James
I’m a hypocrite, but to myself.
There I am telling Paige not to worry when I’m shitting myself.
Marsha wanted to talk to me about the job. I was careless enough to forget I had a catch-up meeting with her. I remembered I had it—I just forgot the date. I forgot today was the date for the meeting, and the woman has so much respect for me and admiration that she came to seek me out when I didn’t show up. She never does that with anyone else.
Most people refer to her as the dragon bitch because she always has this strict, no-nonsense demeanor about her.
Not with me though. What makes her like me is my results. No one can refute results. That’s why that prick Kevin is always on my ass for one thing or another, trying his best to pick at me for shit.
I went to find Marsha after Paige left and she made time to fit me in.
It was a fantastic meeting. Definitely the kind I should be more excited about, but I can’t be.
It’s only been two and a half weeks since I’ve been with Paige, and I feel guilty. Guilty for the debauchery I’m getting up to with her, and guilty for the debauchery I have planned for later. Guilty for the wild fantasies I have yet to engage in that I’m outrightly refusing to put a stop to, even though I know it could cost me my job.
I keep thinking what would have happened if I didn’t lock my office door. Marsha would have opened it and come in, and there would have been nowhere to go or hide from her. Paige and I wouldn’t have had time to get our clothes on, and even if I hid Paige, she would have still seen her. I would have looked like some kind of joke trying to hide a grown woman in my office.
Fuck, fucking fuck. I don’t want to stop seeing Paige, and I don’t know what to do. I hate that word hide. It’s the only way though.
Now I have my father to deal with.
My plans today were supposed to be work, catch up with Paul for a quick coffee, then head to the club to spend the night with Paige.
Pa messaged me while I was having that coffee with Paul, requesting I come to him before the close of business today.
That’s what he’s always been like with all of us. Businesslike and regimented even if I have to meet him at home or at one of the firms.
Today it’s home, so here I am at quarter to five, making my way to him on the edge of time.
As I drive up the long winding road that leads to my parents’ stately home, just like always I admire the view.
This is the house I grew up in. I remember being that unruly boy of nine years old leaving Italy. I loved living there. Our house there is literally like a castle and the land around it enough to be classed as a small island. It’s actually situated off the coast of Sicily, connected to the mainland by a thin strip. People called it The Island. As boys, my brothers and I used to have all sorts of adventures.
This place here comes close. I never wanted to leave our castle-like house in Italy, but damn did my parents make up for it with another castle-like fortress.
People say my house is too big for me. I have a mansion that I think is comfortable for my needs. My brothers and I are the same—we spend our riches on travelling and cars. My parents, however, love land.
Freddie, our butler, greets me as I pull up on the drive. He always does that. The staff here are the same as when I was a boy. Some, like Freddie, worked for my family back in Italia. Freddie comes out and greets me in the customary way, like I’m his own son.
“Bongiorno, mi amo,” he says. He still speaks with a heavy accent.
“Bongiorno,” I reply.
He taps my hair, putting it in place, and fixes my collar like I’m still a kid. “Dio Mio, Freddie.” I shrug him off and laugh.
“He’s not in a good mood today. Trust me, you don’t want to go inside looking like this.”
Translation:Pa’s in a really bad mood.
“What happened now?”
“Not sure. It sounded like someone outbid him at an auction. In fact, I’m guessing it’s that.”
We start walking into the house as Ma comes down the stairs, rushing down them like she hasn’t seen me in years. I usually visit twice a month. We all do. On the first and third Sunday of the month we all have dinner together. I missed the first dinner this month because my flight home from my vacation in the Bahamas got cancelled. I’m supposed to be here next Sunday, but I’d bet this visit has gotten her excited.
Her eyes twinkle and her face brightens. Her shiny raven hair looks longer and reminds me of how she used to wear it when I was a boy. Ma hasn’t changed much over the years in her style, and her looks. She’s always been very sophisticated and dressed like she’s ready to walk the runway, so I’m not surprised to see her in a long flowing gown that flows out behind her as she makes her descent down the stairs.