“You’re fine. You don’t need me,” I say, harsher than I mean to be.
Kayden’s smile falters. I don’t know what else to say so I brave another steady breath and turn on my heel to make my way back to the tent when he calls for me again.
“I came back to see you.”
I stop in my tracks. Snap my head back at him.
“What?”
“I came back to see you, Lucky.” Kayden is walking toward me now. Every step he takes makes my heart race.
“Well, I came back for the wedding. But mostly to see you.
I’ve missed you. So damn much.”
And just like that, the anger slips into my skin easily, burning intensely like the disinfectant I’d poured over his wound.
“Don’t,” I say sharply. “You don’t get to do this. You left me. You don’t deserve to miss me.”
“I know.” A lump forms in his throat. He lowers his head, his eyes hooded by his thick eyelashes. “Leaving you was probably the worst thing I’ve ever done. You needed me and I failed you by leaving. I was a coward. I was afraid because of what I’d done to you. And I left because it was easier to walk away than to fight for you.”
A shiver races through me upon hearing his words. I still don’t say anything back. I’m glad that he finally came to his senses, but it feels like this is months overdue. And I’m not sure it’s enough for me to just let everything bad that happened between us go.
“I’m so sorry for all the pain I caused you, Sienna.”
Kayden takes a daring step toward me. Regret flickers in his expression. “When I was gone, I felt really shitty about myself. About what I’d done to you. To us. I’ve had time to ruminate on it and I realize I wasn’t just running from you.
I was running from my own fears. My own doubts. And I couldn’t face them for the longest time. What we had just made it harder for me to deal with it.”
I feel conflicted. He’s finally aware of what he’s done and is trying to fix those issues. But at the same time, I just can’t help but feel frustrated because it took him this long to figure out.
“What do you want me to say, Kayden?” I ask him, exasperated. “What do you expect me to do right now? To take you back? I can’t do that. I have a good life here. And you can’t just come back out of the blue and screw up all my plans. You don’t get to say you miss me and hope that everything will be okay again. Because it won’t be. You left people here, Kayden. People who love you. And instead of seeking help from them, you left. You chose to run. And you’ve got to live with that.”
I hate what I have to say to him because despite everything I’ve just uttered—all of the resentment and the anger and the hurt—I still love him. Wholeheartedly. My heart sings for him. Every cell in my body calls out to him.
It’s pathetic and stupid but it’s true and I can’t keep lying to myself.
“You’re right,” Kayden says.
“I’m right?” I say, baffled.
“Me leaving Boston hurt a lot of people. I get that. And you’re right—I don’t expect you to forgive me. Or take me back. I know you, Sienna, and the one thing I admire most about you is that you stand your ground on things that matter. And you should be in control of your own decisions,”
Kayden says, hands slipping into the pockets of his trousers.
He squares his shoulders shyly. “But if you’re all right with it, I’d really like a chance to explain myself and where I’ve been.
I want to make it up to you, or at least try to. I’m not giving up without a fight. Not this time.”
“Kayden . . .”
“Please,” he breathes. “I promise I won’t keep you for long.”
I bite my lip in contemplation. My eyes bounce back and forth between the reception tent and Kayden. I don’t know what to do here. Okay, maybe I do, but it’s still not an easy decision to make. Brent and Evans need me by their side. I’m their bridesmaid. The most logical choice would be to get back to the reception and never talk to Kayden again.
But then again, it’s Kayden. The man I love is standing in front of me after all these months, asking for another chance. The old me would tell him to screw off. But I’m not that person anymore.
And something tells me he isn’t the same either.
In the end, my heart wins the tug of war.
In the end, I allow myself to listen to what it truly wants.
“Okay,” I say instead. “Just one chance. Lead the way.”