“You know Hayley pretty well, right?” Hayley was the newest paid intern in our department. I had actually recommended her for the job. I knew her well, we’d had a lot of college courses together and had become good friends. Hayley recently moved into the city and was looking for a job. We hadn’t had any full-time positions open but we did have the paid intern role. Her student loans were coming due so she was willing to take what she could get. I thought she was so well-qualified that she’d move into the first full-time spot that opened up.
“Yeah. I know her pretty well, why?” I was getting the feeling that since Gary found out about Aaron and me and had given up hope there; he was beginning to set his sights on Hayley. She’s a beautiful girl, dark haired and petite with big brown eyes that make her look like a doll.
“I really like her,” he said. “I’ve been trying to work up my nerve to ask her out, but as you well know, I’m not good at reading
women. I’m not sure if she would be interested and I’m not sure that I can handle being shot down too many more times. Women keep telling me I need to learn how to take a hint. I guess I need to learn how to recognize them first. Or better yet, learn how to fascinate women so they’ll want to keep me around instead of dropping hints for me to go away.”
I was trying to suppress a smile. Gary was right, he wasn’t good at reading women at all. I guess it was a step in the right direction that he was beginning to realize that.
“What would you like me to do, Gary?”
“Well, I’ve had lunch with her a few times here in the cafeteria and she’s told me that she’s single. She laughs at my jokes and she seems genuinely interested in what I talk about. Do you think I can take all of that as a sign that she’d be interested in going out with me?”
“Can I be honest with you, Gary? I don’t want to hurt your feelings.”
“It’s okay,” he said. “I’m not a wimp. I just can’t figure out what it is about me that repels women.”
I laughed then and said, “You do not repel women, Gary. Here’s the deal, you’re an attractive and successful man, you can be very funny, you’re intelligent and well-informed, but with all that going for you what you seem to be lacking is confidence. One thing that I look for in a man is confidence. I like to see that he knows he has a lot to offer. I don’t want to be with a man that’s going to need me to constantly reassure him. I want a man who feels like I compliment him, not one that thinks he’s “completed” by me. Does that make sense?”
“So, if I had been more confident and less needy you would have gone out with me?”
I smiled and said, “Maybe, but there’s no going back. You have to move forward. Hold your head up high and be genuinely proud of yourself and your accomplishments. You have to remember that dating is usually a series of trials and errors. It’s rare that anyone is going to find “the one” right off the bat. If one girl doesn’t work out don’t internalize it. I have a feeling that’s what has happened to your confidence. If you want to ask her out, don’t do it worrying about where it’s going to go beyond the first date. Take her out, have fun and go from there. Your confidence will build each time it works.”
He was nodding and then he said, “So what about Hayley? Do you think she’ll go out with me?”
I laughed again, wondering if he processed a word of what I’d just said, “You’ll never know if you don’t ask her, Gary. Just remember that if she says no, it’s not a reflection of who you are. The more you practice that self-confidence, the more it will shine and begin to attract women that are of the caliber you deserve.”
He stood up and said, “Aaron’s lucky. I hope he knows that.”
My smile was bittersweet as I said, “I’m the lucky one and I remind myself of that daily.”
When Gary left the office I clicked back onto what I was working on. I had a flashing email icon and I clicked on it. It was from Aaron and it said, “Thinking of you. I hope you’re having a beautiful day. I love you.”
I replied to it saying, “Thinking of you, always. I love you too.”
I got up and closed my office door. For the next half hour I cried for the integrity I was slowly losing. Once it was out of my system, albeit temporarily, I cleaned myself up, pulled up my big girl panties and got back to work.
~
CHAPTER FOUR
~
ROBYN
Aaron and I had dinner that Friday night at an out of the way Indian restaurant in SoHo. I wasn’t surprised that the staff there seemed to know him as well as everyone else. We sat at a table lower to the ground than my coffee table on big, over stuffed pillows with paisley print and we ate course after course of spicy food, surrounded by the smells of burning incense and the sounds of East Indian music. It was amazing and afterwards I was so stuffed I could barely walk.
When we got outside I told Aaron, “If you keep feeding me like this I’m going to weigh two hundred pounds soon.” He grinned and gave my backside a gentle squeeze. “There will just be more of you to pat and squeeze and make love to.”
Laughing I said, “As much as I appreciate the sentiment, I really do need to cut back a little on the eating out. I should start making us dinner at home.”
He took me by the hand and I thought we were walking to his car. Instead we strolled down the crowded sidewalk underneath the twinkling lights of the always lively clubs of SoHo. He stopped walking and just as I turned my face up towards his, he brought his lips down onto my mouth. It was just a gentle sweet kiss, the kind that worked like an appetizer, they satisfied at the moment, but somehow left you wanting more. He grinned at me again when he pulled his face up.
“Because I have been feeding you too much and because you’re worried about your weight, although I have no complaints, I’ve decided to work exercise into our dates. Tonight we start with dancing… the best exercise on the market.”
I looked up at the sign behind him. We were in front of a place called “Aqua.” It was a popular club. I’d gone out with Melissa and Natasha for a girl’s night out here one time. It was a wild night. What