didn’t want to ruin anything for us. I didn’t want to have that
conversation with her yet. Even after everything, I was afraid
she’d tell me that she wasn’t going to tell them. That this was
just an in between thing for her. That she didn’t have the
courage to do it. That after a few weeks of this, she’d move on
and go back to dating guys to make her family happy.
I didn’t want to think that I was her therapy, her brief
bout of honesty, her vacation away from her real life because
she needed it to keep her sanity. I didn’t want to be that. But
the nagging voice was always there. The worry. The doubt. It
was always telling me that this couldn’t possibly be real. That
it couldn’t last. That it wouldn’t last. That even if you truly
care for someone, that’s often hardly enough to make a
relationship last.
I think everyone has an intrinsic fear of abandonment,
but mine has been made worse by experience.
“Adley?”
I try to keep my doubts from reflecting on my face.
“What happened?”
“We talked.” Steph’s smile is instant and soft. She
obviously loves her parents, whatever their differences. “My
mom was shocked, but why wouldn’t she be? She understood
that I’m an adult and that I can make my own choices. She
wasn’t mean about anything, even if she didn’t really
understand. She never said anything horrible. I’m sure she
didn’t even think it.”
“I thought you said they were pretty conservative.”
“They are, but my mom doesn’t want me to be
unhappy, and after we talked, she realized that I’m never going
to be happy being married to a man. I’m having dinner with