THIRTY-SIX
Four Months Later
I watch from afar as Brent and Evans slow dance to their wedding song with their arms tightly wounded around each other.
I let out a tiny laugh as Evans twirls Brent around with one hand and uses the opportunity to crash their lips together. Brent snakes his arms around Evans’s neck and kisses him back just as fiercely.
I can’t believe my two best friends are married.
I’m finally at that age when people are starting to get married. And it’s downright weird.
And apparently, Brent and Evans have been married for several weeks. With all the remaining money that Evans had saved up before his parents cut him off, he and Brent had flown to Vegas in July and after a drunken night playing cards and blowing the rest of the money they had, ultimately decided it would be a swell idea to get married then and there.
If I had been there, I would have tried to knock some sense into them and explain what a reckless idea it was to get married before they’ve even graduated from college. I was utterly convinced that they were going to regret it and all of us were going to have to hear about an ugly separation afterward, but the weeks went by and they seemed happier than ever, stealing every chance they could to flirt and kiss each other. It’s nauseating and most of the time I can’t stand to be in the same room with them, but I let them have their moment, chalking it up to postwedding obsession.
And now, after a lot of pestering from friends and family—namely me—who were sour they hadn’t been there for the elopement, we’re here at Red Jacket Beach Resort in Cape Cod as they celebrate their second nuptials. I did get a little teary eyed when they recited their vows. I’d expected Brent to have the long love speech but rather, it was Evans, and he absolutely nailed it.
You are the person who anchors me, brings me back toaxis when I’m lost. You are the first person I want to see in themorning and the last person I want to see before I go to sleep, Evans said to Brent at the altar. I’m so insanely in love withyou, and I would rather die than see another person touch youlike I do, smile at you like I do, kiss you breathless like I do. I’mhappy to be the only person you do all those things with, andI love you so much because of all the craziest ideas I’ve everproposed to you, this was the only one you said yes to. And it’sthe only yes that matters to me.
Truth be told, I’m happy that they’re happy. Even if I don’t necessarily agree with the hasty decision. But I guess different couples move at different paces, and if this is what felt right to Brent and Evans, then I’m willing to support it.
And at least the rest of my friends still have their common sense intact. Though I do hear they’re moving on to better things as well. Alex and Daniel are thinking of moving out of the apartment this fall after their lease is up. The start-up company that Daniel and Simon built together is beginning to generate money, and the four of them no longer feel the need to share an apartment. I’m happy for them and hope it comes to fruition because I’m getting tired of hearing Alex complain about the apartment being too crowded.
My eyes linger on Brent and Evans for a little while longer before drifting away to the other couples on the dance floor. Elijah and Patricia are in a tight embrace as they move steadily to the slow rhythm of the song. I haven’t had a chance to talk to them all day. They’ve been so busy accommodating all the wedding guests, and I didn’t want to bother them.
Patricia and I have gotten closer since Kayden left town.
She’s been keeping tabs on him, hoping that he won’t get into any trouble while he’s away. I’m glad that Kayden decided to keep in contact with his parents after he left. At least they don’t have to worry about him.
He still hasn’t called me since we broke up. And I get it. He needs to start another life without me in it. So when Patricia offers to give me insight on how he’s doing, I tell her I don’t want to know. We both need to heal from each other. And the only way I can move on is by knowing very little about him.
For once in my life, I’m happy. Or at least as happy as I try to be. Sure, there are times when I ache for Kayden’s presence. Times when I wish I could feel the brush of his lips on mine again. Times when I long to see his dimpled smile and feel his warm touch. It still hurts to think about him, but I balance the hurt with the clarity of knowing that he’s out there, living a better life than when he was here in Boston.
As if on instinct, I glance at the initials on the inside of my arm.
K.W.
Everyone said that I was crazy to get a tattoo of my ex-boyfriend’s initials. But I can still remember what Kayden said to me when we were together talking about tattoos: I don’t ever want to forget this. I want to remember you—
everything about you. I want to remember what it’s like to bewith you. It doesn’t matter if in five or ten years from nowwe’re just a memory to each other. When I look at your nameon my heart, I want to remember that you once had it. And Ionce had yours.
I’ll never want to forget what I had with him. Never. I’ll always think of him as the man who once owned my heart and inflated it with love and purpose.
“Hey,” Evans says as he approaches me from the dance floor, wriggling his eyebrows as he extends a hand to me in invitation. He looks dashing in his navy blue tuxedo, his neat blond hair swept to the side to highlight the brightness in his brown eyes. Despite looking the same, he feels older.
More grown up now. “Care to dance?”
“No.”
“I’ll take that as a yes,” he declares anyway, pulling on my hand. “Come on. Dance with me. It’s my wedding.”
I groan, letting him pull me to the dance floor, where he loops a sturdy arm around my waist. I slide my hands over his shoulders, leaning into his sway.
“Technically speaking, it’s your second one,” I correct him spitefully. “I wasn’t invited to the first.”
A ridiculous smile crosses his face. “Real y? You still mad about that?”
“Maybe.”