Fortunately, no one noticed. And if they did, they didn’t give me shit about it. After all, I was their boss. They didn’t want to get on my bad side. If they did, they wouldn’t see the light of day again.
Vanilla went to work early that morning, so I didn’t see her. But Bruce told me she took the car to work, so she didn’t test me. After what she saw last night, she probably realized I was a bear in a den. Provoke me, and you might die.
I didn’t want her to see me like that. She must have woken up when she got cold and realized my body wasn’t there to keep her warm. If only she hadn’t gotten up to explore, she wouldn’t have seen me at a low and intoxicated point.
I probably should have apologized.
But I wouldn’t.
After work, I went home and found her in the kitchen like usual. She was making something in the slow cooker, and judging by the smell, it was another delicious creation. But I didn’t have an appetite. All I really wanted to do was take some pain killers and go to sleep.
I walked into the kitchen to greet her. “Something smells good.”
She looked at me over her shoulder, but she returned her attention to the dish. When she didn’t say anything, I knew I was getting the silent treatment.
“How was your day?”
“I just want to be alone right now. Go away.” She mocked the words I’d said to her the evening before.
And they hurt. “I was wasted, Vanilla. I didn’t want you to see me like that.”
“Then don’t drink. Problem solved.” She placed the lid on top of the pot then turned off the heat. “It’s ready if you’re hungry.”
I wasn’t. “I’m a man. And men drink.”
She rolled her eyes exaggeratedly. “Don’t make excuses for your actions. That’s such a turn-off.”
“What would you rather I say? I like to get drunk so I can’t feel? That I like to get drunk so I can’t remember my nightmare the next morning?”
She stilled at the counter, her eyes downcast.
“That if I don’t drink until I pass out, I’ll just have the nightmares all over again? That it stops me from leaving the house and doing something I’ll regret? That it helps me cope with a past I can’t change? Would you rather me say all that?”
She continued to stare at the ground, unable to meet my gaze.
“I didn’t think so.” I walked away and headed to the stairs. After a shower, I would go into my office so I could think without her judgmental eyes drilling into my face.
Her heels echoed behind me and stopped before she reached me. “Actually, yes.”
I slowly turned around and stared at her short frame. A little over five feet, she was a tiny woman. But she had the curves and the style to make her look like the tallest woman in any room. Her slender figure didn’t make her appear weak. The fire in her eyes and her stance made her formidable.
“I would much rather have an honest conversation about what’s happening than watch a drunk man sit alone in the dark.” She gave me a fiery look before she turned around and walked back into the kitchen. She always had to have the last word.
And I always had to have the last word.
I marched back inside and cornered her against the counter. I didn’t touch her, but my proximity was enough to make her press back against the cabinet, keeping as much distance between us as possible. “What do you want from me?”
“I made that clear.”
“No. You didn’t.”
Her hands gripped the edge of the counter but her back remained perfectly straight. Even if she was afraid of me, she didn’t show it. “For one, I want an apology.”
“For what, exactly?”
“For you being a shithead last night.”
My mouth remained shut.
“And two, I don’t want you to shut me out.”
I couldn’t do either one of those things.
“Calloway, you want me to do things for you that I don’t agree with. And I do them to compromise. I do them because I want to be closer to you. But I won’t keep making sacrifices unless you make some too. So what’s it gonna be?”
Times like these made me miss Isabella. With her, I could get away with whatever I wanted and never have to deal with the repercussions. If I told her to shut up, she did. If I told her to leave me alone, she obeyed. Like an animal, she followed my commands without ever complaining. Rome was nothing like that and probably never would be. She forced me to confront things I’d rather not think about, and just when I thought I was getting my way, she turned my world upside down.
“I didn’t hear you.” She continued to peer into my face, giving me that ice-cold expression. She laid down the law without seeming bossy. She was too intelligent for her own good, too strong for any opponent. She made me feel more like a man because I had to combat her. But she also made me feel less like a man because I couldn’t control her. “Hello?”