He takes everything in his stride, this creature who has no right to my life or my future and yet wants to claim both. I think I need to leave. Now. If I stay as long as I wanted to in order to make sure nothing goes wrong with my pregnancy, I may end up being roped in by guilt, obligation, and a creeping sense of normality that is more insidious and dangerous than any other means of control.
7
It is the middle of the night, and I am making my escape. It has been four weeks since my arrival. Four weeks and I have not bled. I might be pregnant. I cannot guarantee it, but I also cannot afford to wait and find out. Things are starting to come to a head. I can feel it. I do not have much time left if I want to make a clean break. Every day I am here things get more complex. I have an instinct that tells me now is the time. Right now.
I have had time to plan my passage out of the house. It is not built like a prison and so there were inevitably going to be dozens of pathways out. I choose a side balcony not far from the yawning abyss. It has little foot traffic, and using materials scavenged from the old harem, I have constructed a rope of materials I can climb down.
I have some supplies, some food, water, and what I could swipe from the interior of the house to trade and bribe my way off the planet. I am old news now. It might amuse some Dinavri male to help me leave, especially if he is no fan of Sithren.
Wearing a heavy cloak to obscure my face, and heavy clothing that hides the feminine and human shape of my body, I slip out and into the night. It is easier than even I thought it would be. Sithren has not kept me under lock and key, nor has he posted heavy guard. I wonder if he thought he had me where he wanted me already. His arrogance might well have been his downfall here.
I know my way to the port, and more importantly, I know my way to the bar that sits on the port, where unsavory characters gather as they have gathered at every port since time immemorial. My journey through the city is swift and efficient. If I do this correctly, I will be off the planet before Sithren knows I have left his house. He will not find me again. I will shed my identity, my name, I will change my appearance. I will disappear forever.
I feel strange little pangs of something like guilt, but I also know that I have nothing to be guilty for. I am doing the right thing. The only thing I can be expected to do. Sithren’s attempts at domesticating me have failed. He is as wrong about the Authority as he accuses me of being about his culture. They did not use me as a tool. I made myself a tool a long time ago. I chose my path in the world, and when it came time to want a family, I chose the independent route there too. I have no desire to depend on a man, in any sense. Not even one as powerful and charismatic as Sithren.
The bar is busy with Dinavri sailors and a few alien species the Authority does not officially acknowledge. I can agree that my old bosses were arrogant. And no, they never cared what happened to me. The notion that species only exist if the Authority deems them to is just one of the weaknesses in their agenda.
I would kill to know who betrayed me, but that would involve going back to Authority space, and I don’t think I want to do that. I think I want to go deeper, wilder. I want to find an unspoiled little corner of existence lightly inhabited by a non-hostile species and retire to motherhood.
“He’ll never see it coming.”
That phrase leaps out of the general background of chatter in a very unpleasant way. I don’t know why. There are dozens of soldiers and sailors making worse threats all around me, but I hear that and my ears zero in on it.
I sidle a little closer. The conversation is taking place between a solid contingent of soldiers and criminal types. At least two dozen. More like a small militia than a group of friends at a bar, now I think about it.
“Rumors are true. Got someone on the inside when he doubled the guard. Harem is empty. Doesn’t have any wives. Just that human animal.”
There’s the reason my senses locked onto the words. They’re talking about Sithren. And they’re talking about me. I snug a little closer still, and I listen, until what I am hearing makes me realize I’m not going to be able to escape tonight. Maybe not ever.