Jackson had always slacked off when we were growing up. He never had the patience to sit and listen to instruction. I was never a big fan of school either, but his concentration was worse than mine. “Give it time.”
“No, man. I want you to take it back. I miss fucking around all the time. I hate sitting in the office, away from the festivities.”
“You’re being serious?” Hope surged in my heart because I knew I wanted it. I missed being in the dark with the rest of the devils. It was where I belonged. In fact, I belonged in hell.
“Absolutely. Come in and sign the papers.”
“You’re sure?” Running Ruin would get my mind off the brunette who stole my heart. I needed anything to distract me right now—anything at all.
“Yes,” he said with a sigh. “Stop making me repeat myself. I miss getting paid to do nothing. It was a lot easier back then.”
I wanted to laugh, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. “Alright. You convinced me.”
“Awesome. I’m behind on bills and everything else…so you have that to look forward to.”
I rolled my eyes, still surprised by Jackson’s inadequacy. “You can pay most of that shit online.”
“But I always forget the password…”
“You can’t just not pay bills,” I argued. “That’s how businesses go under.”
“I know, I know. That’s why you need to get back in here.”
“Apparently.” I grabbed the large bottle and brought it back to my lips, taking a large drink that I would probably regret later.
“So…now what?”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re just going to go back to what you were before?”
The idea sounded so unappealing. I wanted to be a Dom again, but I didn’t want another sub besides Rome. I would never feel that exquisite passion again. I would never come so hard my heart nearly gave out.
I would never feel alive again.
But at least I would be in control. “Eventually. Right now, I just need some time.”
“Well, I’m here if you need anything.”
“I know, Jackson.” Jackson was an ass most of the time, but I couldn’t recall a time when he wasn’t there for me. No matter what tension existed between us, we put it aside when it came to each other’s well-being. “I’ll talk to you later.”
“Alright. You know I’m just a phone call away.”
“Yeah, I know.” I hung up and tossed the phone on the table. The screen was lit up for a few seconds before it turned black again. I hadn’t changed my wallpaper yet because it was too difficult. It still had a picture of Rome sleeping on my chest, her hair a mess from where I’d fisted it just minutes previously. I should take the photo off because it was painful to look at. It reminded me of the fact that I would never sleep well again as long as I lived—not without her.
But I still couldn’t do it.
And I had a feeling I never would.
I finally went back to work the following week. I knew I couldn’t avoid Rome forever, and I had to get it over with. Perhaps seeing her on a regular basis would make me less affected by her.
But I doubted it.
I stayed in my office and concentrated on work as much as possible. If I stopped, even for a second, my mind returned back to the fiery brunette on the other side of the building. And since I wasn’t drunk, it was even more difficult for me to keep steady with my emotions.
Was she as devastated?
That was a stupid question. Of course, she was. She didn’t have any time to prepare for the heartbreaking end to our relationship. At least I knew the end was coming before it finally arrived.
Because I was an ass.
I tried to finish a report, but I kept thinking about her, missing the way her body felt underneath my fingertips. I tried sleeping last night, but that didn’t get me anywhere. I just lay in bed the entire night. When I did fall asleep, I had a nightmare about losing her.
But then I realized that wasn’t a dream.
Unable to stop myself, I called Christopher.
He was probably at work, but he worked in his own office so he usually answered the phone. I hoped he would because I really need to speak to him.
When he answered, his voice was emotionless. It wasn’t clear whether he hated me or didn’t give a damn about me at all. “How can I help you?”
I wasn’t naïve enough to expect a different reaction from him. “You know why I’m calling.”
Christopher sighed into the phone before the sound of typing entered the background. He was probably sitting at his desk, finishing up an email. “She’s a complete mess. But you already knew that, Calloway.”
“For what it’s worth, I’m just as fucked up.”
“No offense, but I don’t really care how you feel. Whatever my personal opinion is on the matter, I’m on her side. You broke her heart, and that’s all I need to know.”