“Yeah, I did.” I knew that made me lose the argument, but I didn’t care. “Only because you wouldn’t tell me anything yourself.”
“Maybe I just wasn’t ready to say anything.”
“If you love me, you should be ready,” I snapped. “You’ve never really let me in me, Rome. You can blame me for the downfall of this relationship, but you’re the one at fault.”
“Wow.” She shot me a glare. “You have a lot of nerve.”
“I don’t have enough nerve, actually. I’m the one who’s changed. I’m the one who’s pushed the boundaries and made sacrifices to be what you need. I’ve never done the boyfriend thing before. I’ve never had a woman live with me. I’ve never loved someone, let alone told them that. I’ve grown, Rome. I’ve sacrificed everything I possibly can to make this work. What sacrifices have you made?”
Her lips were pressed together, clearly having no rebuttal.
“You haven’t made any, Rome. If you really trusted me, really loved me, we could make this work. You would be my sub with the same perfection that I’ve been your boyfriend. You want to keep me away from Ruin? Then do this for me. You can’t blame me for getting my needs met elsewhere. If I weren’t willing to give you what you needed, you would have left a long time ago. So stop treating me like a monster. Stop treating me like I’m some kind of asshole. I’m more than just a Dom. If you don’t see that, then you obviously don’t know me very well.”
She threw the door open so she could get out.
I yanked on her arm and pulled her back inside. We were at a red light, and the car was about to move. “Don’t bother. I’ll go.” I practically broke the door off its hinges as I got out. Then I slammed the door so hard the car shook.
I stepped onto the sidewalk and didn’t look back. No one was out on this side of town because they were on the main streets. It was dangerous and stupid for a woman to be walking around here at night. No way in hell was I going to let Rome walk in that dress. She wouldn’t last ten minutes.
I walked back to my house with my hands in my pockets, my jaw tight with anger. I was so livid I could barely see straight. The woman I loved was sitting in the back seat of my car. I’d given her the world, but she wouldn’t give me something so minor.
She wouldn’t give me anything.
This was probably just the anger talking, but I needed to move on and forget about her. I’d always been man enough for her, but she’d never been woman enough for me. She didn’t bend over backward for me, not the way I did for her. I admit what I did with Isabella was wrong, but Rome forced my hand.
Now I was officially over it.
I was over her.
12
Rome
Now I was a hollow shell.
I wasn’t sure what possessed me to ask a question when I didn’t want the answer. I wasn’t sure what my expectations were. Calloway made his feelings about our relationship very clear. He needed more than what I was willing to give him.
After everything he said to me, I knew there was no hope for us now.
And not ever.
I kept thinking about what he said, that I hadn’t sacrificed as much as he had to keep this relationship going. I didn’t agree with that initially, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized how much he’d changed.
He gave up his ownership of Ruin for me.
He asked me to move in with him.
He told me he loved me.
He introduced me to his mother.
All the things he refused to do with anyone, he did them for me. He even tried to give up his lifestyle in the pursuit of vanilla with me. It was all he’d ever known, and he tried to walk away from it.
I didn’t even try to be what he needed.
I was so averse to the idea, so offended by how he wanted to treat me, that I never really gave it a chance.
I couldn’t lie to myself about that.
But I still didn’t want to do it. I loved how aggressive and authoritative he could be sometimes, but I didn’t want a whip to my back or a slap to my ass. I didn’t want to be treated as inferior when I worked so hard to be respected.
But this was a deal-breaker for him.
I went through the motions during the week, going to work and then going straight to my room when I got home. I spent a lot of time reading because it was the only thing strong enough to steal my focus. When I wasn’t actively doing something, my thoughts constantly wandered to Calloway.