood type, and it would be best coming from a family member. Nan stood up and offered without a second thought.”
That didn’t make sense. That wasn’t Nan. She didn’t give without trying to manipulate something or someone. But right now, I didn’t care. She had helped Harlow when she needed it most. I could forgive a lot for that.
Rush turned and walked over to Blaire, and Kiro went to lean against the nearest wall. I turned to look for Grant and found him standing with his arms crossed over his chest as he watched the two double doors the doctor had gone through as if he was waiting for him to return.
“OK, the redhead is your sister, too? Damn, she’s hot. How many hot sisters do you have, and how the hell didn’t I know about that one?”
I ignored Major. He didn’t know Nan. He had no idea what she was like. If he was smart, he never would. He’d go back to Texas and forget about my other sister. I had.
Grant
Two days later
“Mr. Carter?” a voice said as a hand touched my arm and shook it. My eyes snapped open, and I blinked, looking up at the nurse standing over me. “I’m sorry to wake you, but the doctor just came in and checked on Lila Kate. You’ve been cleared to hold her if you’re ready.”
Hold her. I had watched over her for two days while waiting for them to tell me I could see Harlow.
“Harlow? Can I see her?” I wanted to see Harlow first. I wanted to tell her about Lila Kate. I also wanted her to wake up and be there when I held the baby for the first time. I didn’t want to do that without Harlow.
The nurse smiled. “Actually, that’s the other thing I was going to tell you. She’s stable, and although she still hasn’t opened her eyes, it’s safe for you to see her. Her cardiologist said she’d want to see you before her father. He thinks your voice will give her something to fight for.”
I glanced over at my sleeping daughter. I was ready to hold her. She’d been holding my finger and staring at me as I talked to her continually. She was a good baby, the nurses said. She didn’t cry a lot, but when she did cry, she raised hell. Which only made me smile.
“I want to see Harlow first,” I told the nurse, and she nodded and opened the door.
“Let’s go, then.”
I started to follow her, then stopped. I turned back and walked over to Lila Kate. I reached inside and rubbed her little sleeping face. “I’m going to see Mommy now. Wish me luck,” I whispered.
When I finally followed the nurse out the door, I noticed she had watery eyes. If she only knew. I had two angels in this world, and I would do anything to save them both. I wanted that life Harlow and I had planned and dreamed about. She just had to wake up.
“You need to be prepared before you go in there. She’s hooked up to a few machines. We were able to take off the oxygen mask; she’s doing so well that we aren’t worried about her breathing purified air. But she still has a feeding tube in her throat. Just know that’s food, not oxygen. There are dark circles under her eyes, and she’s lost some weight. Just know she’s doing better than expected after what she went through. Most women don’t survive that.”
When the door opened, the pain in my chest felt like an explosion. She was so helpless, and she seemed so small on that hospital bed. She had been alone in here without me for almost three days. I hated not being able to be with her. It made me physically ill to think she might believe I’d abandoned her.
“I’ll be right outside the door if you need me,” the nurse said before closing it.
I walked over to the side of the bed and touched her hand. It was cool. It needed my warmth. “Hey, sweet girl. I’m here. I’ve been waiting for them to tell me I could come see you. I’ve been telling Lila Kate all about you. She’s ready to see her mommy. I think I have someone who understands just how much I love you now, because it’s obvious she does, too,” I said, trying my hardest not to crack.
I didn’t want her upset. I wanted to sound upbeat and give her strength. I wanted her to know I believed she could pull out of this.
“You have a waiting room full of people who love you. Rush and Blaire have been here since moments after they rolled you away from me. Nate’s even stopped by to visit everyone. Della and Woods and Mase are here. Mase even brought Major with him. And your dad is here, along with the entire band. It’s causing some excitement in the hospital. Having every member of Slacker Demon hanging out in the waiting room and ordering pizza is more excitement than this place has seen in a while.”