CHAPTER 1
I sit on the couch next to my sisters as our father pontificates yet again about the state of this country. I don't know why I am still sitting here after all these years of listening to him. Oh, wait. I know why. Despite being twenty-one years old, I am unmarried, which means everything in this family. There are a ton of things that I am not allowed to do. ALLOWED to do. I am not allowed to go to college or have a job. A good, pious girl can be tempted outside her father's home, which just won't do. Thankfully, I went to public high school, but I wasn't allowed to participate in any activities that the church didn't sanction. No homecoming, no prom, no sporting events. Nothing that could be considered fun.
My father, John, is the pastor of Community Christian Church in Clover, Ohio and his word is the law around here. Even my mother, Agnes, is brainwashed by him. She is seeing to my "home education," as she calls it. She's teaching me the skills I'll need to turn a house into a home. Cooking, cleaning, cocktail making, how to raise a child. Everything outside of the bedroom that will please my husband, whoever my father decides he'll be. She has told me that anything goes in the bedroom, and my husband will guide me in what pleases him there. I made the mistake of asking if my father pleases her. She slapped me across my face and told me that God-fearing women don't need to be pleased. All I could do was nod, but right then and there, I decided that I couldn't live like that, and I won't be. While I believe in God and that all things are possible through our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, I don't believe he means for women to be so subservient to their husbands that they don't know their own minds. Somewhere along the way, things got twisted. From that perversion, this… sect of Christianity grew. My father and men of his ilk have done this and I want no part of it. I want to be happy. I want to be content. I want to make my husband happy too, but not like that. Just being my father's daughter weighs heavily on my soul; there's no way I could marry a man like him on God's green Earth. I'd rather die.
So, I am biding my time until I can get out of here and away from this… cult-like atmosphere. I love my sisters, Aasta, Imogen, and Rayna, but they seem to eat this shit up. I am not as close to them as I would like to be, but if I can't be myself in this house, neither can they. We are more like acquaintances than sisters. I can't even talk to them about anything real or non-church-related because I am pretty sure every room in this place, but the bathroom is bugged, and to be honest, I wouldn't be surprised if it was too. As the oldest, I should have their backs more, but my father won't allow that. It's his way or the highway, and the highway is looking better and better every day. It's exhausting keeping up with what we can and can't do. I don't know how my mother does it. Going to public school, I heard things. Naughty things. Things I wouldn't have thought of. I heard things about pleasure and self-pleasure, but there is no way I can thoroughly explore that. Not in this house. As it is, none of the doors lock, and there isn't an ounce of privacy to be had anywhere. We each have our own room, but we are not allowed to sleep with the door closed; we can only get dressed or shower with a closed door, but I've managed to learn a thing or two about my body.