“He already loves you so much, Teller. This doesn’t change anything,” she whispers against my ear.
Sweet Hope with a comforting lie. “Thank you, Hope.”
The door closes behind her with a soft click.
“Come here, knucklehead.” Rock opens his arms wide.
I snort at the nickname, then stare at him, unsure I want any physical contact at the moment. My hesitation doesn’t deter Rock. He pulls me in close. It’s awkward as fuck. The urge to shove him away burns through my arms.
“What do we do?” I mumble.
Instead of answering, he pushes me toward one of the chairs, then pulls his closer to me. “What do you want to do?”
What do I want to do? I’m a grown-ass man who just had his entire history rearranged. “Fuck, I don’t know.” I scrub my hands over my face, searching for an answer that will make sense. “Can we take the test again? I want to… I want to be sure before…” The lab fucked up once already. What if this is all a big mistake? There has to be something I can do to regain control of my life.
Rock opens his mouth like he wants to say no, but then nods. “I’ll ask Hope if she can schedule it for us.”
Poor Hope. I’ve been kind of shitty to her in the past—thank you, mother issues—but I’ve grown to love and respect her a lot. And now, she’ll probably resent the fuck out of me.
“Christ, we’ve joked about you being Dad for years.” And don’t all those jokes Murphy and I made sound a lot different now.
“Well, I knew who Murphy’s mother was, so I’m definitely not his father too.”
Murphy’s the one who deserves to have Rock as his father. Not me.
I push the thought away. “You think Carla knew and that’s why she was always such a bitch to us?”
Rock blinks at the mention of his ex-wife. “I think she was just jealous of anyone else who had my attention.”
“Hope’s not like that,” I say. “Shit, this is the worst timing. You’re finally about to have your first kid and now this. Christ, this is so fucked up. Do you want me to leave? Take off for a while so I’m not in your face?”
“What the fuck for?”
“I don’t want to be in the way or fuck stuff up for you guys when this is supposed to be—”
“Stop right there. You’re not in the way. You’re my son.”
It still sounds so unnatural, no matter how hard Rock’s trying to normalize this situation.
“The question you should be asking is are you ready to be a big brother again when you’re about to settle down and have your own family?” Rock seems to be reaching for a light, kidding tone but I’m not feeling it.
The reminder that Charlotte and I have our own secret we’ve been waiting to share punches me in the stomach. Then there’s the reminder of all the shady things I had to do as a kid to keep Heidi safe. That won’t be an issue with Rock’s kid…my little sister. “Yeah, at least I won’t have to break into garages and steal shit to feed the baby waitin’ at home for me. You sure you’re having a girl? I don’t know if I can handle another little hellraiser like Heidi.” Aw, fuck. How am I going to explain this to Heidi?
“I don’t want to explain this to Heidi right now,” I say. She’s matured a lot in the last few years, but the damage done by our family always lingers, waiting to rise from the ashes and cause chaos. “I can’t tell you how many times she said she wished you were her dad when she was growing up. Things are going good for her. I don’t want to—”
“I get it,” Rock says.
“And I don’t want to say anything to Murphy either. There’s no point making his life awkward by keepin’ stuff from Heidi.” That’s only one of many reasons I want to keep this from my best friend.
“You gonna talk to Charlotte?” he asks with a bit of presidential authority creeping into his tone.
Hell, Charlotte’s the only person I want to talk this over with. “She won’t say anything.”
“Good.” His gaze turns distant. While wallowing in my own confusion and worrying about everyone else, I haven’t given a lot of attention to how Rock is handling this. “Are you okay, Rock? This must be really fucking weird for you.”
He lets out a sad laugh. “It’s such a long time ago.”
“But you remember what happened?” I ask. Not that I want details.