I need to figure out what I’m doing. Not with work, with Giselle.
The shit happened with Dad, but the part I’m stuck on is her.
Because… I still; want her, I’m just not sure she should be with me.
I hear the front door open and I scowl.
The tension recedes from me however when Dad comes into the kitchen. I forgot he has a key to my place too, but no way did I expect him to be here. not when he’s so ashamed and disappointed in me.
“What are you doing here, Dad?” I ask.
He sighs and gives me an uneasy look.
“I’m here to talk son,” he answers.
“Dad, I can’t. I don’t want to. I should think you’d be more relieved than anything to get rid of me, now Riley can have the job and you won’t have to feel bad to pass him up an opportunity you wanted to give him in the first place.”
“That’s not true Joshua,” Dad says shaking his head.
“The job was yours right from I decided to open it. Then you really pissed me off with the temp and I knew Riley wanted the job too so I… did what I thought was best.”
“Dad… I didn’t do anything with anybody to be classed as unprofessional. I get that my previous behavior was shit, but I wouldn’t have gone to the new branch and give you a bad name. I wouldn’t have planned to do that. But it doesn’t matter anymore.”
“It does, because I want you to run the place Joshua. Last night I said something I shouldn’t have and I admit this competition wasn’t fair on you. I saw that you changed, but I was just taking precautions when I thought you hadn’t. I didn’t want to lose Giselle the way we lost Marsha, or any of the other woman you pissed off. I saw her talent and wanted to keep her. Joshua, I need you for this job. Riley is good, but you’re the best.”
I look at him and consider it. It’s all been too much that I’m not sure how I want to proceed.
“If I take it, I don’t want you breathing down my neck. I want you to trust me to have a handle on things. I want you to trust that I got things under control and I mostly if I have a chance with Giselle, I want you to allow me to see what I might have with her.”
He still and his face softens. “You really do like her?”
“Yes. I do.”
He nods. “Okay… I will do all of that. If.. if I may, it seemed to me like she might feel the same way about you too.”
“Well, I don’t know. Since you both seem to know what I’m like I’m not sure what chance I have with her.”
“Joshua, I’m here today not because you’re my son and I feel like I should give you everything. I’m here today because I know I have something good. Someone good. The best. If she knows that, I guarantee you, you have a chance.”
That’s perhaps the best thing he’s ever said about me. “Thank you, Dad… I appreciate that.”
He nods. “It’s truth.”
Truth. I guess for her to know the truth, I’d have to tell her.
Maybe that’s the answer, and nothing else will matter.
Just the parts I want where I showed her how much I wanted her.
Chapter Seventeen
Giselle
“Hey… take it easy on yourself,” Rachel says.
She reaches across the table and takes my hand.
We’ve seemed to gather here at the coffeehouse more than normal since I’ve been seeing Josh.