She ignored his concern and smiled politely at Mr Svenson. ‘Can I help you with something, Clarke?’
‘Oh...um...er...’
‘It’s handled,’ Pietro said firmly, standing.
Clarke Svenson followed his lead, smiling kindly at Emmeline as he moved as quickly as possible towards the door.
As soon as they were alone, Emmeline whipped around to face her husband. ‘What was that all about?’
Pietro expelled a sigh and reached down for his coffee cup. He took a sip and she realised, with a sudden flash of guilt, that he hardly looked his best either. He looked tired, and she hated the way her heart twisted in acknowledgement of the fact.
‘There are the usual scum looking to get in on your father’s will. Long-lost second cousins twice removed—that sort of thing.’ He rolled his eyes. ‘It’s being handled.’
Her eyes were round in her face. ‘By you?’
‘Si. Someone has to evaluate the claims on their merits.’ He moved towards her, slowly, cautiously, as though she were a skittish horse he needed to calm.
She nodded, but without understanding. ‘And you’ve been doing that?’
‘Si.’
‘Why?’
‘Because I’m your husband,’ he said softly. ‘Because you needed me to.’
His eyes ran across her face and he took a step closer, but she shook her head.
‘And because my father expected you to,’ she added softly.
So much of what they were came back to that, and Emmeline couldn’t shake the feeling that she’d been traded. That she was not so much an asset as a bad debt that her father had needed to hand off before he’d died.
Her grief was never-ending.
‘We must talk,’ he murmured gently.
‘I know. But I’m not... I can’t... I can’t. Not... I’m not...ready.’
‘Okay—that’s okay. I understand.’
‘God, stop being so understanding. Stop being so kind. I don’t want you here, picking up all these pieces. No matter how kind you are now, nothing can change what happened.’
He ground his teeth together, his eyes clashing with hers. ‘I hated lying to you.’
‘That’s bull. You aren’t the kind of man who would do anything he hated.’
‘It was the perfect rock and a hard place,’ he said with understated determination. ‘Your father made me swear I wouldn’t tell you...’
‘How did you think I’d forgive this?’ she asked. ‘How did you think we’d move past it?’
‘I don’t know,’ he said honestly. ‘But I knew we would. I know we will.’
‘How? How can we?’
‘Because I am me, and you are you, and together we have found something so special, so unique, that it is irreplaceable.’ His eyes forced hers to meet his, and the challenge was impossible to ignore. ‘I worried about you not knowing. I worried about you finding out and about you losing your father. I worried about your anger and your hurt. But I never once thought it would be the end for us.’
He stared at her still, his eyes begging her to see, to understand.
‘Can you look at me now and think there is a life which we don’t share?’
‘It was all a lie.’ She was numb.
‘Nothing about what we are was a lie.’
‘Yes, it was! You were my... You woke me up, remember? With you I became a proper, full person. I felt whole and mature, and the most like myself I’ve ever felt. And really you were just an extension of Daddy. Managing me and infantilising me out of a mistaken belief that I can’t look after myself. I thought you saw me as an equal, but instead I was your obligation.’
‘At first,’ he said, the words a thick concession. ‘But you dressed me down at our wedding and I knew that Col was wrong about you. You were naïve, yes, but not weak. Not incapable of handling yourself.’
He reached out and took her hand in his, and his relief at her letting him hold it was immense.
‘I’m not here to protect you. I’m here because I need you—and right now you need me. That’s marriage.’ He stroked the soft flesh of her inner wrist. ‘I want more than anything to be married to you. Not because your father sought it, but because of who you are and what we have come to mean to one another.’
The words were like little blades, scraping against the walls she’d been building brick by brick around her heart.
And yet she wasn’t ready.
She couldn’t forgive him.
‘It’s too soon. Too much.’ She blinked away tears and pulled her hand back to herself. ‘If you’d slept with another woman I would find it easier to forgive.’