I was stupid enough to do it long ago
.
Maybe from the first time that I saw him and wanted him to be mine.
Chapter Fifteen
Josh
“So any chance of hanging out this weekend?” Matt asks tentatively.
I smirk and shake my head. I have plans this weekend. I want to take Giselle sailing but something is up with her and I don’t know what it is.
Scratch that…
I have an idea. I think I know what it is and I’m trying to get my head around it so I do it right.
Friday is supposed to be our last day together working here and the last day of us the way we are.
That was the unwritten contract and understanding. Things have changed though.
I think she wants to know what’s happening with us.
“Any chance of ever seeing you again outside work?” Matt asks, leaning against the table.
We’ve been meeting up here at the coffeehouse in the mornings and sometimes late like this.
“Of course. Let’s plan something,” I laugh.
“Plan, like the last time you canceled a sailing trip we planned months in advance?”
I still feel bad about that, but not so much when I think of what I got in return. It was a trip with the guys worth sacrificing. I will never, ever, get the image of Giselle in my bed wearing that yellow set out of my head. She’s right, yellow is her color, but then I fucking love her in anything and any kind of color.
I take a sip of my coffee and raise my hands.
“I won’t cancel this time. We’ll go sailing in a few weeks.”
He inclines his head to the side and frowns at me. “Weeks Josh?”
God, he’s the one with the girlfriend and he still has time for the guys. Me though, I’m obsessed with my girl and I can’t get enough of her no matter how much she gives. I still can’t get enough.
“Let me check my calendar later and we’ll make a date for two weeks.” I think that’s reasonable.
“Okay… that’s sounds better. And in two weeks will you still be under this contract of yours with Giselle? I mean, will you be extending it, promoting her, or ending it ?”
I stare at him and rest my elbow on the table. The thing about Matt and I is we’ve always been real with each other. He’s the guy I tell my secrets and my inner thoughts. He’s the guy I trust.
“So… the situation is this. I don’t want to extend it and I don’t want to end it.”
“You want to promote her?” he asks carefully and I find myself nodding slowing.
“I just don’t know how to go about it. Matt, I’m not boyfriend material. Before you even tell me you aren’t either, don’t. We’re different. We just are. I want her to be with somebody that deserves her, and I’m too selfish to let her go. At the same fucking time I know Dad is going to lose his shit if he sees me with her.”
“Does it matter if you have the job?”
“The man’s not stupid. That won’t matter. She was just the stipulation because I was directly working with her. I know he doesn’t want me doing the same shit I used to with anybody, her included, even if we aren’t working together anymore.”
He narrows his eyes at me. “There’s nothing against that here. You’re allowed to have relationships, especially if you aren’t even working in the same building.”