CHAPTER NINE
AARON
“Aaron?” Doug, my VP of marketing was looking at me strangely. We were sitting in our regular Monday morning meeting and I guess my mind had drifted off topic. I had no idea what he’d just said. “Are you okay?” he asked me. Doug had worked for me for years. He’d never had cause to ask me if I was okay before this.
“I’m fine. I just have a lot on my mind. I’m sorry, Doug. Can you repeat that?”
He was talking about advertisement for the products we distributed to New Zealand. He’d enlisted a production company to shoot short videos and television ads. It was going to cost a fortune, but start-up always did. I never let cost get in the way of a good business decision. Today, I just didn’t care either way. I let him give his spiel for the second time that morning I suppose, and then I let Hal, my Chief financial officer barter with him about the cost. I’d hardly even processed what he’d said. My mind was definitely elsewhere; a few floors down to be exact. I’d been thinking about Robyn almost constantly since… well, I guess since the day I saw her step off the elevator if I’m being honest with myself. That was what started it all. It was why I’d even been at that auction in the first place. If I had been thinking then, I would have known it was too close to Christmas to get so close to anyone. Then I’d agreed to go to that fair. Against my own better judgment, I’d had a good time… too good.
“Aaron?” This time it was Hal bringing me back to the present.
“Yes?”
“I asked if you would be okay with those figures…”
“Oh, um… what was it, exactly?” I asked.
He repeated them and then said, “Are you sure you’re alright?” Now, everyone at the table was looking at me strangely. I needed to remember that I had a position to uphold here.
“Yes, I’m sure. I apologize to all of you. I don’t mean to waste your time this morning. I have something urgent that I should deal with. I trust your judgment on this Hal, and you too Doug. Go ahead and arrange it for whatever Hal thinks the right budget will be and I’ll sign for it.” I looked at Sheila then; she was taking notes for the agenda. Janice usually did that, but she was busy working on plans for the Christmas party. It was another thing I didn’t want to think about at the moment. “Just transfer whatever else is on the agenda to next Monday, unless it’s urgent. If so, star it and Janice can bring it up with me later in the week.”
“Yes sir,” Sheila said, standing up. The rest of the executives at the table were still looking at me strangely, but they got up from it and before they finally left me completely alone, Hal hung back to speak to me.
“Is this about the meeting with Xiong this evening? Are there problems you’re anticipating?” The meeting was important, crucial actually. Winters needed to branch out into broader markets with the economy the way it was here in the states. We’d gone into Russia and New Zealand so far and dabbled a bit in the U.K., and now we were looking at China. But I didn’t anticipate any problems. I had all my ducks in a row for the meeting. Hal was a worrier though, so I wasn’t surprised that was where his mind had gone.
“No Hal. That meeting should go just as planned. It’s a personal matter. But, I’m fine, really.”
He gave me a nod and the meeting finally disbursed. I could understand why they were all so alarmed by my behavior. It was definitely unlike me to be so absent during a meeting. I was always on point and I was angry with myself over being distracted today. I never let myself get so off track. That reminded me of what Robyn had said about going off track and making new discoveries. I had discovered plenty by staying on track, hadn’t I? I was focused and driven, that was what had led to my success at such a young age. I started this company with very little and now look where we were at.
I was willing and able to put aside things that other young men held up as priorities, such as attachments to pretty women. I never got attached to women. I had plenty of dates, and plenty of women who wanted to attach themselves to me but I just never let it happen. Robyn was just so different though. I wasn’t used to a woman who was so blatantly enthusiastic about life. Not material things, not money… just life.
She’d wanted to pay for everything that day at the park. That was another thing I wasn’t used to. It wasn’t that I minded paying for things. God knows I have more money than I could spend in a lifetime even if I tried. But, somehow it felt more human to have someone buy you a sandwich or a cup of coffee for a change, especially someone who knew I could afford to buy my own. I didn’t get the feeling that she was trying to attach herself to me either. I got that feeling from a lot of women. I mean… I think she likes me, but not the me that most people want to be attached to, Aaron Winters, CEO, the guy with the power and the money. She liked the Aaron on his ass on the ice, and the one who felt compelled to beat a silly twelve year old at a silly midway game. I can’t remember the last time that someone liked that Aaron. Heck, I couldn’t even remember the last time that I was that Aaron. Robyn had brought that out in me, the guy who wasn’t afraid of relinquishing a bit of control and having fun. I think that’s what it was about her that had gotten under my skin.
I’d gotten so caught up in it all that day that I had kissed her. It was an amazing kiss. It was the kind that sent electric currents running down your spine and into your toes. I wanted nothing more than to deepen that kiss, but instead, I’d run away like a coward and left her standing there alone. I’d probably be lucky if she ever wanted to speak to me again. Someday she was going to see something like whatever it is that she saw in me in another guy. He’d end up with her and I would be right where I am today, rich and lonely. Lately the only time the feeling of loneliness went away was when I was with Robyn.
The kiss was two days ago though and I haven’t seen her or called her. I’ve never been afraid of anything in my life. When my parents died I knew instinctively that I was going to be the only person that I could count on for the rest of my life. I’d learned to do everything from that point on, by myself, and none of it frightened me. It motivated me, in fact. Robyn, and the way that kiss had made me feel frightened me to no end. I’d had plenty of kisses, but none of them hit me in the gut the way that one had. The fact that it frightened me made me angry with myself.
I sat at that desk in the empty conference room staring at the walls wondering if I should call her. Should I just go down there and talk to her? I’d love to see her. Her energy alone infects me. I hadn’t realized until the moment I’d become infected by it that something was missing in my life. I thought I had everything I wanted or needed. The rest of it was just extraneous and usually required more time and attention than I had or wanted to spare, and if it did I’d always just walked away and left it behind me. Perhaps I should stay up here in my ivory tower and let whatever it is that I feel for her and she feels for me fade away. Surely if I just stay away from her now, the feelings will eventually fade. It wasn’t like I was in love with her…