There are many things I want to ask him. The words rush into my mind but I’m incapable of forming them into coherent sentences. I didn’t expect him to be here. Brent said he hasn’t been back here since I was admitted to the hospital.
I can’t believe he’s here. Right in front of me.
When I’ve managed to make my mouth form words, I blurt out all the questions I’ve been meaning to ask him.
“What are you doing here?” I ask. “Are you okay? Did you know that everyone has been looking for you?”
Kayden doesn’t answer me. He doesn’t have to. My gaze drops to the duffel bag on the floor that is teeming with clothes, with a few stacks of cash and personal documents strewn around inside. My eyes dart back to his face, which now wears a guilty expression.
“You’re leaving,” I say with finality.
I try to suck in a steady gasp of air, but he’s stolen all the air in the room, right along with my heart, tossing it all in his bag to leave me with nothing.
“I don’t . . . I don’t get it,” I stammer, stepping toward him. “Do you need more time? I get that what happened during the finals was bad, but do you really have to leave?”
So many questions. Not enough answers. I’m searching for them amid the shadows that line his eyes but I’m left empty handed.
“Sienna . . .” Kayden braces a shaky hand over the side of his face.
No. This is not happening. I’m not letting him leave justlike that.
“Why didn’t you visit?” I ask and he gulps nervously.
“You saved my life and you didn’t even bother to stick around. If you feel guilty about me risking my life for you then you should stop, because I swear I would do it all over again if it meant that you wouldn’t take that deadly hit from Jax.
“I don’t understand.” My voice is shaky and hoarse. He ignores me, continuing to fold his clothes and stuff them in his bag. I grab his shoulder in an effort to swing his attention back to me. “Help me understand, Kayden. Why? I get that climbing into that cage was stupid but—”
“It’s not about that!” He huffs, wrenching my hand away from him. Anger blazes through him in a way I’ve never seen before, making me flinch. “Sienna, I’m trying to protect you!”
“Protect me? From who?”
“From me!”
Kayden’s words clang through the room, his torment digging into me deeply.
So this is what it’s about? That he feels responsible for putting me in the hospital?
Kayden draws out an exhale, allowing his shoulders to sag. “You know why I threw that fight, right? I told you that if you didn’t let that anger go, you were going to lose yourself. I thought I could save you from that.”
“I didn’t ask you to save me, Kayden. I thought we were in this together,” I say sharply. “But ever since the wedding, you’ve been making all the choices without me. Like I’m not even here.”
“You chose revenge over me.” A pained look flits across his face. “So I did what I thought was right.”
“What would’ve been right was telling me what you were going to do before you went and almost got yourself killed!” I snap at him, my heart pounding fiercely against my chest as the aggravation spreads through the rest of my body. “How was throwing the fight the right decision?
And if it was, it should’ve been our choice to make, Kayden.
Considering I’ve been with you on this from the start.”
He looks at me with the saddest of eyes.
“If I told you, would you have let me go through with it?”
The dagger strikes deep. I pull my gaze away from him, knowing my answer is exactly what he assumed it would be.
Because Kayden and I both knew what would have happened. We would have had this argument, just two days earlier.
And it would have still gotten us nowhere.